<p>Thanks for the advice. Now I deleted to make sure no one steals it.</p>
<p>Nice essay, but I think you’ve concentrated too much on your father and not enough on yourself. The essay needs to be about you. Another piece of advice: do not post essays for all to read- you never know who may copy your essay and submit it as their own, and if you by chance applied to the same school, you may appear to be the one who plagiarized.</p>