Advice on my common app essay?

<p>It’s not difficult to find lenient parents who only want their child to do their best. However, this isn’t the case with Asian-American parents. Forgive me for using stereotypes, but it’s rare to find Asian-American parents who aren’t strict. Even though my parents were forced to immigrate from Vietnam because of the war, and even though they’ve had it tough, they still take it easy on me. For them, it was never about “if” they could achieve their goals, but “when” they would achieve them. I believe in their words, and when it came to school I just did the best I could. However, a certain event skewed this belief of mine, and a matter of “believing I will succeed” transformed to an idea of “I must succeed”. </p>

<p>I knew I had to succeed because of the situation concerning my brother. During my last year of middle-school, my brother had been expelled from Bellarmine College Preparatory half way into his junior year for marijuana usage. The weeks after my brother was caught were probably the most stressful and saddest weeks of my entire life. My parents were constantly having shouting matches against my brother, sobbing while asking “Why? Why?” over and over again. My mom and dad felt as if they had failed being parents. My brother, while apologizing to my grieving parents, defended his actions which produced even more friction and resentment. Meanwhile, I’m upstairs in a daze, unable to finish homework or study, or do anything. The only thing I could do was think of was how much my life was going to change.</p>

<p>This incident struck the core of my very being. I felt terrible sadness for my parents and terrible bitterness towards my brother, who had squandered my parent’s love and their money. I resented my brother during those weeks. I ignored him when he was talking to me and avoided at looking at him at all costs. However, while all these awful feelings were welling up inside of me, another feeling came into my head: determination. Determination to give my parents something they could be proud of which would make them forget their sadness. I needed to outshine my brother in every possible way to erase his failings. From that point on, I studied very hard in order to get accepted into Bellarmine. When I did receive my acceptance letter, my parents were overjoyed. I declared to my parents that four years later, I would be studying at an excellent university. My parents felt like parents again.</p>

<p>This experience brought me intense pain, but at the same time it gave me something to work for: my parent’s happiness. This event has transpired inside my mind during my high school career. My brother has gotten back on the right track, and now, I have a very close relationship with him. However, I still haven’t forgotten my brother’s mistake and the impact it had on me. For my parents and for myself, I need to become the son that my brother could never be. </p>

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<p>Also, on the last paragraph, this may be a silly question but on "my parent’s happiness", is it supposed to be parent's or parents'. Anyway, please let me know what you think. It has 508 words, 8 over the limit, that's permissible right?</p>

<p>You’re basically saying that the only reason you’re getting a higher education is to please your parents. Maybe you should talk about some of your intrinsic motivations for pursuing a college education?</p>