I disagree – students are allowed to back out of an ED commitment if their FA package is not viable for their family, and this is SCEA, not ED. I personally can’t imagine that Yale would require the OP to withdraw their other applications prior to receiving their FA package.
But that’s just my opinion. OP, it would probably be wise to contact Yale to confirm. But I personally can’t imagine they would require you to withdraw other applications prior to receiving the FA package. They might, however, require that you not apply anywhere new, which I know was the original question that you posted.
does he need to de-commit first? my understanding is, if he commits any time before May 1, then he needs to withdraw other applications, of course he can wait till May 1 to commit per SCEA rule. Maybe I am wrong on this.
I wouldn’t worry about hitting the accept button prematurely. I would let the AO know that you hit the button by mistake, especially as you are waiting on the FA package. Yale has already committed to not receiving a decision from you until the end of April. I am sure this is something that happens not infrequently.
You are causing yourself undue angst. You have a great outcome, and even if you did nothing further, you will get into an excellent UC at in-state rates. While I admire your concerns about money, that really is your parents’ concern. If they own and operate a successful business, I’d trust their knowledge about budgeting for college expenditures.
Keep it simple. See what your FA package is. If it is not what you expect, the FA office will work with you whether or not you have a competing package. By accepting you SCEA, Yale has indicated that you are one of their top picks.
Then compare your other alternatives, looking at both fit and finance. I do think the question of post graduate plans should come into play and how that would be financed. Assume med school or law school costs will be significant. Assume most other grad school programs (esp STEM) will be fully funded.
In terms of fit, there are some kids who would do equally well at a small college or a large university. For others, it will be different. For example, if Yale’s residential colleges were a big attraction to you, you will not get that at a UC. We talk about the cost of money whenever we ask whether a high cost school is worth it, but we should also be talking about the cost of time and experience. If I look at my son, I think he would have thrived at our flagship as much as he did at Yale – he is that outgoing guy who is friends with everyone. My daughter on the other hand went to a selective LAC and is now getting her PhD at a well known flagship. She always remarks how she could not see going to this school as an undergrad. She played a sport and has always had a small group of very close friends. This is an important question to ask about yourself.
Except we are all aware of parents who have unduly burdened themselves with college fees they can’t pay without sacrificing the education of their other children, or worse, their retirement funds.
I’m sorry to say it, but some parents do let pride get in the way of common sense. Maybe OP’s parents will make the finances work, but I think it is very sensible and admirable for the OP to consider his siblings and parents. Maybe there is a cultural expectation that this student, in the future, will financially take care of his parents. Maybe the OP doesn’t see that as part of his future. It is not unreasonable for the OP to consider this when weighing up his situation.
While we almost always agree, I disagree here. I think it appropriate that questions on finance are raised. Entirely reasonable to ask, have you considered x,y,z, but I think it is inappropriate for strangers to question a determination by parents once they have made it. Only they know what they can afford or are willing to sacrifice. Here the parents sound like they are financially savvy – why should we even begin to question their determination? Once we talk about sibling resentment, what about the OP’s resentment if he/she had a chance to go to their clear number 1. We really start to go down a rabbit hole. We are just increasing angst rather than helping the OP consider what is most important.
All three schools currently don’t consider the equity in applicant’s primary home. I don’t believe the equities in secondary homes are treated any differently by the three schools. Their full amounts are included in family assets and their formulae are likely the same.
They don’t require your family to sell the properties, but they do expect your family to borrow against the equities in secondary homes.
I could not agree with this post more! Furthermore the angst and uncertainty is coming from a well intentioned 17 or 18 year old, who most certainly does not have the same understanding of the family’s finances that the parents do. The parents have now twice said they can pay, and that OP going to Yale will not negatively affect siblings. I really wish posters would stop creating a problem when, at least as of now, there is no problem!
OP I also come from an immigrant family that revered education. My parents didn’t even have me apply for financial aid because they thought it would hurt my chances for admission. What you do is pay it forward. To your siblings, but also to your own kids, if you have them.
The issue is OP has already committed to Yale by error, then he should not apply for other schools unless he de-commit Yale first. This needs to be clarified with Yale AO to avoid potentially being rescinded.
That’s one opinion. Certainly not ideal that OP committed before the FA package was in place. But in terms of impact on other applicants (as you referenced in an earlier post), whether or not OP contacts the AO to de-commit (which they would grant with no issues) that would change nothing in terms of the number of RD acceptances that Yale doles out.
The OP says this in the original post. This is a genuine concern. This student is mature and sensible, and is thinking hard about reality. Frankly, I wish more students fully discussed college financial matters with their parents, and it’s better late than never.
I suspect if he found this thread too hard to handle, he wouldn’t be coming back here to keep the conversation going.
I’m still here … but kind of just ghost-reading, and trying to figure it out.
Thank you for everyone’s concerns and advice. And I really do appreciate and am trying to weigh in every different variable. I do understand that there is a large part of this that can only be addressed by my parents – as I do not know our entire financial situation, but I can make a pretty accurate estimate.
Like I said, I think I’m just going to kick back and relax. If the package ends up not being sufficient, I’ll try appealing. Some nice members have PMMed me some ways to go about that.
There’s also an unsaid element here. The thing is … my parents do expect me to financially support them in the future, which is fine – they have done miles to do the same for me – but I really don’t want them holding this over my head. That is, if they do have enough to pay for me, I don’t want them to use that as “leverage” in the future. I don’t think they will… but they also come from a very conservative background that sets less-than-ideal expectations with this stuff. I have seen it play out with my own family members. But that’s a murky situation I don’t want to delve into.
I also plan to go to law school – for those curious about my graduate plans. My parents said they can pay for that too. This is where I really began doubting their insistent claims. I’d be happy to go to a good UC. In fact, I was dead-set on it because I really, really did not expect Yale to accept me. But now that the acceptance is there… I really don’t think I can convince them to change their minds on this. They’re not letting Yale go. And I don’t blame them. I love Yale a lot too.
Fully agreed, Financials should be discussed and agreed well before the actual application to avoid any surprises like this.
In OP’s case, the worst scenario is to pay $65 for the first year, since financial documents are required to be submitted every year. The following 3 years will change accordingly anyway.
OP- my kids were shocked we could afford to be full pay (even though there were no surprises- we told them we were saving for college and were open about it).
We drove beat up cars, took modest vacations, made necessary home repairs (leaking roof) but not the fun stuff like a man cave or fancy kitchen. I assume they ALSO thought they had a good idea of our financial circumstances. They had short college lists- affordable public U’s and the reach schools where we’d be full pay.
I think you need to trust your parents. I am a bargain shopper- I NEVER pay full price. But nothing gave me more pleasure than paying for the right college for each kid- which turned out to be a full price option. And we were fine with that.
I’ve got friends who have retired (early 60’s) and they keep reminding me that if I’d sent my kids to a cheaper college, I’d be playing Pickleball all day instead of at my computer at work.
I don’t like pickleball and I love my job, so continuing to work is hardly a hardship!
You don’t want your parents impoverishing themselves to pay for Yale. But if they say they can afford it, they probably can.
I think the OP is being wise in deciding to just wait and see what Yale’s offer is. The only thing that I would like to emphasize for future readers who may be reading this thread is that I am not sure that one needs to compare packages among ivy league schools.
In many posts, people seemed to be suggesting that the OP should negotiate using offers by other ivies. At least in our experience, during the appeal, the discussion does not need to be about other ivy league schools’ financial aid packages. It can be about the package from any competitor school with meets-need aid. They will not try to match merit aid, but they are interested in the aid offered by any school that they consider a competitor and has a formula that results in a more generous package. So as a previous poster stated, a more generous package from Wesleyan can trigger a reconsideration just as much as a more generous package from Harvard or Princeton. They just won’t respond to appeals based on merit aid.