Advice Needed!! Dad forbade me from majoring in Economics

Parents Forum
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A little bit of background: I’m a female rising sophomore at NYU CAS. I came into NYU pursuing medicine, but I’m not so sure of that now. I don’t feel like I have a strong passion in any area, I just have interests in certain industries and I’m willing to learn and work very hard at attaining those skills; however, my parents are a big problem right now. I come from a very very orthodox Muslim family but I don’t hold the same beliefs my parents do (although they aren’t aware of that). I’m at NYU through financial aid and my parents aren’t paying a dime for my college tuition since I’m on scholarship, however, my scholarship only covers tuition so I commute from home.

In April/May, my dad asked me what I wanted to major in, and I told him “I’m thinking of economics.” He freaked out, he told me “I would hate you forever if you ever worked in corporate.” My dad holds very traditional views on things, and since he’s an immigrant he doesn’t understand how the university system works here. He believes that the subject you study in college will directly result in the kind of industry you work in (i.e. pursuing biology would result you becoming a biologist/working in the healthcare industry). This isn’t true at all, obviously, majority of graduates don’t work in a job related to their major. The reasons he doesn’t want me major in econ, ergo end up working in corporate, are because he thinks that women get bribed by their boss for sex to get a raise, I wouldn’t be able to hold onto to Islam while working with men, and because anything in the corporate world involves interest (like the interest you pay on a loan) and interest is strictly forbidden in Islam. My brother and I sat with him and talked to him but nothing got through to him. My dad respects my older brother’s opinion, so I thought if my brother defended me that my dad would listen. The whole thing blew up in our face when we tried to explain to him that majoring in econ won’t mean I’ll end up working with interest rates, and that it also doesn’t mean that I’ll get constantly harassed by men. He only understands his views and that’s it, he wouldn’t even attempt to understand what my brother and I were telling him. In fact, every time my brother spoke, he got agitated and started talking over him.

I’m kind of torn right now because I don’t know what to do. I have to declare a major by the end of my sophomore year. I have no idea what to pursue anymore: medicine, econ/finance, or something else all together. If I did econ or finance (and doing finance would require me to internally transfer to Stern) I would have to hide it from my parents, and if they found out I would get kicked out since I live with them. I don’t know if I want to do pre-med, and pre-med isn’t even a major, so I would have to decide a major while also doing the pre-med track. If I end up deciding to do a humanities major with pre-med and don’t get accepted to a med school, I’m gonna be in big trouble. Ideally, I would like to do finance, but lately I’ve been thinking about learning how to code and do web development since that’s an incredibly useful skill, especially for employment after graduation.

Another complicated aspect of this is that I have to graduate within four years while completing a major and completing all the core requirements. Since my scholarship will only cover four years, that means I have to decide if I want to do economics as soon as possible (as in right now because econ can’t be completed in less than 6 semesters). In conclusion, I just want to pursue a major that will be valuable. I want to make sure that my major will teach me skills that I can apply in the real world (and like i said, ideally I’d want to do finance). My biggest concern is getting employed after graduation.

I would really appreciate some advice from adults, and please feel free to PM me if you have any other questions about this situation. I know this post is long and complicated, but I really do appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read all of it. Thank you.

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{{{ hugs }}}

Don’t tell your parents that you hold less strict beliefs than they do. But, you know that already.

I don’t think you can hide a transfer to Stern from your parents since I’m guessing that they insist on looking at your school stuff.

It sounds like your parents not only have issues with “interest” but would have a problem with you working with men much at all. I wonder if they realize that in medicine you’d have to work closely with other men.

Look over the majors in CAS and see what else would work for you…

What subjects do you like?

What about math?

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@mom2collegekids Thanks! (returns virtual hug) I just finished calculus last semester and enjoyed it. I’m kind of iffy about continuing on with math though since i’ve heard horror stories of calc II, and i really don’t want to demolish my GPA.

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I think some kids have nothing to do in the summer. 2 posts poster. Suspicious.

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@DrGoogle i’m just as equally frustrated over this, trust me

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@DrGoogle This is a new account because I didn’t want my identity revealed… regardless of whatever it is you think, i posted here because i needed help and advice, not so people can suspect me of my intentions or whatever it is you think i’m up to

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I hope you are not a ---- but I’m suspicious by the comment women get bribed by their bosses to have sex for raise. And then bring Islam in. Even more suspicious.
I hope you are not what I think you are but the above are my reasons for suspicion.

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Maybe instead of talking about major with your dad, your can talk about career choices. I was just thinking about all the people I know who went into finance. Nobody I know is doing banking. You need people with finance degrees in education, social services, health care, the list just goes on. Can you tell your dad you are working towards a career in X and then just go about your business at school. Perhaps seeing your choices in terms of outcome rather than major could let him see things differently.

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@DrGoogle Be suspicious all you want, it is what it is. I obviously think it’s complete BS, so does anyone else with half a brain

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Math and statistics are heavily used in economics. Indeed, a math or statistics major with economics electives can be well qualified for going on the PhD study in economics, and an economics major intending to do that needs to take additional advanced math and statistics courses. So if you like economics, math, and statistics, the latter two can be options while still allowing you to do economics.

What majors does your father consider acceptable? Does he realize that most kinds of work involve interacting with both women and men? This is true even in predominantly Muslim countries or regions. Benazir Bhutto, Khaleda Zia, Tansu Çiller, Sheikh Hasina, Cissé Mariam Kaïdama Sidibé, and Sibel Siber doubtlessly had to interact with men while doing their jobs. Knowledge of economics certainly would be useful for someone doing such a job.

Knowledge of CS is generally useful, though you may have to wait until after you take the first CS course to have an idea of whether you want to major in it. Of course, jobs associated with CS tend to have men working there.

Of course, physicians, other health care workers, and biologists also have to interact with both women and men in their jobs. Some of the medical problems that physicians and health care workers have to deal with involve activities and body parts normally kept private.

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@LKnomad My dad doesn’t really think you can work in any other industry other thank banking or the corporate world if i do finance, and there’s no convincing him of anything otherwise. My brother and I already attempted at explaining to him that everything isn’t so clear cut and narrow, but he doesn’t want to listen. The hardest part in all this is convincing him

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Try going to career services at your college, and ask them for s list of companies accepting Econ majors on their interview schedules. Also see if they can give you a list of companies where Econ majors have gotten jobs. Pick out some your dad might approve of (if there are any) and tell him. Or have your brother do it.

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@ucbalumnus I would major in math, but I keep hearing how math majors are kind of useless nowadays (i’m not sure about this - correct me if i’m wrong). I’m also scared of going up to calc II because it might plummet my GPA. As for my dad, i think he does realize i’d have to interact with men to a degree, but he thinks that the interaction is a lot heavier in the banking/corporate world than it is elsewhere. He basically told me to major in anything else other than economics (or anything related to interest rates in that matter).

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Math majors’ post-graduation career directions commonly involve finance, computing, or teaching math (in each case, out-of-major elective choices would help in the preparation). Obviously, we know your father’s objection to finance, though not all finance involves interest (e.g. stock/equity investments, or [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukuk]sukuk[/url] financial instruments).

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I know what your dad’s like because I’m middle eastern myself, though not Muslim. You say he’s traditional and doesn’t understand the US university system, so is he also naive like most traditional middle eastern parents? If so, lie to him if you want. You need to stay on his good side since you’re commuting, so either lie or just major in something else. After 4 years, your father will hold no more power over you.

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I understand that interest/usury is a big deal to strict Muslims, but your dad hasn’t heard of Islamic finance?

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And he doesn’t object to you examining men, as a doctor?

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Are there really immigrant Muslims named Silverstein?

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@OspreyCV22 Not my real name obviously…

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I’m very confused. Does your father believe all the people who work in business and banking in Islamic countries cannot be good Muslims?

Your father wants you to work in medicine and touch naked male strangers all day long but is not ok with you working in an office where men work? Also confused.