Wouldn’t the parental,rights of his parents need to be terminated for him to be up for adoption?
Op would have to check the laws in his state.
As I stated earlier there are a lot of issues outside of financial aid that the parents would have to take on. Op becomes a child of the family, a legal next of kin like biological chokdren
In my state, and I six others in which I have lived…a child who,has parents cannot be adopted by another set of parents unless the first set gives up parental rights. But yes…the OP needs to check in his or her state.
But right now…this student is facing college charges he or she cannot pay. Even IF adoption is a possibility, this process is unlikely to be completed before the next term of college starts.
At this point, this student needs to figure out what he or she will be able to do for,the upcoming term.
Perhaps request a leave of absence to try to sort this out. If things can’t be financially viable at this college…then the student can pursue other affordable options.
I found a legal guardian on my own because I did not want to go through the foster care system but I needed to get out of my house. I don’t really want to say any more. A judge ruled that I would be better off in another person’s care. They were not a relative, and in my area, you couldn’t get a guardianship granted to change schools.
I have already sorted things out for next semester. My debt will be worse, but, honestly, I can’t imagine taking a semester off. I have read a lot of the threads in this forum so I already know some of you by what you’ve posted and I know that you will tell me to do it anyway, but I don’t think that I can. I worked my butt off to get here. I went so many nights without sleep so I could work and make money and then finish all of my homework and study. I work here so I can help pay for school. I will work this summer. My question is about reducing the financial strain that I have right now.
The adoption isn’t for the purpose of financial aid, although I’m sure it sounds that way. I don’t know what any of you have been through, but my experience with my biological family was terrible. I lived my childhood in fear. Those people still have claim to me- parental rights weren’t severed with the guardianship because I was not adopted. If I am in an accident, they are my next of kin. If they die, I am their next of kin. It is a relationship that I do not want to have. I know it probably sounds weird that I found a family that wants to adopt me as a young adult. I know a lot of my friends don’t understand it either. If feeling this safe, and this accepted, and this valid is how families normally make you feel, I get it. If my biological family loved me this way, I wouldn’t want to leave them either. But it’s not like that. I want to be adopted because I want to belong to something. Right now, I don’t.
I can be adopted without my biological parents consenting (although they probably would, if it came up) as an adult. They wouldn’t even be alerted, as far as I understand. That’s not an issue, either.
I appreciate your advice. I still don’t really know what to do. I guess I can just go ahead and hope that the adoption will end up helping my situation.
Will your aunt still cosign for you once you’re adopted? Will your new parents take on that burden? If they’re low income, you really shouldn’t ask them to cosign loans for you.
Is your aunt wealthy enough to cosign every year? Is she in good health?
I am sorry to hear that you have been through so much. Was your high school aware that they could support you in getting s dependency override? Is it something that you could talk to financial aid about. Did you ever give them a copy of your court paper and explain your situation to them
In the states that allow adoption of an adult, no, the parental rights of the bio parents do not need to be terminated. They basically are terminated at 18/19, although a few states have statutes that obligate the parents for a few things, ex., parents might have a child support obligation, in NY some parents have a housing obligation, in NJ the tuition obligation. There are no ‘next of kin’ obligations, so if you don’t want to make medical decisions or be contacted, you don’t have to be. If you want someone else to be ‘next of kin’ for you, fill out the paperwork to make it happen.
Not all states allow adoption of an adult. It is actually very difficult to terminate parental rights, and more often than not, the child just ages out of the system before the rights are terminated. The child may be in foster care, there might be no visitation or legal authority by the parents over the child (the state has custody) but the termination of rights takes a long time, requires social worker reports, court hearings, appeals. I’ve had it take over 4 years for young children. If no one is scheduling social worker appointments or court hearings, everyone just lets the matter continue until the child ages out.
I think there’s some piece of the puzzle missing here, something the college is seeing that we don’t know. OP, have you run this up the ladder with your school’s FA folks and learned what they consider the sticking point(s)?
There are people who push and press and, despite the burdens, get where they intend to. I don’t think posters are saying to drop your college goals, but asking if yo’d consider offering yourself a semester or two of breathing room, to figure this out. We don’t know what your debt will be, for 1st year. But you’ll need to cover 3 more and we hate to see the debt mount.
My aunt is willing to cosign every year, and my adoptive parents would be too, if it came down to it. I would never want it to come to that, though. My hope is that it would increase my aid and I could cover it all with federal loans so no one would need to cosign. I know that that might not happen, though.
I don’t know that my high school was aware of it. I don’t think dependency overrides were really commonly dealt with. I did give them the court paperwork, but they basically told me that because my parents are alive and I am able to contact them, I have to submit their information. I know a lot of people who are independent for institutional aid who have much more contact with their biological parents than I do. I’m not sure if they lied or not, but I’m not really comfortable with lying.
My state allows the adoption of an adult, provided both adults consent.
@lookingforward I’ve sent the college all of this information, and the same story that I just told you. They just say that they permit students who have one or both biological parents unable to fill out the forms to petition for independency. Both of my biological parents are able, and I refuse to lie about it. I just don’t see how some of my independent friends obtained their status. They all said that they just explained their situation and it was granted.
It’s hard to consider dropping my dreams for any amount of time. If I left for a year, I wouldn’t graduate with all of my friends. I’d be behind. It’s just discouraging. I worked really hard for this, and it’s so, so frustrating that my school won’t acknowledge everything that I’ve been through, and the fact that I haven’t seen my biological parents in years.
Some of your independent friends obtained their status based on extenuating circumstances. Remember people only tell you what they want you to know and may not have disclosed to you their whole situation. You just stated that your high school/GC did not know about your situation - because for some reason(fear, embarrassment, you didn’t feel you had that kind of relationship ) you did not inform them. I work with kids and trust me, you need a lot of documentation and statements to get a dependency override from a college in order to deem a student independent (the documentation takes place over a couple of years).
The reason I asked if your school or GC knew your situation is because they are a neutral third party and are usually the first people who could document a students situation with the parents whether a student is leaving at home, family living in a shelter or if the student is an unaccompanied minor.
In addition because schools are mandated reporters they must maintain records and could document any history of abuse. If there was a no contact order from the court, the school would be aware of it and your records would be flagged.
You would have a history of documentation to provide the college for a dependency override. Your friends who may not tell ** you ** everything that is going on with them made sure that agencies who needed to know their situation knew their situation as had documentation. Especially documentation that proves the parental relationship is irreparably broken.
Your school believes you have contact with your parents, they filled out the forms (filling out the forms does not obligate anyone to pay). You have an aunt as a co-signer who most likely can reach out to her sibling or other family member about the where abouts of your parents.
While your relationship with your parents are estranged (which I hate to say is more common than you think), there is nothing in your documentation that states the relationship cannot be fixed. Has there ever been a court ordered no-contact order between you ad your parents? This would have been the first step in giving you an override because colleges would never place students in danger. Your challenge is that your top 10 school has safety nets in place that if you start as a dependent student,you finish as a dependent student. It is highly unlikely that you will ever be made an independent student.
Regarding federal loans other than what you are receiving $5500 + an additional $4000 for being an independent student, you will need a co-signer for additional funds.
I totally understand the stars in your eyes of being admitted to your dream top 10 school ED. You feel it is a reward for all of your hard work and you deserve this. Unfortunately your dream school is quickly becoming a financial nightmare and you are grasping at any possible straw to make this work.
You don’t have the luxury of worrying about graduating with your friends; you have bigger fish to fry. You have a financial situation is you will not be able to sustain over the course of 4 years. Your aunt and adoptive parents must be approved to keep signing for these loans every year.
How much does this school cost? And how much debt are you asking others to take on for you over 4 years? I think you need to take a step back and look at affordability. A lot of kids work really hard and end up attending community college and/or their local state school because that’s what they can afford. Attending an unafforfable school because you applied ED was a mistake the adults around you shouldn’t have let you make, but it’s one that can be fixed.
If you withdraw after the fall semester, you have 3 years to make new connections at a different college. Since you have only one semester of credits, some schools might consider you a freshman which would make you eligible for freshman grants. What are your stats, EFC, and home state? Maybe we can help direct you to more affordable options.
You’ve hinted that your home life was abusive and that’s why a judge agreed that you should live elsewhere. If that’s true, and the judge’s written words support that, take that to the university’s director of FA. It’s not unusual for schools to waive the need to get parent info if there’s documented abuse.
Were there any police reports? Police called to your home?
If so, then get your ducks in a row and use them.