<p>^^I got slammed for that opinion on a different thread a number of days ago, but I believe that forced sex is a crime. If it’s a crime then reporting it to the police begins a process of investigation, creates documentations, substantiates anything the student tells the college and frankly adds a ton of credibility to the claim. The fact that prosecutor’s often don’t want to prosecute is unfortunate, but the student still has the avenues through the college open - to mediation, to therapy, to a judicial council etc.</p>
<p>I was sexually assaulted when I was in junior high, by other students on campus, after school. I was waiting for the activity bus.
The school was locked, I told my mother who told the school. I remember talking to the counselor at the school about it, but to my knowledge nothing was done.
I was meant to feel like I was to blame somehow.</p>
<p>Probably why when I was raped a few years later i didn’t bother reporting it.
Why be assaulted twice?</p>
<p>I’m very sorry your were sexually assaulted and raped, emeraldkity4. I cannot imagine the trauma, especially for a young woman. As a survivor of these incidents, you are in a good position to say why reporting the crimes is so difficult. I wonder, though, what are your thoughts about the need for more reporting? And what would have to happen to make more people report rape when it occurs?</p>
<p>I think these articles might help shed some light on the subject:
<a href=“http://www.uky.edu/CRVAW/files/TopTen/01_Needs_of_Rape_Survivors.pdf[/url]”>http://www.uky.edu/CRVAW/files/TopTen/01_Needs_of_Rape_Survivors.pdf</a></p>
<p>[Rape</a> Myths and Facts | Roger Williams University](<a href=“http://rwu.edu/campus-life/health-counseling/counseling-center/sexual-assault/rape-myths-and-fac]Rape”>http://rwu.edu/campus-life/health-counseling/counseling-center/sexual-assault/rape-myths-and-fac)</p>
<p>Now, I tried to post a hypothetical about rape before and it was twisted into something I did not intend. In my example, the young woman accepted a third date. On my mythical college campus, accepting a third date was viewed as consenting to sex. The young woman didn’t know this; the young man just assumed she did.</p>
<p>You will see that in the second article it states that a survey in 1985 showed that 25% of all young men thought that if they invited a young woman out and paid for the date, they were entitled to sex. They also thought that a woman who agreed to go back to their room had consented to sex. I don’t know if these attitudes have changed in the intervening years; I doubt it.</p>
<p>I don’t think I have to portray all of these young men as monsters. I think many of them genuinely and sincerely believe that a young woman who goes back to their rooms has agreed to have sex. They proceed with sex based on the assumption that the woman has agreed. </p>
<p>How can we change the culture? I think we teach both our sons and our daughters that they have to talk to each other about it before they have sex. I don’t mean the solution one LAC proposed, which had the male partner stopping and asking for consent each step of the way , “May I kiss you?” “May I used my tongue?” " May I…" No, I mean they would talk about it in advance. The young man who invited a young woman back to his room would say outright what his expectations were if she accepted. </p>
<p>I know this sounds very unromantic. It won’t stop the guys who are intent on raping. However, I think it would drastically reduce the number of cases in which he says sex was consensual and she says it wasn’t.</p>
<p>when I ws initially assaulted it was the early 70’s, the womens rights movement was starting to become more widespread, but it’s my impression there was also pushback in more conservative suburban communities like where i grew up.</p>
<p>Having womens centers in colleges and health centers in high schools hopefully give girls an easily accessible resource for support, not only to get support to go through the ordeal of seeking justice and healing afterwards, but to have a place to find their power.
it would have been helpful for me to have had a resource like a self defense class, & a discussion group about how to deal with body changes, especially for those whose parents arent comfortable discussing it.
( I matured very quickly- practically overnight, and it was quite a source of fascination for the boys, but it was horrible for me.)</p>
<p>i was extremely shy, and vulnerable. That experience made me feel even more that i didnt have control over what happened to me, and it took a long time before i could accept I didnt deserve it.</p>
<p>one thing i thought was interesting however, was when i was at a formal social function about fifteen years later. one of the men who had assaulted me approached the group I was with and greeted me like we were old friends! i was horrified and did not stop my impulse to flee.
He was always a BMOC type, and I think he had convinced himself that any attention he gave to anyone was positively recieved.</p>
<p>i</p>
<p>That is terrible emeraldkity. I am so sorry that those awful things happened to you, especially when you were so young. I hope you get another chance to meet that man who assaulted you, with more warning this time…and have the opportunity to loudly say what he did to you, in front of his wife (hopefully while pouring a drink over his head).</p>
<p>I know that was a different time in our history, but I am convinced that right now, one is better off reporting to the police than to the school. No matter what they say, I suspect it is unlikely that the top priority of school administrators is the welfare of the victim. It is very possible that the schools would like the problem to go away, disappear, not reflect on the reputation on the school, and they don’t have to tools to professionally investigate a rape anyways. I can’t say that would have helped you so many years ago though. I hope things are different now.</p>
<p>EK: I am so sorry.</p>
<p>Many recent articles address why young women don’t necessarily report sexual assault, rape today. Here’s one:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[Campus</a> rape culture goes well beyond Jerry Sandusky | PennLive.com](<a href=“http://www.pennlive.com/editorials/index.ssf/2012/08/issue_of_silence_and_under-rep.html]Campus”>Campus rape culture goes well beyond Jerry Sandusky - pennlive.com)</p>
<p>a few more:</p>
<p>[Avery</a> Stone: The Death of Innocence at Amherst College](<a href=“The Death of Innocence at Amherst College | HuffPost College”>The Death of Innocence at Amherst College | HuffPost College)</p>
<p>[Pervasive</a> rape culture in college administrations: Amherst College edition <em>TRIGGER WARNING</em> Smith’d](<a href=“http://smithd.org/2012/10/17/pervasive-rape-culture-in-college-administrations-amherst-college-edition-trigger-warning/]Pervasive”>http://smithd.org/2012/10/17/pervasive-rape-culture-in-college-administrations-amherst-college-edition-trigger-warning/)</p>
<p><a href=“http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2012/07/17/nice-guys-contribute-to-rape-culture/[/url]”>http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2012/07/17/nice-guys-contribute-to-rape-culture/</a></p>
<p>I am wondering how we empower young women so that they don’t hesitate to report rape. How does the campus culture illustrated below impact college women? Why do women allow this? Or is it all just harmless? </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[Offensive</a> T-shirt sparks criticism against Amherst | Cross Campus | Yale Daily News](<a href=“http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/2012/oct/23/offensive-t-shirt-sparks-criticism-against-amherst/?cross-campus]Offensive”>http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/2012/oct/23/offensive-t-shirt-sparks-criticism-against-amherst/?cross-campus)</p>
<p>Of course, Yale has had their own issues with a hostile campus environment. If one believes such a thing exists.</p>
<p>edit: and of course I can’t link to all the politicians who, in recent hours, days, weeks, months, have had something to say about rape. That goes beyond campus culture.</p>
<p>I believe in karma, & believe that the universe will bite back without me having to get involved. But I appreciate the good thoughts. :)</p>
<p>I hope that with more women in the police force that things have changed. However locally we seem to have a preponderance of people joining the force who seem to be attracted to the power behind the uniform, not because they want to help the community. Although yesterday the mayor has reluctantly agreed to consider an independent monitor to oversee reforms in the police force.</p>
<p>In our local school district, employees have been apparently instructed to handle reports of crimes by reporting internally, not to the police.</p>
<p>School districts are not set up to investigate rapes and assaults, any more than universities are. </p>
<p>I think we need to incorporate teaching citizenship and about individual rights, not as late as in high school with American government, but earlier possibly as part of US history or health in middle school or earlier.
When I was in school, the only health related curriculum i remember is one morning in 6th gd, the girls watched a film strip ( that never mentioned sex) on menstruation while the boys had recess, and it was reversed in the afternoon with a film for the boys.
Big change when my kids were in school & the whole class watched together, a movie on giving birth!
:eek:
( you show that at the right age & they will have second thoughts about ever having sex for a looong time) ;)</p>
<p>Children should know of the importance of being involved with their community, the rights & responsibilities of every citizen, including the importance of being an informed voter, to learning that they have the right to say no when someone is hurting or neglecting them.</p>
<p>It may seem like common sense, but even my parents who weren’t abusive, but just wrapped up in their own problems weren’t able to communicate that to me.</p>
<p>It’s so much better now though I think, both boys and girls are raised with stories like
[The</a> Paperbag Princess.](<a href=“YouTube”>YouTube), to supplement things like I dream of Jeannie.</p>
<p>EK-- just got home from work, wanted to send you cyberhugs. so sorry you faced that, and when you were so young.</p>
<p>EK - Another big hug here, it must be painful sometimes when everyone goes back and forth on these threads.</p>
<p>Thanks again. <B
I am more than half a century old now& it seemed like it happened to a different person. Although I do think my life would have been different/better, if it had never happened at all.
It’s only now looking back that I understand how much pain I bore.</p>
<p>But humans can be very resilient, [and not just humans!](<a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost) and I have the pleasure now of knowing two strong & opinionated women who happen to be related to me!</p>