<p>My son was accepted to MA Upper School. We live in the state. How often will we be able to see him?</p>
<p>As often as you want. Why wouldn’t you be able to? I’d guess you could go every weekend and take him out to dinner - or even bring him home for dinner, if you wanted to. Why are you concerned?</p>
<p>Other than the fact that we got zero aid it’s the one area of consternation for his mother. I suspected that we would be able to visit him / him us often but just wanted to run it by folks who’ve been there. This is our first time at this rodeo!</p>
<p>One caveat. The point of Boarding School is for students to immerse in the culture. So those students whose parents are on campus a lot tend to stress out from missing the social aspects. So yes - you can visit as often as you like - but that doesn’t mean you should. Plan for holidays and some long weekends. But leave room for breathing space in case your son has other things going on. </p>
<p>We can tell the distress because you’ve posted that on three threads. But why? Did you expect FA?</p>
<p>Sorry. My first time on threads. Visitation was more of a curiousity. Your advice is teriffc. Thanks. FA is a much bigger deal</p>
<p>No problem. We’re all in the same boat. Hang in there!</p>
<p>@papawithquestion, is your son going to be a 9th grader? If he is, I will mostly likely meet him because I am probably going to attend Milton this fall as a 9th grade boarding girl!</p>
<p>10th Grade. Congrats to you!!</p>
<p>@papa: I don’t know about Milton’s policies, but know of at least one school where they suggest that parents DO NOT visit for at least the first month…I think the goal is to get the kids to settle in without the coming and going of parents. </p>
<p>FWIW, it’s our first time in the rodeo as well. Have you seen my Drug & Alcohol thread? ;-)</p>
<p>I am planning to stay in Boston for few months just to make sure my D has a smooth transition so that she can ask for my help on weekends ( I have family members in the area so I have things to do on her school days) If she is okay, I will leave and go back home. My friends said that I should let go and let her to be independent if I had decided her to attend BS but my husband wanted me to be around our “baby girl”…I am still hesitating if I should let her go or let her stay…</p>
<p>An Adcom told me, recently, about a boarding student who went home on the weekends. Turns out the mom had bought a condo nearby away. </p>
<p>Here’s my question: Why send them to boarding school if you’re going to be close by? Many of the students have family out of the country - or across the country - and do just fine.</p>
<p>It’s critical you send your child to boarding school ONLY if you think they can manage without a safety net. Boarding school is not just “classes” but the entire social fabric that happens off hours.</p>
<p>Your baby girl will be fine. You should stay home and Skype her to check on her. </p>
<p>I say that both as a current BS parent, a former HADES student. Parents who get condos or stay with friends so they can be on hand every weekend are more of a hindrance than a help. </p>
<p>Many schools use the term: “helicopter” parent. They hover, stick around and won’t let go so the child can flourish in their new environment. That’s the wrong way to start your child in her new school.</p>
<p>ExieMITAlum, Thanks for your advice. My daughter is ready but the parents aren’t. I think we just need some time to get used to the changes.</p>
<p>@HK - us too. When my oldest attended a program near by it was hard to convince my husband that he couldn’t drive over and peek in the windows to check on her. The next year it was easier and we were consoling all the first time parents who were weeping in the reception hall (it was only a two week program one hour away).</p>
<p>The real test for us was when our oldest flew to Japan with her high school group. No way to get there, constantly looking at maps and realizing how far away it is. But it was good training. Youngest is now in Europe and out of phone contact and we’re satisfied from her periodic emails that she’s fine.</p>
<p>My advice? Take a vacation or immerse in something new and interesting for those first few weeks. Will take your mind off the transition and the idea of having an empty bedroom. It worked for us.</p>
<p>And here’s why that is important - my daughter’s initial transition to BS was tougher than she expected - getting used to the academic pace, learning the system, finding friends (she was 10th grade and most students started at 9th grade). It was jarring because she’s so independent and assertive usually. If I had lived nearby I would have wanted to rescue her. But a few weeks later she was settled, had friends, was loving life and calling it “home.” Her giggles and the laughter of her friends on Skype let us know she was going to be just fine.</p>
<p>So be prepared that every kid has a momentary period where they are adjusting. Part of that process is to NOT have the parent there to help. If you can survive that first jarring situation, all will be well. THEN you can come visit for parents day and see her progress and catch up on hugs.</p>