<p>I have read with interest many of CC posts which detail a student profile of high standardized test scores, low GPA and disappointing post-high school prospects. My S in an incredibly bright and talented high school freshman who has struggled with being both bored in classes and extreme disorganization. Also difficult family situation (absent father figure) which he is only beginning to understand--this problem has caused him much grief. Also- he did not get official diagnosis of ADD till late 7th grade and has been labeled lazy and criticized by teachers (and myself at times regretably) and we are just now at a REALLY good place emotionally. He is taking ADDERAL and is making Bs and Cs in Honors Classes while every teacher tells me he is by far the brightest student in class.
My question: has anyone had any success in turning a kid like this around? His study skills are non-existant and his lack of organization is a disaster. He is reluctant to keeping a date minder and has a problem with losing things. I am sure this is a familiar story for someone out there. I would like to recommend an AMAZING book for anyone who has a child like this titled "Bright Minds,Poor Grades" by a Dr. Wheatley. It was powerful in getting us where we are now but not quite the right method to get study skills up where they need to be.</p>
<p>First, I love your screen name!!</p>
<p>Second, I have an 8th grader carbon copy of your kid. I will watch for good advice I can use too!</p>
<p>Third, there are schools that have systems set up for LD/ADD. Arizona, Evergreen, and others.</p>
<p>I was thinking a school with block scheduling might be the right sort of place for a disorganized kid. But it my be possible to get him more organized-- have you tried a study period with a learning specialist? I think it can take a few years to turn the organization around. Pleant of non-ADD 14 year old boys are very poorly organized.</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>Your son can certainly be helped a great deal but the effort and cost will be large. In an deal situation, this child would be sent to a school that has expertise in helping ADD kids. Most urban areas have them and there are boarding situations. Even with the best intentions, 99% of public schools can't meet the needs of a child that was not caught at an earlier age. There are also summer prigrams you might consider. If you want details, PM me.</p>
<p>SBMom- glad you liked the screen name- if you only knew the truth-teehee. Thanks for the encouragement. My son was at the National Spelling Bee twice (26th place last year) with little prep. Plays 5 instruments, has turned around a poor attitude to a really nice one but that is not helping in school. Zagat- unfortunately I am barely getting by $$$wise and getting ready to send D off to school in 2007. She is very bright AND hard working and should be rewarded accordingly. Her success has been a tough act to follow for S. I was looking for more of a $19.95 cure with a money back guarantee :) tee hee. Seriously, I dearly love this kid and he deserves a shot at a great post-high school education but is unlikely to get it unless some big GPA changes occur.</p>
<p>SBMom- I swear by the book Bright Minds, Poor Grades---even the counselor we have seen is recommending it to her patients like my S and is thinking of starting a support group/parent group that will practice ideas from the book. It is available on amazon</p>
<p>Your child sounds interesting and engaging and many schools will be intrigued by his story and progress. If you go to the college section of any of the large book chains there are entire books listing colleges that are either geared toward kids with ADD and/or LD or have support programs for their needs. So check it out to inspire hope. Our S is a Freshman at BU, no he isn't like youir child, and its not a school where you would think there would be an environment for them, challenging academics and all, however, I noted that they have a full week orientation a week before the semester starts for students with special needs like ADD. It looks like a robust program that includes a coaching process on how they can advocate for themselves. There are manytypes of schools...gosh...look at the Bard profile...so kids can find a place for themselves either with like minded souls or maybe as the kid who brings learning style diversity to a school that can use a little mixing up. Relax. It will work out.</p>
<p>dogs- thankyouthankyouthankyou- My D wants to look at BU. Are things going well for your S.</p>
<p>Kids with ADD need organizational coaching, in addition to the meds (if prescribed). There are people who can do it for you, but if $$ aren't there, you can do it yourself....it's very commonsensical stuff, but it does mean going through the bookbag regularly, reading assignment sheets, establishing time goals, etc. Does your son have a written program in place--An IEP or a 504? If not, you might want to review it with your school. Things that we found helpful: An advance weekly list of assignments, in writing; Emailing completed homework to the teacher (so much of our problem was a kid doing the homework, but forgetting to turn it in.) Use of a computer for written in-class work, if handwriting is an issue that affects quality of output.</p>
<p>Yes..he is my overachieving one and is in the BU Homors Program with the half tuition merit scholrship. He chose it over two more competetive schools because he wanted an urban campus but not too urban, etc. My view of the quintissential college experience was a small LAC with an enclosed bucolic campus. I finally got passed that and was able to let go of my vision in deference to his when I realized if I could do my youth over again I'd love the opportunity to live and study in a city environment. BTW one of our closest frends had ADD at a time when no one knew it and he dropped out of HS in the early 70s. Now he is a super successful entrepeneur with 20 employees and several unique businesses plus a lovely family and a zest for learning and life. Is your D a Junior this year?</p>
<p>My son is most interested in "big ideas" and less in the minutae. I was thinking he might like St Johns or a similar school that is very intellectual w/out being pressure cooker/ HYPS.</p>
<p>dogs- my D is a junior. Her Latin instructor has a D that goes to BU and this teacher has pitched the school to my D on a regular basis. Money will likely be the unfortunate limit to my Ds college choices. She has outstanding grades, will likely miss the NMSF score by one or two points and the EC list on her vitae is ongoing. She actually loves learning and every single activity she participates in ---she is not just out there building a resume. She has also helps raise her 2 younger brothers-does so with an unbelievable attitude-they love her. She deserves to go wherever her heart desires imo but I know there are a lot of deserving kids out there. There is likely no college app that asks for "at home responsibilities."</p>
<p>driver- I have looked into both 504 and IEP for my S and at this time his teachers feel that his grades aren't a problem and they have been emailing me with updates -re:missed assignments, etc. Good team of teachers.</p>
<p>If she is missing it by two points she will likley meet criteria for a half or full merit scholarship at BU or some other top schools. Start searching around various school web sites for ones that offer merit aid. They usually give a profile of the range of stats for those who are offered such $ and these schools rarely require anything to apply beyond the normal application.</p>
<p>driver- I have looked into both 504 and IEP for my S and at this time his teachers feel that his grades aren't a problem and they have been emailing me with updates -re:missed assignments, etc. Good team of teachers. S needs to try to hold up his end of the workload. He and I have a long history of power struggles regarding my involvement in his schoolwork--we are actually in a very good place--but like most teens he does not want a parent to micromanage his work.</p>
<p>dogs- Thank you! I am new to this process and appreciate any help.</p>
<p>I have a similar D; an amazing big sister. I believe she'd get a 5 in "AP Big Sister" -- it is practically "hook" level she's so unique!</p>
<p>IMO it is like a job or an EC when it is a real responsibility, done well. There is room for it on the app.</p>
<p>(1) you can put it under ECs (babysitting my 2 siblings, X hrs/week) because they ask how you spend your time, not just official clubs etc. </p>
<p>(2) You can put it under "Additional Information" : "In addition to other ECs, I am primary caregiver for 2 brothers X hours/week."</p>
<p>(3) You can use it as the subject of an essay. Might be a great essay.</p>
<p>SBmom-thanks-great ideas! sorry about this "thread within a thread" everyone.</p>
<p>driver-do you have a child with ADD or do you have experience with this as an educator?</p>
<p>Yes, my son, currently a sophomore in HS, has ADD.</p>
<p>The power struggle with parents is one of the reasons that an outside coach is so important. We had the same problem, but were able to spring for coach who gave superb assistance and guidance. Son would listen to him, where he wouldn't listen to us. An IEP would put the onus on the school to help with additional coaching instead of just notifying you of your son's failures (although this is also important). I guarantee that he feels lousy about "not holding up his end of the workload." He just doesn't know what to do about it, or doesn't have the discipline yet to deal with it. If your son has a diagnosis of ADD by a qualified person (and if he's getting medication, I assume he does), then your public school has a legal obligation to put an Individualized Education Plan in place for him, and you are entitled to significant input. Perhaps the book you referenced has a list of advocacy sources that could help you get more from the school? If not, you might try this website:
<a href="http://www.ldonline.org/finding_help/parent_advocacy.html%5B/url%5D">http://www.ldonline.org/finding_help/parent_advocacy.html</a></p>
<p>If your teachers are telling you that your son is clearly underachieving, but that it's not a problem at this time, that sounds like trouble to me. Why do they think that's acceptable?</p>
<p>Schools will always discourage IEPs as the outcome is always expensive for them but you will do your son a diservice by not having one. You need to read up on 504 and special ed laws in general (your State laws in particular), many accomodations can be made for your son and tutors and therapists can be paid for by your school districts. Unfortunately, most ADD kids do not just catch up and acquire the skills to succeed on their own. A thoughtful IEP will address things such as where your child sits in the classroom, how he learns best and how teachers should teach him, what environment he needs to be in to do well on tests and so much more. </p>
<p>Freshman year is an ideal time to make sure the school is doing the utmost to ensure his success. Good luck!</p>