<p>This is my first post on CC. I'm going back to school on Sunday which i'm very nervous about. This will be my second year. I had a very hard year last year because i was sick all year with a chronic illness. I also have anxiety, which I am seeing someone about but being away from home increases it. Although i live at school my house is only about twenty minutes away. I have a group of friends, who im living with but i cant help but feel anxious about going back, as I dont like bein gaway from home and i'm trying to do a better job staying on campus during the weekends.</p>
<p>Any advice to a smoother transition would be great.</p>
<p>Talk with your counselor. If you haven’t all ready, you may want to ask him/her about the possibility of adding medication to your therapy.</p>
<p>If you are all ready taking medication and you’re still experiencing anxiety and nervousness to this degree, discuss the possibility of changing the dosage or trying a different one.</p>
<p>Take a year off. In your year off, get a job, move into an apartment, socialize, gain confidence, and only see your parents every other weekend. Then go back to school. THis might help you have a smoother transition. </p>
<p>It’s not normal to be so anxious - college is exciting/fun. It’s okay to put college on hold - as you are not likely to do well and/or have any real fun if you are suffering all the time.</p>
<p>You say that you’re trying to do a better job of staying on campus during the weekends.</p>
<p>Why? Is this something your counselor has asked you to do?</p>
<p>If not, why do you do it? I don’t see the point. Unless spending the weekends in a specific way is part of your therapy, why can’t you just do whatever you prefer?</p>
<p>I think a year off is a bit extreme. My anxiety isn’t interfering with my college experience and is not the main reason why i go to a counselor. I go to help manage stress which makes dealing with my illness worse (ulcerative) I had two really bad roommates last semester which is why i hated weekends so much because their boyfriends were in the room all the time. </p>
<p>I was basically just asking for advice on how to make the first few days in transition back to school more smooth. the anxiety detail wasnt crucial and i probably should have left it out</p>
<p>My college roommate’s daughter suffered from anxiety, and neglecting to deal with it properly torpedoed her college career. She left after four years when her class graduated with barely two years of credits, and a zero balance in her college fund (her family had saved diligently, and was full pay at her recognizable-at-CC-LAC). Please do not let this happen to you.</p>
<p>Take care of your health first - both mental and physical. If that means a semester or year off, or a light courseload, or weekends at home, so be it. Likewise, it caring for yourself means staying on campus on the weekends, and spending time there with the friends you have at college, then that is a good thing. Why not mix it up a bit, and invite the nice friends home for part (or all) of the weekend on occasion? The out-of-towners might like a chance get away from campus, eat home cooking, and be doted on by “Mom and Dad” for a bit - I sure did when I was in college far from home and had the opportunity to spend time with friends whose families were local!</p>
<p>If your family is so close then why not just live at home and go to school? There is no law that you must live away from your family during college. That is sort of the norm but it isn’t the right fit for anyone. Some kids do extremely well living at home through college and if you are healthier and happier doing that then I see no problem.</p>
<p>I tried the living at home things with my parents but my parents are the kind of tough love kind of parents. They want me to get the college experience etc.</p>
<p>Week days I’m fine but for some reason when the weekends roll around, I can’t wait for Monday to come. Part of it has to do with boredom, and last year i had bad roommates which I know can have a huge negative impact on an experience and did. But this year I have my own room. But am in a suite with three of my friends. </p>
<p>The staying on weekends thing my counselor thought would be a good idea because as i get used to staying more weekends it will get easier for me. So I made a goal to stay at school until columbus day weekend. </p>
<p>I feel like I painted a picture of myself as an extremely anxiety ridden person, its not that at all, I just tend to worry about things a little bit more than the average person. I dont have like panic attacks or anything close to that</p>
<p>I have a D who worries about things more than the average person. Things she has tried to help her with this are yoga and exercise. She didn’t love yoga, but she has found that she enjoys running and going to the gym. She appears to worry less than she used to.</p>
<p>My daughter has found that adding DHA fish oil (1000 mg) 2x day, plus chelated magnesium 250 mg, and B vitamins has helped her tremendously–magnesium is though to help with anxiety.</p>
<p>As a general rule, if you are taking any kind of medicine – such as medicine for anxiety – you should talk to your doctor before taking any dietary supplement. Your doctor needs to know everything you’re taking because sometimes these things can interact with each other in harmful ways.</p>
<p>OMG! I haven’t been here for days, so I haven’t read these comments, until now (especially posts #2 & 3), but I can’t believe how extreme these comments/advice have been.</p>
<p>First, I’m glad you recognize your anxiety. My DH is exactly like your “tough love” parents, but you are doing all the right things. 1) you are going away to college (this anxiety will hopefully lessen as you start to make friends now that you’re back and classes get started.) 2) I like that you chose to go to college only 20 min away from home. That’s close enough if you need your mum/dad, but gives you some space 3) I like the fact that you have a counselor. It’s someone who knows you, someone to talk to, and possibly someone who can guide you if you take meds.</p>
<p>NO ONE here should be telling you to take any medication. We are an anonymous group of parents. Do not listen to those who suggest taking medication; that’s for a doctor (who knows you and counsels you) to do. And do not feel the need to take time off. You are who you are, and you’re getting into the groove of what all 19 y/o are doing. Keep at it. Make friends. Study hard and have fun. And to make new circles of friends, do things differently, like volunteer in a variety of clubs and programs and go to the gym.</p>
<p>In fact, think about times when you are most anxious. Is it starting classes? having these transitions? making new friends? And think about what helps that anxiety. If you become super anxious if you’ve been lonely, get out of your room. If you get super anxious because of school work, meet with your professors. You are your best guide.</p>
<p>Some clarification regarding my previous post. I NEVER said for the OP to take medication.
I recommended to the OP to discuss it with the counselor.</p>
<p>I am a professional in this field, but not giving professional advice. Follow what your counselor says to do. Meds should be helping, but do sometimes need tweaking. But, as a person also with anxiety it is all about managing how it is a problem in your life as unfortunately, it is most likely going to effect you on and off in your life. But you have a handle on it and how it shows up and that is 90% of the battle here. There is a guy online at anxieties.com who does some really helpful videos. Try spending one weekend night a week at school every other weekend. Then move to one night every weekend and so on. But be sure you have a plan with someone for the weekend to do something, even if its just to watch a movie. And remember there are many many successful people in these days of telecommute who are able to live full lives that work with their anxiety. Lastly, I run every day, so good advice above for that. And yes, herbals and supplements can impair efficacy of meds so just ask your MD is all, or pharmacist.</p>
<p>I thought the advice to take a year off was also extreme limabeans (but its advice and input that i appreciate none the less, so i hope those who gave it don’t feel unappreciated)</p>
<p>Transition, makes me anxious but as I get ready to leave tomorrow…ha 20 minute drive to school but right now I’m feeling fine. </p>
<p>I have Crohn’s Disease, and I was only diagnosed a little over a year ago, so stressful situations, made worse by my anxiety really makes my stomach act up which is why its even more important for me to keep stress at a minimum. I see a counselor for stress management, but we do talk about my anxiety as well. </p>
<p>Let me clarify on the weekend thing. Last semester I had really bad roommates (up all night etc) so even though i have a solid group of friends, weekends were still very hard because waking up on Saturday mornings with the room pitch black and boyfriends of my roommates over was not fun. Yes i know i could have left the room but still. I was also in the middle of a Crohn’s flare which also wasnt helping my situation. I came home probably 75 percent of the weekends last semester, which my parents were fine with most of the time. Of course its not that they dont want me home but they want me to enjoy my college experience. My counselor wants to expose me to staying on the weekends, and says if i really feel the need to come home then thats fine, but that I will become more comfortable with weekends the more i stay. For some reason, I’m absolutely fine during the week but once the weekend hits my anxiety starts up.</p>
<p>Ugh. Lousy roommates are the worst – you have no control, and no remedy!</p>
<p>Maybe you could pick certain weekends to stay, and make awesome plans for them. (Or, maybe that just gives you something to dread. Hmm). Personally, I find exercise (walking or rowing) very good for controlling anxiety, also anything “hands on” like crafts or volunteer work. Keep a stash of favorite safe food so you can mitigate the Crohn’s with gentle diet to balance the anxiety trigger. Get a book you only read on the weekends. Or a movie. Give yourself a Saturday budget and get it in cash, then go shopping. Go home just for Friday night, or just for Sunday. You sound like you are doing all the right things, and thinking in a way that will get you some results you like.</p>
<p>What often happens here is that the OP starts a thread by asking for advice with a problem. People reply. The OP realizes that some of the advice doesn’t seem to fit the situation and comes back with more details about the problem. People reply again.</p>
<p>This is what’s happening here, I think. As we continue to talk back and forth, we understand you better, and perhaps a little of what we say will turn out to be helpful.</p>
<p>It sounds like you have a better roommate situation this year than you had last year. It sounds like you also will be better able to deal with your Crohn’s disease because you are more experienced with it. These are big plus marks. To me, it sounds as though this year will be better than last year for these two reasons.</p>
<p>To me, you don’t sound like “a student with anxiety.” You sound like a student who has a chronic medical problem and is coping with it rather well. All I can say is that I don’t think you (or your parents) should worry about whether or not you’re having the typical college experience. For a person with a health issue, a somewhat atypical version of the college experience might turn out to be better. And there’s nothing wrong with that.</p>
<p>Good luck with the beginning of the year, and please come back and tell us how things are going.</p>
<p>Katyr4 – You have already done everything needed to have a smoother transition this year. You said, “I had two really bad roommates last semester which is why I hated weekends so much because their boyfriends were in the room all the time.” You also said, “But this year I have my own room. But am in a suite with three of my friends.”
Having your own room in a suite with three friends will be a totally different, and almost certainly, better experience for you. Try to relax and think positive about your new living situation. Today is your move in day – good luck and best wishes!!</p>