<p>What a brave young lady.</p>
<p>Their “treatment” towards her makes me ill.</p>
<p>There was a police investigation going on in my son’s high school this year over a rape report. if some person reported it to an administrator of a college, a business any establishment that person needs to pick up the phone and call the police. Deal with whatever workplace or institution infraction later…it’s a crime.</p>
<p>[Sexual</a> Assault on Campus | The Center for Public Integrity](<a href=“http://www.publicintegrity.org/accountability/education/sexual-assault-campus]Sexual”>http://www.publicintegrity.org/accountability/education/sexual-assault-campus)</p>
<p>It’s a huge problem, for sure. But, I think we are reaching a tipping point. Or, at least, I hope so, anyway.</p>
<p>I was raped twice before I was 21, by casual acquaintances that I had no reason not to trust. Going to the police was the furthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to go home and scrub myself & hide away.</p>
<p>During the 70s, media coverage of rapes blamed the victim. I didnt see any reason to subject myself to another invasion.</p>
<p>I am very sorry to hear that EK. I pray that nothing like this ever happens to my daughter, but if I does, I would urge her to call the local police. It looks like colleges in general do a very poor job of protecting students against sexual assault on campus.</p>
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<p>Of course, with a topic like this, there are now several parallel threads running. Interesting post [url=<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/14951559-post8.html]here[/url”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/14951559-post8.html]here[/url</a>] about a school that apparently does have a good policy in place…</p>
<p>^^that school is lucky the boy’s parents didn’t sue. This is why the police and the prosecutor’s office are involved…to protect the rights of BOTH parties. Colleges should not be in the business of prosecution of crimes…but there is an extremely long thread about this topic from earlier this year.</p>
<p>A close friend of mine was raped (date rape) during college (though not by a student). We (me and other close friends) encouraged her to report it, but she was just too hurt and ashamed. I think battling the sense of shame from the rape victim is paramount in getting women (and men, for that matter!) to report rapes. And the key to that, IMO, is getting to the stage where no one makes those stupid “what was she wearing / why was she out after dark / she should have known not to be alone with him” remarks after hearing about a rape. (And in the case of men, the stupid “If he was a REAL MAN he could have fought them off” remarks. Ugh.)</p>
<p>I’ve also noticed there is “auto-doubt” when a woman has been raped. “How do we know she’s not LYING??” Well, if someone says, “I have been mugged” then no one actually knows if that is true either, maybe they are just making it up for attention or spent the money on drink, blah blah blah, but for some reason “I have been mugged” does not receive the same level of skepticism as “I have been raped”.</p>
<p>Wow, that is a little scary! The boy and girl in question had a sexual relationship, both were drinking and the next day the girl reports being raped and the boy is expelled because he admitted they had both been drinking, therefore she could not give consent. Obviously he chose to attend this school, hopefully fully aware of this policy, but it seems wrong to me. Why is the boy expected to behave in a responsible manner, but not the girl. I would not want my son to attend a school with this policy. I have talked to both my kids from a fairly young age about responsible behavior, respect for others with regards to dating and sex. But I strongly believe my daughter has as much responsibility for not putting herself in a compromising situation as my son does. She is a college sophomore and I never, ever miss an opportunity to reinforce this point with her. At what point is someone too drunk to give consent? And who is it that decides this? Especially the next day! I would feel very differently if the girl reported it that night and someone was able to assess her state at the time. But this just seems wrong to me.</p>
<p>Editing after reading what was posted while I was typing. By compromising position, I don’t mean what she was wearing, what time of day it was, etc. What I do mean is compromising her judgement by alcohol or drug use. She has complete control over what she chooses to ingest and has been warned to never drink anything that has not been in her possession the entire time. Will this insure that nothing bad will ever happen to her, of course not. But I do believe it will minimize the risk.</p>
<p>A voice of reason, perhaps unpopular, following the Jezebel article:</p>
<p>“Until I get at least one more account of a similar case where the Amherst administration completely botched the “healing” side of this process (really not much they could have done about the actually rape charge) I am going to hesitate before storming there with torches and pitchforks and start looking at this as an isolated case. Everyone says that the culture needs to change, but to generalize a single persons account to every other rape case, and I’m sure that the Amherst administration has faced MANY sexual assault cases in its time, is an idealist judgement. Amherst does not condone sexual assault or promote that rape culture, nor any legitimate College/University. I know this is not going to be a well received comment but I hope that however response can do so in a level-headed way.”</p>
<p>“I would also add, this is still an alleged assault so as an administrator you have to remain impartial (he’s as much of a student as her until proven otherwise). By waiting until February, which I can understand, puts Administrators in a tough place where they know that it’s unlikely she will be able to prove what she is alleging and she was emotionally distraught and unstable. From the looks of it they tried (miserably) to keep tabs on her progress which in this case made things worse, but that could easily be a specific response from her and not the way other victims experience their healing process.”</p>
<p>Because of the stigma against the victim that I feel still exists, I would tend to believe someone who reported being raped.
If two people are equally under the influence they probably shouldn’t be having sex at all.
But what would be the motivation for someone to accuse her former boyfriend of rape, if she had consented?</p>
<p>Perhaps if we drew the line & actually took it more seriously, we would be quicker to act, at least to protect our most vulnerable citizens.
</p>
<p>[Repeat</a> violations threaten shut down of 13 state run group homes | KING5.com Seattle](<a href=“http://www.king5.com/news/investigators/Repeat-violations-threaten-shut-down-of-group-of-state-run-group-homes-174864591.html]Repeat”>http://www.king5.com/news/investigators/Repeat-violations-threaten-shut-down-of-group-of-state-run-group-homes-174864591.html)</p>
<p>ek and Naturally - you might think about heading over to the other thread on this topic (A Harrowing Tale of Sexual Assault at Amherst College) to talk about your personal experience. Some people over there seem to think that it if a rape victim doesn’t go to the police, then a fair amount of blame should be cast upon her. Oy.</p>
<p>momcat, you are completely misrepresenting the desire of some of us to see rapists prosecuted and women protected. </p>
<p>Oy indeed.</p>
<p>Someone posted “Of course, with a topic like this, there are now several parallel threads running. Interesting post here about a school that apparently does have a good policy in place.”</p>
<p>I am curious why you would think this is a GOOD policy. What is good about assuming that a man in 100% to blame when a drunken sexual encounter takes place? I have to go see what my son’s school’s policy is with respect to this. I would not want him in a place where a simple drunken sexual encounter could get him thrown out of school and possibly tainted with a sex offender title.</p>
<p>In the original story that spawned this thread we have to be careful not to make the young woman in question into a hero. She is not a hero. She did not do what she needed to do after a crime was committed and much of her mental health deterioration is due to the fact that SHE did not do the things she should have done to ensure that justice was done. That is not Amherst’s fault. </p>
<p>I do not condone some of the actions of Amherst, but some of the mental health issues might have been avoidable had the woman actually spoken up. There are many posts on this thread lauding her for speaking up, but she didn’t speak up when she should have.</p>
<p>My heart breaks for her but please make sure your own daughters know that there are mental health repercussions associated with NOT reporting a sexual assault as soon as it occurs. The fact that the man in question cannot be prosecuted for a crime he committed lies at his victim’s feet. It is not her fault that he assaulted her but she does bear some responsibility for it being impossible for him to be prosecuted.</p>
<p>Momcat2-the victim is not responsible for the rape. Obviously, she did not wish this upon her. However, it is her responsibility to report the crime if she wants it to be prosecuted. A person cannot be sent to jail with just a report by a victim months or years after the event. It needs to be investigated immediately. And for that (and ONLY that) she does bear responsibility.</p>
<p>Everyone has obligations when a crime or act of violence or harassment is committed. In this particular case the blogger places the blame on the college, but ultimately she did not fulfill her obligation to report to anyone in a position to help her which could have changed the trajectory of course of events. Hopefully continued therapy will help her and I feel for her that there was no friend to get her through the days following the initial incident and help her understand the importance of telling someone.</p>
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<p>I haven’t read the policy (and don’t even know what school it is), but I didn’t understand it as placing the blame on the man, necessarily . . . but rather on whichever individual initiated contact that the other person later complained about. Bottom line is that if your partner is under the influence, exercise caution, whatever gender you are.</p>
<p>So if two drunk students have sex would a male be wise to proactively report the event and claim that he was too drunk to consent so he wants the women investigated?</p>
<p>Is the drunk defense aplicable to both parties. What happens in a same sex relationship?</p>
<p>^^No institution is going to adopt such Draconian principles that any situation of he said and she said would not require great due diligence before issuing punitive recommendations. If the situation were clear, it would be in the institution’s legal interest to turn it over to the police.</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/14951559-post8.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/14951559-post8.html</a></p>
<p>This is the post that someone referred to above. I fail to see how this is a GOOD policy.</p>