<p>son will be entering college and am concerned with the social component of college life, i.e.
drinking, relationships. he doesn't need a program, but will need some kind of support. He has lived away from home in a summer pre-college setting, that was pretty supervised, yet some independence.</p>
<p>Any ideas if this can be handled by the schools mental health clinics, or do we seek private therapists. he has been accepted to geneseo, binghamton, tcnj, american and still are not sure the best fit. any suggestions of knowledge of these schools and there disability departments would be appreciated.</p>
<p>I’m in no position to compare their disability departments, but a first-impression intuitive reply to your list is that Geneseo, which is rural and the honors academic college for SUNY, might offer a higher percentage of peers that are serious, so that he doesn’t have to sift through thousands to figure out who is a worthwhile person with a priority on academics. Since one of the issues of Aspergers (I have a nephew) is difficulty understanding the motivations or Point of View of other people, it seems to me that an environment where a large percentage of student body is seriously-intentioned will increase his odds of finding like-minded peers.</p>
<p>LOL, if predictability is helpful, you can count on both Binghamton and Geneseo to be rural, snowy and cold. Less distraction factor. There might be merit to getting your son out of the suburban/urban rush-around atmosphere which I imagine accompanies TCNJ or American. </p>
<p>Of course you also want to balance that with some adult guidance, and that’s where I don’t know how to evaluate what Geneseo can offer. Perhaps a case can be made that a larger institution with wider range of student lifestyles is better IF it’s accompanied by a stronger program of adult guidance.</p>
<p>He’ll be spending most of his time in the company of peers, no matter what. My intuition would be to send him to where he has the greatest chance of fewest issues throughout each day to sift out.</p>
<p>Perhaps with Geneseo and private therapy you’d have an ideal blend if you’re not satisfied with Geneseo’s mental health support provided to campus.</p>
<p>Going back to my nephew, I know that for him Small is Beautiful and he can’t be expected to thrive in situations where the numbers of people are overwhelming and confusing. I’ve also seen good, thoughtful college mates become protective of dorm-mates with Aspergers, understanding their issues and seeing their merits. Wouldn’t that be nice for your son. I hope for the best for him and you, wherever he goes.</p>
<p>thanks for your reply. I agree that an atmosphere with the least amount of stress makes sense. Smaller schools have there advantages and disadvantages. they can be limited by the number of people u can connect with and the amount of activities going on. there is no where to escape. in a big university there usually more doing, and a variety of different students from various places. we will visit both and try to get a feel.</p>
<p>Important factors for my son, now a senior (and transfer student):
<em>**Size He used to say he wanted to go to a BIG school, and I interpreted that as a large student body. He was totally fixated on BIG school. I thought, since he went to a relatively large HS and made friends there, much more so than his smaller elementary school, that he wanted lots of diversity. Turned out, he really didn’t want a hugely popular school. He wanted a large campus, where he could get away from hordes of people.
*</em><em>**distance from home ** We thought it would be healthy break to get him away from the competitive environment where we live. HA! He never made any friends at his first school and his depression totally set him into a downward spiral.
*</em>*help with transitions First school never, never understood my son. Paying for special services meant he’d get what he needed, which he did. (No one likes to have to pay anything extra, but for our son, it was priceless to have an advocate. Support services to get through that first semester was very helpful.</p>
<p>Finally, we found a small LAC near us. They offered special academic support, which he needed in the beginning. Transitions are always hard. But soon he’d get annoyed his classes were much more advanced, so they couldn’t help him. That was fine though. He got off to a good start.</p>
<p>“thanks for your reply. I agree that an atmosphere with the least amount of stress makes sense. Smaller schools have there advantages and disadvantages. they can be limited by the number of people u can connect with and the amount of activities going on. there is no where to escape. in a big university there usually more doing, and a variety of different students from various places. we will visit both and try to get a feel.”</p>
<p>This is the reason why I like my big school, I go to Umich and purposefully chose a big school having attended a large (6000+) high school and appreciating it. Nobody ever bullied me at the big high school and it was easier to find my niche. I do love that I go to a big school, but I didn’t start making friends until my 6th month here when I started to figure out what “make the campus small” meant, as they kept saying it at orientation. If you choose a big school it is important that the aspie in question know how to “make the campus small,” as it is impossible to go out and try and make friends with all 35,000 students at once and get anywhere, you need to create smaller communities for yourself. I am moving into a teeny tiny dorm next year and I started a small club with the help of the disabilities office and now I am making a lot more progress, but I had a lot of long lonely months while I figured out what to do. If your aspie would struggle unduly with that process you may want to consider a smaller school.</p>
<p>The disability services function at American is strong, and I think it would be helpful for you to call and discuss your son’s needs. He won’t be their first Aspergers student, and, unlike the admissions office, I don’t think they’ll be focused on painting a rosy picture to sell the school to you.</p>
<p>I went to the info. session at American University. One thing to really think about is the dorm situation. The presenter said some of the rooms are now triples. I have concerns about an Aspergers student being in a crowded housing situation and is better off, at least the first semester, in a single room. American U. is a great place for kids who are interested in politics and government. If your child really wants AU, make sure the housing situation will be comfortable before sending him off to an expensive private school. For Aspergers, the most important thing is academic fit because these kids have special interests and will thrive in a school which has a program that matches the special interests. Second, see if there are any small clubs and/or extra curriculars which also match interests to find friends.</p>
<p>thanks for your suggestions. at the moment although American might be a good match,
he didn’t receive any merit aid, so that will put it lower on our list at $52,000 a
year.</p>
<p>I don’t think American is worth $52,000. a year. If your child wants proximity to D.C., you might want to consider George Mason U. which has an Asperger’s support program and costs less than $52,000 a year out of state. Although the Asperger’s support sounds excellent, we did not like the dorm situation at George Mason and hence, my son is not applying there.</p>
<p>I agree that a triple would not be in the best interest of an asperger student. we plan on requesting a medical single, but this is not the easiest to come by at many schools and you don’t find out until it’s too late.</p>
<p>I worry about a stigma attached if a student is in a medical single. I think it is better to try to find housing where singles are plentiful and not just reserved for medical needs, disabilities, etc. This is one reason I really like U.Texas at Dallas–everyone gets a private bedroom meaning no stigma, waiting to see if you get a single, etc. I suggest you see if any of the colleges/universities on your list have plentiful guaranteed single rooms.</p>
<p>*I worry about a stigma attached if a student is in a medical single. *</p>
<p>I know that others have mentioned this possibility, but is this really a possible problem? </p>
<p>Who would attach the stigma? The school? I doubt one hand would know what the other hand is doing (meaning that his major dept would have no idea that a child is in a medical single nor would they care.) The other kids? The bigger question would be…would other kids care enough to notice, ask, etc? I don’t know. I’ve known kids to have medical singles for Crohn’s Disease and other medical issues and they haven’t shared that with others. I think, if asked, a student could just say, I have a medical issue. Period. Most kids are too polite to ask for more info at that point. And, if someone does pry, a flat answer such as, It’s personal, should suffice.</p>
<p>That said, I think many kids would just assume that the student’s parents were generous to pay extra for a private room. It’s not like there is a sign outside the door that says, Medical Single. Thoughts?</p>
<p>^^ I agree, a medical single isn’t different from a regular single in anyway, it’s not marked or anything. If your son doesn’t want to disclose that he has asperger’s then he doesn’t have to. He can just say he lucked out. Mostly kids will be impressed and want to hang out in there a lot.</p>
<p>My son was not diagnosed with Asp., and it was not an issue for us in school choice. Tho I had concerns, his ‘symptoms’ were masked by his extraordinary long-time best friend who cheerfully guided son through all social situations, and by the positive vibes he always got from his peers (he’s quite good-looking, very sweet and funny). </p>
<p>I even made it a point to not call son for the first few weeks of college (we’re not supposed to, right?). He was in marching/jazz bands - how could he <em>not</em> make friends? </p>
<p>But his roommate (fairly large 3rd tier public) turned out to be ‘anti-social’ (so he said); they barely spoke to each other from day 1. Son told me that several others reached out to him and were nice to him, but he was too confused to respond. He is now a sophomore there, and has no friends. He seems resigned to it, and is not terribly unhappy.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why one would fear being stigmatized for having a single room. No one will care. He won’t be the only student living in a single. This fear of being stigmatized for having a single room should be a non-issue–the other students have more important things to concern themselves with in regards to their own transition into college.</p>
<p>with all the academic and social pressures of college, a single room could be a quiet oasis where they can be themselves, and feel less stress. I think a room mate would eventually get fed up. I even read about someone with aspergers who is married, and finds it better for their relationship to sleep in separate rooms! (because of different work,sleep, schedules and neatness issues)</p>
<p>Single room is KEY, and I agree there is no stigma, although my S attends a school with 50% single rooms. Having a reliable place to de-stress is very, very important.
My S with AS goes to a small LAC without an “AS Support Program” but what AS kid wants a lot of attention? He met with Disability Services, got letters, and met with each of his professors the first semester. He really only needed use of his smart pen and time accommodations in one course. He has chosen not to ask for accommodations his second semester, and that is his prerogative. He made Dean’s List the first semester, so more power to him!
My S managed his own time and kept his room neat before college, enjoyed spending time alone before college, had no interest in being part of a big group of friends before college, loved studying in his area of interest before college. Nothing has changed. Careful not to expect a different kid just because they are in a different environment.</p>
<p>My daughter will be getting a medical single and she does not have Asperger’s. It fact, it will simply be because she has severe headaches (she had one non-stop for seven months) and also suffers from insomnia and needs to modify her room for both (no light from windows, no smells, cover up all lights on electronics, put towels or blankets under door cracks to limit lights). I don’t see why having a single would mean anything bad.</p>
<p>I know kids in medical singles for issues as varied as peanut allergy, chronic fatigue, and persistent insomnia. Nobody cares. The stigma is a non-issue from what I have observed.</p>