<p>This is an assumption that really needs to go away. Just because she is breastfeeding, it does not mean that she’ll be forced to nurse at a moment’s notice, no matter how awkward or inappropriate the surroundings. Breastfeeding (especially a toddler) is something that can be planned for, and it can be done discreetly. As children get older, they are not breastfeeding on demand - a toddler will usually nurse upon rising in the morning, before nap time, and before bedtime. Non-stop snacking throughout the day is not necessary and it can certainly be managed. I nursed three children well into toddlerhood and I was usually able to find a quiet place even in public - a bench in the corner of a lobby, a chair in a restroom - even the car. With a small blanket draped over my shoulder, people rarely knew what I was up to. Actually, the only difficult place I ever found was on board a plane. I had to travel frequently when my second child was a newborn to see my mother who was terminally ill. Even then, situated in a window seat, I was able to drape myself so that no one could see what I was doing.</p>
<p>I went back and forth (I’d hate to miss it) but considering your circumstances with such little ones, I would send H and stay home. There will plenty of other times to visit again in the future.
Find a babysitter who can take your kids for a weekend! Which will be easier in a year or two. BUT insist on videos/photos/lots of text messaging/phone calls! Try to stay part of the weekend even if you aren’t physically present.
Pizzagirl–breast feeding doesn’t need to be awkward or distracting to anybody–you can always excuse yourself or find a quiet corner. And son is probably used to it by now. And by one year mom is probably good at this! Knew I was!</p>
<p>My daughter developed and ran the accepted students weekend at her school. She also ran an additional different program for accepted students. She says that in most cases, the kids were not accompanied by their parents. Her school did not have organized activities for parents…the accepted STUDENT day was all about the STUDENTS. But parents could go to the finaid office, join a tour group, or just walk around. </p>
<p>Her school, and our son’s had more extensive parent offerings during orientation. However, I’m going to say…with two little ones, I would only send ONE parent to the college parent events…unless someone offers to take care of the toddlers at home. It is a long weekend that is about the college kid…we never took the younger or older sibling with us…and ours were older!</p>
<p>The only reason I went with the worm was that we did no touring together (he applied as a junior). I booked a 3 city week flight. We did get to CMU for accepted students weekend, but he stayed in dorm and I was at a hotel. The other 2 colleges we saw during regular school hours, but had arranged for him to sit in classes. One of those colleges went all out, with an hour interview, a private tour, and then encouragement to return next day to see more classes. </p>
<p>While I was there, I didn’t form a #1, that was for son to decide. I still think he would have been fine at either college.</p>
<p>I went with D and then we all went for move in. Two reasons:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Cost. Three people flying twice in a short period of time was a bit much</p></li>
<li><p>She could not go alone as she had only one night at school but needed to be there two additional nights and hotels will not take a 17 year old alone.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I flew with her, attended parent programs, meet with school admissions and financial aid, etc</p>
<p>Students can usually survive on their own at Accepted Students weekend. But it’s great if another parent can go too. They can share the excitement and learn parent stuff in parent sessions.</p>
<p>Perhaps you would all go to dropoff… if you have a big enough vehicle.</p>
<p>Neither one of my kids went to accepted students weekends, but they had visited the schools they eventually attended prior to applying. I was the parent who took my kids for those visits, but for move in, all three of us went.</p>
<p>Wow… to have a college-age kid and two toddlers… kudos to you - must be quite interesting (saying this from the perspective of having a brother 16 years older than me!). And way to go for the breastfeeding at a year. I was a long-termer, too, and La Leche League leader for a few years.</p>
<p>I’d say drop-off is the LAST place you want two very young children. IIRC, there was a thread on this a couple of years ago where folks discussed how difficult it was when students’ entire families (inc. elderly grandparents) came for move-in.</p>
<p>No need for either parent to attend. My kids would have hated to have me around when they wanted the chance to live like a real college student for a day or two. Many will be there without parents, who have, like you, other needs and obligations. (Don’t forget that some kids are attending several accepted students shindigs.) There are events planned for parents not because they need to be present, but because it’s an opportunity to “sell” the school to them. If your kid decides to attend this college, you’ll have plenty of other opportunities to visit.</p>
<p>Count me in as for sending him alone or with 1 parent.<br>
I prefer your idea of going during your spring break and making a fun family vacation out of it, if everyone wants to check it out. Admissions visits are fun, and a big dog and pony show to try to secure their admitted students, so seeing the college in its natural state would be more informative to your S. However, the dog and pony show is definitely a “fun” time, so if he wanted to experience all of the fun, would send alone or with 1 parent.</p>
<p>Also, ask on cc college thread, what % of parents attend the admissions day.</p>
<p>My husband did all visits and accepted student days with my son. I only went to the final choice during move in day. So if you son chooses that school, you have more of a reason for everyone to go then.</p>
<p>A move in with 2 small children sounds like a horrible and unsafe idea, unless the 2small children are clearly tucked away off campus with a babysitter.</p>
<p>There are probably not a lot of us in this situation, but I can actually chime in from experience! Our oldest is a college freshman now and our youngest is 3, with a teenager in the middle. H handled the college visits while I stayed home with the then two year old, and I got to move S in to his final choice while H stayed home with the other two, and then H went to parent’s weekend while I held down the fort here. This worked SO MUCH BETTER than trying to haul the toddler around. With your two under four, that just makes the decision easier. Stay home. If you want, you get to move him in solo if this is where he ends up and your youngest is done with breastfeeding–that is still months away, who knows what will be happening by then?<br>
That also gives you time to work out (firm up and lose a little weight if you want to and if you get motivated), get your hair done, cute jeans etc. (maybe even some Botox, haha) so you can face all those old friends looking and feeling your best.<br>
Good luck! Not a lot of people have the experience of researching colleges and preschools at the same time, it was very odd for me but lots of fun!</p>
<p>I agree with Pizzagirl–do NOT bring 2 toddlers to move in day. I would work hard to find someone to stay with the toddlers, you have several months to find someone to babysit them. Do NOT bring them along. You both will want to go to move in day, especially since this is your first. It is not safe for little kids to be around. It’s chaotic and lots of people carrying boxes, etc. and won’t see little ones as they are walking. By then your youngest will be done nursing so that shouldn’t be an issue.</p>
<p>My two oldest went by themselves. But yes agree, don’t bring little kids. If my third “picks” a close by college I might go simply because I’m curious what they tell parents at these events, but if he goes far away he can also go by himself. Remember they need to learn to navigate their way to and from a college (for Christmas travel, end of the year travel etc.) so the getting to and from the college alone is a valuable teachable moment and might weigh in on their ultimate “choice” of college. Youngest son has witnessed his older brothers get “stuck” overnight at an airport during a blizzard and this past Christmas not get home at all.</p>
<p>0-1 parent is all that is needed. Frankly, the kids have their own agendas and you never see them. If money is an issue, send the kid by himself. (We always sent one parent on accepted students’ weekend–it’s useful for logistics…driving from airport to college, etc.)</p>
<p>We both came out for the first move in day, though. It was important to me to see the campus where my kids would be spending the next 4 years with my own eyes.</p>
<p>I agree with LMNOP, a parent (well, let’s be honest, more for me as the mom) needs to see where her “baby” is living. If dad does the preliminary visits like us and can picture where child will live (and if money or other kids’ childcare is an issue), then mom does the settling in once it is move in time.<br>
For me, the visits to Bed Bath & Beyond when S was moving in were really cool when it was just him and me–he was so used to little sisters tagging along that the alone time with just us two became special. And I got to make his bed and organize his room when he was off to orientation later (I would put in an expletive here, parents were not welcome much after the first day of move in and I had traveled 1000+ miles to do this and had only planned for three days–he wanted me to leave after the first day or two).
Get thick skin once your child reaches this milestone–while still loving and caring for them, they are really sometimes very self-interested. They still love you, but it is their time to be “free.” ICK, I hate that!<br>
I’m grateful, though, nods to OH Mom and anyone else with major issues after the first semester–my S is doing OK and not moving home. I am SO grateful for that!</p>