<p>I know I’m not Inquiring mind and I’m a few days late in responding to this thread, but I wanted to once again add my two cents for what it’s worth. While I certainly agree that the adcom in nyc’s situation did not do a great job, I think it’s important for even invited guests to realize that any student attending these schools are there to learn and should be able to enjoy a certain amount of privacy within their world. These kids live in a fishbowl for far too much of their day. It’s an inevitable part of the boarding school experience. Just imagine what it must be like to have even very nice visiting parents coming through your school on a daily basis, peeking into classrooms, walking through dorms, checking out the bathrooms just to have a look, watching kids eat and listening in on their conversations. We must remember that these are kids. They are students trying to learn and enjoy their day and they are absolutely not obligated to even answer questions if they have not volunteered to do so even if it is just in the cafeteria. Of course as parents we want to learn everything we can about a school, but it shouldn’t be at the expense of the students. That’s what revisit days are for. I think it would be nice if new parents could keep this in mind when visiting. Schools have an obligation to their students to keep disruptions to a minimum. It’s not very comfortable to be constantly watched and asked. NYC, we all want what is best for our kids and you’re trying hard to find the right fit. But if every person visiting a school asked questions of kids going about their day, in the end it would really be disruptive. I’m sure you wouldn’t want that for your child either once they are enrolled. Given the same set of circumstances I’m sure I would have had a hard time passing up such a great opportunity, but now that this has been brought out in the open, D’yer’s suggestions might be helpful to you.</p>