Advice for the Younger Ones/Diatribe about Falling in Love with a College

Applying to College
1

<p>I am in one of the most competitive high schools in my state. I am a 3.9/2300 student. I am president of several clubs. I have over a thousand community service hours. I have won national awards. I have won state awards. I have won local awards. I have published a book. I have long-term commitments in everything I do. I am passionate and wrote essays that I spent time on. I have good relationships with my teachers. I didn't fail my interview. I applied ED to my ultimate top-choice school.</p>

<p>I was rejected on December 10th.</p>

<p>On February 27th, it's only finally settled in. I never cried over the rejection, but I'm sitting here now, devastated. After having my heart set on a school for over three years and fooled into believing that I had a decent shot of being accepted, it's taken me three months to realize that I'm not going there. </p>

<p>College admissions is no longer exciting. The prospect of other schools doesn't thrill me. After getting two more acceptances to other schools, I still haven't felt the excitement I expected to feel because nothing will compare to the happiness I could have felt. </p>

<p>And yes, I know I will settle somewhere and it will be the best four years of my life. I will go somewhere I was "meant to go". But my mind will never stop wondering about the what ifs. What if I studied harder for another two final exams? What if my GPA was 0.05 higher? What if I could've done something else, written about another essay topic?</p>

<p>I like to believe that I'm not a regretful person, but really...I am. I have made mistakes, I have lost focus, and I have wasted time. But as of now, I am terrified that I won't regain the euphoria of being in love with a college. Maybe things will change when April 1st and September 1st comes. Perchance they won't.</p>

<p>To the younger students, the juniors, the sophomores, the freshmen, I say:</p>

<p>Always argue for that borderline grade. Don't lose your focus. Study for that final as hard as you can if you need the grade. Don't get distracted. The disappointment of rejection for the next four years of your life isn't worth that extra night of fun. </p>

<p>Or perhaps I should contend: Don't fall too far in love with a school that you have no complete grasp that you can attend. College admissions will never be what you think they are.</p>

<p>To those accepted to their first choice, I say:</p>

<p>Congratulations. I hope you will never have to feel the drag of four month, 24/7 disappointment.</p>

2

<p>I know this isn’t the most helpful ever but in the end, you will be happy. and if you’re not, you can always transfer. you seem like a really good student, and unless the school is like Harvard, Yale, or Johns Hopkins, you can usually transfer after your first year. You’ll be a first year student still, sooo the transfering process will still consider your hs grades. Plus, colleges like to see students who applied before trying again.</p>

<p>And even if you dont get in, stressing over it now will just make your college experience harder. Make sure you see the good wherever you go, find something to make it worth while and always remember, its their loss, not yours.</p>

3

<p>I can only extend my most sincere condolences to you and pray you discover another school fitting for you.</p>

<p>Being a sophomore in high school, I can’t say that this hasn’t discouraged me. My situation resembles yours: my grades are not worthy of valedictorian, but I am sure I am in the top 5 rank. I also have awards in my belt and aspire to improve my community service and participate in clubs, etc… </p>

<p>Would it be alright if you could offer more detailed advice and circumstances regarding this on a PM? I sympathize with your endeavors, but I’m extremely curious and desperate to know the extent of the academic competition this century.</p>

4

<p>RaRugged–Go read the various ED acceptance threads from last December; that will give you a better (i.e., larger sample size) sense of the competition.</p>

<p>angio–
Really sorry it did not work out for you at Dream School (DS.) It is hard not to see it as a rejection of you and your self-worth. But they only had a representational understanding of you, and quite frankly, that is all you had of DS. Unless your set of criteria was very complex/narrow, there are a large number of schools where a person with your talents and experiences can thrive. You were infatuated with an image of the school, but I believe you will fall in love with the reality of wherever you go.</p>

5

<p>angiotension, please let us know what is that sucky school that rejects you …</p>

6

<p>It really does not matter what school it was; could have been Columbia or Chicago; Swarthmore or Stanford. Under the current system, admission at selective schools has become unpredicatable, and pinning all your hopes on one DS is perilous, no matter how qualified the applicant.</p>

7

<p>It looks like Penn</p>

8

<p>I agree with this 100%. Only 33 more days until I get to experience it.</p>

9

<p>So, do you want the “it’ll-all-work-out” pep talk or the “get-your-head-out-of-your-butt” lecture?</p>

<p>Since you seem to be getting plenty of the first, I’ll take a stab at the second. You failed three years ago when you decided that XYZ U. was the only true place for you. You failed yourself when you decided that you’d done everything possible to get there without ever honestly considering the reality of possible rejection. You failed when you elected to put your happiness into the hands of some anonymous distant admissions department. Like it or not, you were dead three years ago when you went all in for XYZ.</p>

<p>I don’t know why you were rejected, maybe there were other, more qualified candidates from your area. Maybe your essay wasn’t quite as stellar as you think it was. Maybe they had already admitted too many book-publishing-Type-A personalities and wanted a few more relaxed type-Bs. But if you think that extra .05 GPA or 20 more points on the SAT was the difference your kidding yourself. If you think that becoming a grade-grubbing high-school student is assurance of admission, your delusional. </p>

<p>Life is full of major and petty regrets. With a little luck you’ll mature to a point where you’ll realize that regrets are the most expensive worthless thing you’ll ever own. So if you want to spend the next 4 years morosely wallowing in a “How-much-more-wonderful-would-my-life-be-if-I-had-only-gotten-into-XYZ” stupor, be my guest. I won’t be at all surprised if you then change your sobbing to, “God-if-I’d-only-had-more-fun-at-ABC U”.</p>

<p>It’s not how many times you get knocked down that matters, it’s about how many times you get back up.</p>

10

<p>angiotension, a year from now you can reread your post. You will be happily settled into a great school, with interesting classes and fantastic friends. The rejection by one school will just not matter to you that much anymore, because you will love wherever you are.
Your advice is right, that younger students shouldn’t fall in love with just one school. It is still great advice for you…it’s done, and you have a great future ahead of you.</p>

11

<p>fate will take us to wherever she wants to take us !!!</p>

12

<p>Its probably because your not special. Top schools get applicants like you everyday, and you didn’t have that one thing to distinguish yourself.</p>

13

<p>The only school you should ever love is one of your safeties that not only is a rock-solid academic safety (you are guaranteed admission or all but guaranteed admission), is completely affordable for your family without any aid other than federal (FAFSA) aid, and offers your major. The rest of the places you should “like” or “be attracted to” or “be interested in”. Letting yourself fall in love with any of them leads to nothing but grief.</p>

<p>Think of the whole college search as an arranged marriage rather than a love match.</p>

14

<p>

I am sorry to hear about your disappointment. Its painful for everyone to have a dream and then realize its gone.</p>

<p>Realize, though, that you’re building this school up to be a wonderful place where your hopes could be realized better than in any other place. You’ll never know if its true, but more importantly for your own peace of mind is to dispute that assumption and the several around it. I suggest you read thru a layman’s book about cognitive therapy and you’ll discover techniques for disputing thoughts, because it is those thoughts that are making you miserable.</p>

15

<p>Advice like “you can succeed no matter where you go” can sound hollow because we know how many students get great positions and opportunities because of their school connections. But even though not having a prestigious undergrad can prevent some opportunities, it still leaves room for a lot of great outcomes. Some outcomes are actually a bit easier since there will be less competition for a high GPA and you will stand out more to your professors. I’ll just list a few: </p>

<p>Really great GPA and LSATs from any school ==> Good law school ==> Good law job</p>

<p>Great undergraduate performance ==> Medical School</p>

<p>Good research (possibly bolstered by REUs) ==> Good phD program</p>

<p>Good interviewing and networking ==> Good job out of undergraduate (I will admit that it will be harder to get the interview, depending on what industry we’re talking about). </p>

<p>I think that it is possible to go to a good, but not super competitive, firm and get into a top MBA program after being a top performer. I’m not sure though.</p>

16

<p>You werent in love with that college, you were in love with the life you thought that college would bring you. That ideal life you thought that only THAT college could bring could be easily attained at any 4 year university. Just remember, if your good at what you do you will succeed regardless of diploma or education.</p>

17

<p>I honestly can’t even imagine what rejection from UVA will feel like. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something for so long in my life.</p>

18

<p>another example of why it’s not healthy to have a dream school. What school you get into or graduate from will have very little significance on your happiness in life. Life is too short to not have fun in High School and to constantly worry about every test and grade to insure you get into your “dream school”. That’s no way to live.</p>

19

<p>I had a similar case with the OP. The funny thing with me is, when I got rejected from my dream - it didn’t hit me. It hit me 7 days later, when I got accepted by my second choice. I was devastated, realizing that I won’t be attending my dream school. I was deeply troubled for the next week. Forward a month, and i’m super grateful for getting into my second choice. Sure, it still hurts me a bit, knowing that i’m not going there… and i’d still like to go there and everything… but i know eventually it’s going to work out :)</p>

20

<p>People are so optimistic.</p>