My son has been admitted to 3 schools, including the one he loved madly from the moment he saw it. They’ve all given him approximately equal merit aid. He’s going to visit his madly loved school next week for an overnight and class visits. I figured if he came away from that visit feeling confident that it was indeed the place for him, we could finish discussing the pros and cons of each school and just send in the deposit. But now my husband wants him to visit at least one other school just to be super, extra sure of his decision. My husband wants to be sure that DS is picking his school because it’s really, truly the right one, rather than him just being tired of the whole process. It seems like a waste of money and energy to me, when DS feels so strongly about his first choice. I have zero qualms about any of his options, they are all good and each have something special about them so I’m really not invested in one over the other.
Did anyone’s student change his/her mind after a great admitted student visit, even if he/she was absolutely sure of another school? My son is really looking forward to his visit next week and really doesn’t want to visit any others. Since he’s been on this school’s bandwagon for the past 11 months, I’m inclined to let it be finished if the visit goes well. But I can sort of see my husband’s point as well. Thoughts?
I have a son who was only interested in attending one school and would not visit any others. He attended and was happy with his decision. Does your son change his mind about other things? I am with you; if he visits and is happy I would feel he was finished!
My daughter loved a school (we had visited twice before) and then changed her mind completely after admitted students day. If he loves the school after this visit go for it - if not plan to visit the others.
OP, from some of your other replies, it looks like you visited a number of campuses with your son before he submitted his applications. In that case, if his admitted student’s visit goes well at his top choice school, I’d say just go for it, as well.
BTW, some posters on other threads have indicated that “admitted students” days at some (but definitely not at all) schools don’t vary greatly from regular open houses. He should maybe be a bit prepared for that, if it is the case at the school that he loves. Good luck!
Freshman in college here. I got into my top choice school with a full-tuition scholarship. I knew everything about the school and was sure I wanted to go (it has great music, math, and CS). However, the week after I received my acceptance, I had a trip to my second choice school as a finalist for a scholarship to do the live audition (I didn’t even want to go!), and fell in love with the school and the atmosphere (even though its math, music, and CS aren’t as strong). After I got the full-tuition scholarship, I visited my top choice once again and realized I really didn’t like the atmosphere and the size of the school. So here I am now, attending my “second choice”.
If you have the money for the trips and can afford whichever school he picks, I’d let him visit other campuses. That way, if he does change his mind later on he’ll be more informed about his other options.
See how he feels after the visit to his top choice school. If he still loves it, I’d send in the deposit, buy him a school sweatshirt and be done. If he leaves the visit with any doubts then I’d definitely have him visit the other two schools.
However, if your H keeps insisting that your S visit to a second school (and if he is a stubborn as my H can be) , I’d tell your S to do one move visit to appease his dad after which he will be free to send a deposit in to the school he loves.
Congrats his getting into his top choice college. I hope he has a great experience.
There is no rush to send in the deposit, is there? Lots can change between now and May 1. I would let your son visit this top choice next week. Then let it go. Let HIM think about it…no discussion yet. Maybe a couple of weeks after his return, ask if he would like to visit anywhere else. Then let that go.
He might decide in a month,or even at the beginning of April…that another visit is what he wants to do. And then again…he might not.
DD took admitted student visits to her dream school and two others. In the end she stayed with her dream school, but she had a positive experience at all three and the other two made it very close.
She had her dream school envisioned as so perfect that it could not live up to that image. Even though she did not change her mind, I thought there was a big benefit to her establishing more realistic expectations. Now she has been there for a semester and is very happy.
S2 applied to two state u’s. The acceptance to his #1 choice came first. He was sold. Refused to even visit choice #2. Had a great four years. Never regretted his decision.
My son had to choose between a very highly ranked college and one that was top ranked in computer science. Admitted students weekend made him realize he could be very happy at the highly ranked college and I hadn’t been totally crazy for asking him to apply to it, but he still chose the computer science school. (With our blessing.) He had no regrets and neither did we. Kids aren’t always the same kids in April as they were in October - there’s a lot of growing up that goes on that year. There’s no shame in changing your mind, or in sticking with it. I do believe it’s healthier for most kids to realize there are no dream schools out there - every school has its pluses and minuses. And kids who are determined to make the best of wherever they choose are likely to be the best off.
I have one child who always knows what she wants, finds it, and is done. She did this with college and is even happier than she expected to be. I have another child who always thinks something better is going to come along so is always putting off decisions, waiting, changing her mind, looking for one more school/outfit/computer/ice cream flavor - whatever! She looked at a few schools that we knew were ‘no’ and then she fell in love on a visit. I made her go to one more school that we’d already set up, and I’m glad we did because then she knew ‘for sure’ the school she loved was right. She never looked back, which is very unusual for her.
So which kind of child do you have, one who is always sure of his choices or one who second guesses everything? If the first, then believe him when he comes home from that overnight. If the second, insist on a couple of visits.
There was one school that D1 loved the first time she visited. The tour guide was amazing and it sounded like everything she wanted from a school. Her dad also like a bit of quirkiness of the school. Both of them came back very excited about the school.
We went back for admitted student day and the rainbow went away. She noticed students were too artsy and bohemian for him (her dad loved that), and I noticed students were taking study too seriously (on the first nice day in spring no one was out in the quad throwing frisbees or hanging out because they were having their midterms).
Your son has 3 good options. If you could afford it I would have him visit all three and I would even encourage you to go with him because you may see things that he wouldn’t necessary notice.
When you visit schools I would encourage you to stop by the career center to find out what companies come on campus to recruit and what do they do to help students land their first jobs. If your son is interested in pre-law, pre-med, make an appointment with a dean to see what do they do to help their students and what’s their admit rate.
Oldfort- most of the career services information is online… but I agree with you that checking out the support systems is a great step which most people ignore. A well staffed career center will have advisers who specialize in fellowships (Fulbright, Marshall, Rhodes plus less well known study/travel funding); different types of grad programs; LOTS of career paths including TFA and Peace Corps advising, in addition to actual campus recruiting.
Hi - my son attended an admitted student day at what he considered his top choice. And left knowing it wasn’t the right place for him. We were able to visit the disabilities office and also the department that he was interested in for his major. We found the school to be much more rigid vs. originally thought which truly was great information to have. If you can visit the other schools, it can’t hurt. Hopefully you’ll find that the top choice school really is the top choice school.
My kid had a clear preference of the order of her top 3 – call them 1, 2, and 3. We went to all 3 accepted visits (much flying,…) and she stayed overnight. It made a huge difference. Schools 1 & 2 did not shine, to put it nicely. School 3 did. She was very quiet for a few days, sort of digesting that info. Then announced she had picked 3. She is a very happy sophomore, and now is relieved she did her visits and did not end up at one of the other schools. All are very highly ranked schools, too. My take is that your husband is right… Gather as much info as possible before deciding, 24 hours on campus can be very revealing.
I’d also say that being able to do an overnight stay was helpful too, as others have said. They get a glimpse of how it would be without mom and dad hanging around. I think it’s good to get as much information as you can.
DS had a top school, with in-state tuition. He was admitted, but not to the progam he wanted. Heard from people here at CC, the admissions officer, and elsewhere that it was possible to go to this school undecided and get into that program. So we went to the admitted students’ day hoping to get confirmation of this and ready to send in the deposit that day. We met with the admissions head at the college he wanted, and he told DS to write to the program head and ask if he could enter as undecided and reapply for the program. He got an extremely nasty response saying, no, you didn’t get in because you weren’t good enough and we don’t let students in through the back door. And that was that. DS ended up at his 4th choice school which we had visited twice, and has had a great experience.
Now DD is leaning heavily toward that same school. Different college and program, and she got a huge scholarship, but I had such a bad experience with DS that it is hard to judge the school objectively. The program she wants is also competitive and you don’t apply until junior year - so what if she goes there and doesn’t get in? Could be a disaster down the road. Needless to say we will be attending admitted students day at this school and all of her other admits just to make sure! And we know what questions to ask now.