Fall is only months ahead and I see it maybe a good time to start booking for air tickets.
I am learning that the parent weekend might be a great time to visit the school and see how well daughter would be doing. But I wonder what about the opening day?
Do most parent come with the freshmen? Is there anything for the parents, or are the schools too busy? Will we be hugging and saying good-bye at the school gate or will there be meetings with teachers, etc? I would love to greet her new teachers but I wonder if they would have time.
Daughter has traveled alone and enjoyed it. The school has shuttle from the airport.
It can vary from school to school but typically a parent or parents will accompany the student to opening day, help get stuff up to the dorm room and set up the room. You will often meet the dorm head, the roommate and roommate’s family, probably some administrative types like deans or head of school. There can be a morning session for parents. You can help your student get books at the bookstore. Typically past midday/early afternoon, they want the parents to leave so the kids can start adjusting. There will be kids who travel from overseas or across the country who might move themselves in, however, due to cost and traveling time. You are unlikely to meet our daughter’s teachers at move in time unless her school does things differently. That is usually saved for Parents Weekend.
Search to see if the school posted the agenda of previous year’s opening/registration day. We got to meet the advisor as a group, and there was a parent meeting that was optional. There was a fair at gym, so we got to meet all the teachers briefly as well as sports/music coach/teachers. There was a cocktail hour at 4pm at a place near campus. They want parents leave by then.
We flew the day before for the early AM registration taking school photo, etc. We landed in early afternoon allowing enough time to pick up the online orders at Target and at Bed Bath B for hangers, desk lamp, extension cord, trash bin, mini vacuum, under-bed storage bin, shampoos, fan, etc, the night before registration.
Opening day was definitely for parents at DS school. I think we left at 5pm - when the parents program for the day was over. International students moved in a few days earlier, along with varsity athletes (there was one in DS freshman dorm). Their parents weren’t around, but most others were.
If your schedule and budget permit it, I would recommend attending the opening day - whether or not the school includes a formal program, and despite the fact that you may be returning in a month, or so, for parents weekend.
There is always some way to be helpful to your child in making the transition and making her new room more homey. It may be as simple as a quick trip to Target to pick up a longer extension cord to fix some wall outlet - alarm clock space-planning issues that you could not have anticipated before getting there, or a shopping trip to stock up on small munchies for the dorm. It may be furniture rearranging, such as unbunking or rebunking beds.
Yes- you should go. Plan on running errands for last minute needs, getting her unpacked, meeting advisor and sometimes socialize with other new parents.
I am taking my daughter. As a matter of fact the siblings are going as well. I look forward to helping her fix her room up, unpack (even though she may not want me to). @payn4ward, I googled for the registration & orientation information but the links no longer work :-(. I have already booked my hotels for opening days & parents weekends. Believe it or not some of the hotels are fully booked already.
If its a financial stretch and would leave you in a hole, however, don’t feel obligated. Your daughter won’t be the only one showing up on her own and the school can be notified ahead of time so dorm head, advisor, prefects can assist and oversee her settling in process. For financial or other reasons, attendance isn’t an option for all parents.
Previously-unplanned parental trips for school events can definitely add up as some of those unbudgeted additional expenses of having a child attend boarding school.
@SculptorDad Yup, check the academic calendar and buy the tickets for Thanksgiving and Winter break as soon as reservation opens. (that is, Now… Southwest will open in a couple of weeks but other airlines allow booking one year ahead) During those times, it costs 2-3 times the usual airfare to fly. Watch out for channging Unaccompanied Minor charges. That can add up. Not flying United after they raised mandatory UM fee.
Since I have to buy 3-4 round trip tickets 6-9 months ahead. I am using a travel App (TripCase, I’m sure there are other itinerary organizing apps) to organize all the tickets I bought and the hotels/rental cars I reserved, so as not to buy the tickets/hotels/rental car again (that could happen )
This reminds me to book Thanksgiving/Winter break tickets for DS! Off to kayak, etc.
Given the choice between going to move-in day and a Fall parents weekend, I might choose move-in day. I think the comfort of knowing my kid is in his/her room with everything s/he needs is worth it. Plus, you’ll hopefully get to meet the dorm parents/advisors who will serve as " in loco parentis" for possibly the next four years of your child’s life.
Another tip is that, depending on school/location…the “pre-ordering” of things like box fans, etc. is KEY. Because if you assume, like I did, that the closest Walmart is still going to have a box fan to buy, you will most likely be disappointed. Thankfully, the local Lowe’s had one stinking floor-standing Vornado fan left. And of course, I bought it, despite it being more expensive than a simple box fan. Oh year, and I had to run to Kohl’s because we forgot her pillows at home, too.
If you can swing two trips, I’d opt for move-in and Spring parents weekend…or whatever the school calls it (sometime “Arts Weekend”). Then let her have the responsibility of packing and readying her room for move-out.
When my son was in college, I became the unofficial Facebook parent for parents who were a unable to travel because of distance. I got all kinds of requests. If parents did not hear from their children, I found them on campus and took a picture with them to send to parents. If someone was sick in the infirmary I sent my son to check on them. Parents asked me to purchase a set of sheets so their son would not sleep on the same germy sheets after he was discharged from the infirmary. I also had a house full of international students for holidays. I loved doing this, it kept me busy and made parents happy. The house parents do most of this in boarding school which is great. Luckily my son was in college just an hour away from home. My daughter will be about 4 hours away in boarding school.
I’d go to opening day if possible. It’ll put your mind at ease to see DD settled in at school and to make a couple of personal connections with other parents, including the dorm parents. At our school, the program on that day included parents until about 2:00, and then, after good-byes, there was an event just for the parents (who needed to commiserate with each other!) I think the schools realize that move-in day is stressful for both students and their parents and they try to work out the programming to ease that as much as possible. It could be hard for your DD NOT to have you there if the opening day anticipates parental involvement. I’d also say that if you’re not going to be able to go, you should talk to the school beforehand about anything that they’d expect you to do that day (or recommend you to that day) so that DD isn’t feeling that she’s in an odd position without a parent there.
@payn4ward, Thanks for the tip. It seems Southwest is the cheapest and also fastest to Pennsylvania, in addition to unaccompanied minor up to age 11 only. She has traveled alone and won’t need the service.
I love Southwest. No change fee, No UM fee, and no luggage fee! and the flight attendants sing!
If travel plans change, you can cancel/change with no penalty and use the funds later for one year.
I book trips and check fares from time to time. If fare does go down, I exchange the ticket for the same itinerary but for a lower fare and get the fare difference credited for future use.
What would a move-in day be without Dad (or equivalent - I am so PC) to help with the grunt work, Mom to help with some early room layout and bed-making. Plus, last minute trips to the local stores if something gets forgotten, meeting roommates and other parents, meeting the proctors/prefects, listening to the Head tell you that everything will work out just fine and to stop worrying. It’s also nice to provide a little moral support to one another when you head out the driveway.
Lastly, I always recommend staying at a nice local inn or hotel that night and not rushing back home or to the airport. It’s good to have a glass of wine and work through all the feelings of seeing your child off without being pressed for time.
Since I’m frugal by nature and henceforth will need to be more frugal in the coming years:), I suggest “working” the Southwest Chase card as much as you can. With a little legwork and if timed properly, one can easily attain a companion pass (companion can fly for free) pretty easily by opening credit cards. Yes, I’m a recovering extreme couponer who plans to resume her “habit” to help defray the cost of BS!
Since we stay overnight the night before move-in day, I cannot stay any longer. I always end up driving off and rushing to the aiport after drop-offs – move-in, family weekends, etc.
I do not recommend driving with tears running down face. Dry your tears before hitting the free way.
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