<p>D attended Admitted Students' Day at W&M. This after attending (and not being thrilled with) admitted students' day at MD. Found the latter to be big and impersonal, and was surprised that they were shown such an icky dorm.</p>
<p>Anyway. She and my husband drove down this morning. I had taken D for her initial tour of W&M last summer, and dad had never seen the campus, so it was dad's turn. Plus, I had something to do and couldn't go anyway. </p>
<p>Bottom line: She has decided to attend there. I wish she could muster more enthusiasm, but she is a worrier so all she can do is worry. She worries she won't like it. She worries she will be bored. She worries she won't fit in, can't do the work. She did allow that the campus and facilities are as gorgeous as she remembered, but she still pines for Wesleyan.</p>
<p>There was a theme to the visit, however: Non-stop friction between D and dad. My husband, bless his heart, is a happy-go-lucky, brimming-with-enthusiasm-for-life-and-everything-in-it kind of fellow. This irritates D no end. I had begged him to fade into the background, work to be invisible, not draw attention to himself or D, take his lead from the other parents. Nope, didn't happen. Dad kept asking questions on the tour. Was seen palling around with various administrators. Laughed a bit too loudly and looked at bit too thrilled with it all. Pushed D to ask questions. Repeatedly suggested that D sit in on a class when she didn't want to. I think he is just so stoked that she is getting the chance to go to this great school and his breadwinning is making it all possible that he just cannot contain himself. </p>
<p>:sigh: I wish I had gone ('cause fading into the background for the sake of an insecure teen is something I can do). Oh, well. He's a good dad, and someday D will see that more clearly.</p>
<p>Haha, there’s always at least one parent in every group I’ve seen that is like that. If it helps her feel better the students really do understand that its not HER acting like that. So many tours come through my dorm that we begin to feel sorry for some of the kids trying to pretend they don’t exist as their parent asks questions. But hey, sometimes asking lots of questions can be useful! And from observations and my own experience if you and your student talk about potential questions to ask, it may be easier for them than trying to make one up on the spot.</p>
<p>Congratulations on her acceptance and welcome to the Tribe!</p>
<p>I understand where your daughter is coming from. That happened with my mom and me – though not the part about laughing, just the friction – when my parents and I first visited W&M last year. She didn’t come this time around (the admitted kids’ day), and the trip was undoubtedly much more enjoyable. I’ll also be attending next fall.</p>
<p>But on a second read, I am concerned about your D. None of my business, I know, but how many kids would be thrilled to have a parent drive them 4 hours for admitted students’ day and know said parent was paying for OOS tuition?!!! Or really, my D, whose father passed away a few yrs ago, did not, like MANY kids, get to tour a college with her parent save for her overwrought mother. </p>
<p>I think your D needs to step back and put her choices in perspective as well as her generous family. </p>
<p>I also feel that your D is not thrilled with W&M; when she returned from admitted students’ day, she should have been excited and happy. I do not think that dad’s exuberance affected her perception (and I DO sympathize with her as one of my parents was flamboyant).</p>
<p>I have not read all of her story but I understand a waiting list is in the picture and I would encourage her to call that school and tell them she wants to come and does not need financial aid. </p>
<p>Sorry for being blunt, but really – your portrayal – and it might be your portrayal not the reality – makes me wince for a lot of kids for whom this process is not as smooth.</p>
<p>There are many stories here on CC about students who wound up at less-than-first choice schools who thrive. At William and Mary, there’s a great chance that this would be your daughter’s story, too. There are so many ways a student can find to “fit in” and, just by being herself, she can find a way.</p>
<p>I’m not sure worrying is all bad; it’s a way to acknowledge the challenges that this big change in her life present. And it may be she will come to appreciate her Dad more, sooner rather than later.</p>
<p>There are several parallels between your D’s situation and mine, two years ago. I think it’s important to get her to talk about what she likes about William and Mary…there’s so much more to like than the beauty of the campus. Assure her that, by focusing her “worry” on being conscientious about classes, she will do quite well. She’ll have to eventually decide that herself, of course,but hopefully she is in for a great experience.</p>
<p>Daughter #1 changed her mind from UVA to WM after 2007 admitted students day. She loves the place and can never imagine her life any where else. Have to agree…at least her father drove her down and got to tour the campus and feeled thrilled for her achievements. My husband has been ill and has never been able to walk the campus or take any tours with D2. Praying D2 gets in off the waitlist as her number one, dream school turned out to be a nightmare. She’ll have to settle for third choice.</p>
<p>WM was not my D’s first choice, either. However, it’s been the best 4 years of her life. Turned out better than any of us ever could have expected. Can’t wait to get back there for May graduation!</p>
<p>My D went to admitted students day on the 18th–and loved W&M. She is very excited about attending in the fall. Here to Help, are you one of the tour guides? We had Chole and she was very enthusiastic. So glad she has made her decision!</p>