I have been a musician since at a very young age. I am a piano and cello player.
A lot of times I go to my instruments (mostly piano) for comfort, and I love to compose on them. Frankly I could not imagine surviving college without access to these instruments because they are soo instrumental (pun intended) to my mental well-being.
The bad news is I am not going for a music degree of any sort, I hate music theory, the need for perfection, the rules people impose on music, snobbery, and the unhealthy competition present in that degree path. I will likely not even be in any musical groups unless it is small scale and low pressure, or makes me money. Plus, I really love coding and computer science. I might take some composition classes, but only if the school I go to for CS has a good professor/program for it (school suggestions for CS+Composing would be appreciated).
Because of this I will likely be un-attached from a lot of the music programs, and will probably not have access to practice rooms etc. Unfortunately pianos are much too expensive and big to transport, and cellos are big and hard to store in a small dorm… plus I dont want to annoy my neighbors.
What are the chances I will be able to access practice rooms, and pianos at the school I go to? Who do I talk at a university to to request this (head of department, band director, instrument specialist etc)? Is there like a fee I can pay?
Hm…at my school practice rooms with pianos in them are available for anyone to use (though of course priority goes to music majors), but I don’t know about other instruments.
See if any schools you apply to have programs for non-music majors. My daughter got a scholarship for non-music majors at Susquehanna. She will get free piano lessons and the chance to play with ensembles, but she doesn’t have to take any music classes. She will have access to the practice rooms. And she is a jazz pianist, so she doesn’t have to worry much about rules. 
Very dependent on the school, but as a general rule I wouldn’t count on having access to instruments or practice space, especially if you have no intent to participate in extracurricular music groups.
Some schools do lend or rent instruments to students who are active in student band/orchestra/etc. for non-majors, but if you just want an instrument for personal use I advise focusing on solving it yourself.
As a cellist, I recommend getting either a Yamaha Silent Cello (has a headphone jack), or an NS Design cello and an external (pre-)amp with a headphone jack. The NS Cellos have the advantage of taking up less space, while the Silent Cello feels a bit more like a “real” cello and has the headphone solution built in. Either one can be had for under $2000. They will make just enough noise to bug a roommate who is trying to understand Kierkegaard while you practice, but should be inaudible to anyone outside your room. Get circumaural closed-back headphones for maximum sound isolation.
You could take a similar approach to piano by getting a digital hammer-weighted piano with a headphone jack, but I advise waiting to make that decision until you know what school you are going to. Many dorm common rooms and student unions have pianos that students can just sit down and play, so unlike the cello there is a reasonable hope that you wouldn’t have to own one of your own.
It really depends on the university. You’re likely to have better luck looking at smaller schools/LACs that don’t have schools of music or conservatories. I went to an LAC where anyone was able to use the practice rooms in the music building, and instrument lockers in the music building were also available to some students who were not music majors.
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Some dorms even have practice rooms and pianos for any student to use. Also, there are inexpensive piano keyboard for practicing with headphones that would fit in a small space.
My daughter did a music concentration in vocal but wanted to continue with cello for fun. I rented one for her at a local music store near her school and she took private lessons with a college instructor. I think there were music practice rooms available for non-majors but if you join an ensemble as a non major, assuming the school you attend permits this, you would probably get access.
Was in a similar boat as you- played piano competitively up until college, took a music theory class in high school and realized I didn’t like it, and decided I was done with the stress of competition, but still wanted to keep up music as a hobby. The music department will almost certainly have the option for you to buy access practice rooms (though probably only first come first serve if you’re non major). At my university, several dorms also had individual practice rooms where I could check out a music key for free from the dorm desk- see if this option exists for you too. As others said, common areas may also have a keyboard or piano that you play on.
A lot of universities often have some form of non-audition university strings/orchestra that are pretty low pressure and low time commitment. I also had a great experience taking the community music lessons offered by my university which were taught by grad students- they were very flexible and focused more on personal growth rather than prepping for competition or shooting for perfection. Definitely worth looking into whether your university offers something similar.
Some schools have very inviting programs in terms of free lessons. If you do this, you’ll have access to practice rooms. If this matters to you, ask about this at the schools you visit as
others offer lessons only by audition and may require supplemental fees.