<p>I think part of the confusion may stem from your understanding “I thought the purpose of the on-site visit was to get a first-hand view of the sch and to speak to students.”</p>
<p>This does not exactly square with our experience. Over the years, we have visited many schools, day and boarding, and in every case I can think of, we have been asked to visit for a “tour and interview.” As both a visitor to and a parent of students at such schools, I never have viewed these visits as an open opportunity to investigate things or approach people on my own, but more of a train ride through the school, escorted usually by a student guide, with a meeting in admissions and in some cases with other people we have requested to meet. You’re looking out of the windows and talking with people who have agreed to be part of the tour more than mingling with the townsfolk. We have never approached students other than for directions. If before or after your visit you want to speak to someone or a category of person at the school, contact admissions and ask. If you call and say we would like to speak to a family of our ethnic group, or geography, or child who does x, I think they would be understanding and helpful.</p>
<p>Schools must have current students as their first priority. They don’t have physical gates around them, but more of a virtual buffer. I really would not want an adult stranger approaching my child at school and asking questions, nor would I want their classes interupted by visitors on a regular basis. I realize you are a prospective school parent, but would you want a stranger walking up to your daughter on the street and asking her questions about her experience living where she lives? I wouldn’t. The kids at these schools see lots of visitors, but generally do not go up to them, unless it’s someone they know. I think the same applies from the other direction, especially adults to kids. </p>
<p>I agree that the adcom handled your situation awkwardly, but probably because it was an unusual one for him/her. I would not read any ill will into it. The adcom was probably just making sure you were talking to kids who wanted to talk to visitors and were actually free for a while, in an appropriate place for all. I think this is a school looking out for its students. Isn’t that what you want?</p>
<p>Some schools may welcome, even encourage your mixing with random students. That’s great, but generally I think this is when your child is with you. At most schools, the broader mixing takes place at the revisits for admitted students, when everyone is “on.”</p>