<p>Hello everyone! I need some advice from other parents out there on dealing with living at home for the summer. Let me sum up my situation for you.</p>
<p>Ever since last summer (when I was a graduated high school senior), when I got into my first relationship with a guy, everything has gone crazy. The thing is, my parents really have no reason to be going crazy over this relationship at all. The guy I'm dating is a few years older than me, but is an outstanding gentleman. He is very respectful towards my family, and is very caring and thoughtful towards my younger siblings. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, and is basically a very good influence. I have been dating him for a year now. You would think my parents (really my mother..) would be encouraged at my dedication and commitment, wouldn't you? But, I am by no means racing towards the wedding chapel. My boyfriend and I both know that marriage is way in the future, and have never even so much as hinted at a plan for it. We are taking it as it comes.<br>
Anyway, my mother has resented the fact that I now have someone else in my life to love, and spend my time with. Admittedly, I did spend a lot of time with him those first few months, but it was because we knew we were headed for a long distance relationship (four hours apart) and wanted to spend as much time together as possible. Which we did. At first, my parents and I did have problems with curfews and how long my boyfriend could stay over, but those problems are long past. I fully respect my curfew now and my boyfriend is never over any later than 10 minutes past my curfew.<br>
One of the things my mother resents the most is the fact that I now go to my boyfriend with most of my problems. But the fact is a) most of problems revolve around issues and arguments with her and b) when I went through a very traumatic unwanted sexual encounter over Christmas break, I found myself with little support.</p>
<p>I have never been the type of student to party, drink, do drugs, or even get low grades. In fact, I am highly opposed to all of those things. I was never the type of kid that went to parties, and my parents surely never had to pick me up from them because I was too drunk to drive myself.
Here is one of the major issues I am struggling with.. over the second semester when I was struggling a lot and needed someone to talk to, I called my mother, but was basically told "I can't do anything for you, so I'm just going to end our call here" It really hurt me that I could call her crying and she would leave me like that. I have let her know how much that hurt me. Also, the few other times when I have tried to talk to her, she has insinuated that I was maybe to blame for the encounter. I think it is very easy to understand why I would not want to go to her with my problems anymore.</p>
<p>So now this is where my main problem lies. I am at home for the summer, and so is my sister, who has just graduated from college and is looking for a job. My mother has broken her leg, and does need a lot of extra help around the house. I have a job at a restaraunt, which gives me odd hours, since the busiest time is around 5-10 pm for the dinner rush. It is not uncommon for me to stay up late to spend time with my boyfriend after work and sleep in late.<br>
My mother's main issue is that I don't pitch in around the house enough. I just don't see how I could ever measure up to my sister's input, who is at home all day withought a job while she is looking for one. My sister is the eldest of the family, and has always been a hard standard to live up to. She is a people pleaser, and has always worked hard to do whatever it is my parents want. I try to put in my share, which admittedly probably isn't enough, but since I keep odd hours, it's hard for me to. I do laundry and dishes and often keep the bathrooms cleaned and the litter box cleaned. Oh, I also rarely eat at home, because of my odd hours, but spend my own money I make at my job on my meals, clothes, gas, and other things. I also do 90% of my own laundry. It often seems as though my efforts are never noticed. This is a constant source of argument. For instance, which I opted to mop the kitchen floor, I found out during a heated argument, that I hadn't done it the way that had been wanted. Oops?<br>
With all the arguing, and the words that get thrown around (more often my mother than I,) I find it hard not to be very resentful, and want to help out, but I do still continue to try, but probab ly not as much as I should.
I am tired of feeling like the black sheep of the family when I have stellar grades, a stellar boyfriend, a good job, and have never had any problems with alcohol or drugs.
Basically my mom's two main complaints (and they are LOUD) are that a) I never want to spend time with her, and only with my boyfriend (that I never see, because of the four hours apart during the school year) and b) I don't do enough around the house.
Like I said, I do try and step it up and do more chores, but it often goes unnoticed, or wasn't done how it was wanted. But I find it hard to spend time hanging out with my mom when I feel so much resentment right now. I'm finding myself never wanting to come home for the summer again..
I'm sorry if this all comes out as a rant, or if I sound spoiled..</p>