<p>Greetings,
My S made up his mind it's the University of Miami! He was deciding between the U of Maryland (got into honors college there) and USD. The U made a generous scholarship offer but so did USD and University of Maryland (which for instates like us is cheaper to begin with). Almost got him to consider Brown but in the end could not get him to agree to a visit etc. Too much work...
He is a smart kid and did well at the private Catholic all boys school, but likes to "chill" argh. He could have done better, did the bare minimum to get good grades (no studying for SAT).
We are vaguely concerned since he seems to have a party deficit (from being in an all boys school etc.). Are there ways to steer him into the right dorm for example (i.e. one where studying rather than partying is considered cool).
I know the U is a good school and I am happy for him. I think he will have a great experience, but I would like to find out if there are some obvious things to do for a kid like him.
Does anybody know if the U does special programs for their students on an academic scholarship? Is there something that we as parents should do?
Thank you for any advice!
And oh yes, go CANES!!</p>
<p>Okay, this is probably going to sound so ridiculous, especially coming from someone of my age, but I swear it’s probably true.</p>
<p>Talk to him. </p>
<p>We’re your kids, yes. But we’re in college now. We’re adults, too. Sitting down and talking adult-to-adult, saying what you expect, finding out what he expects, and coming to a mutual agreement on what will work best for both parties involved will yield a much better result than anything you could do “as a parent” or he could do “as a kid.”</p>
<p>Yes, there are substance-free floors in Freshman dorms. And look into those if they are something that best suits the agreement you come to. My parents have a habit of signing up for the newsletters that we as students get and then sending me an email with just the parts that I would be interested in, assuming I didn’t read the newsletter (which, often, I didn’t, and I get to do something I wouldn’t have before). And although Hecht has the bigger party reputation, it doesn’t matter which one you live in. They’re less than 100 yards apart.</p>
<p>My advice as a student: treat him like an adult. If you’re okay with him occasionally going out to party, tell him that. But immediately back it up with the fact that you’re expecting him to do pretty well in school. What do you expect? Then find out what he’s thinking. You might be surprised and find out that it’s the same.</p>
<p>the freshman dorm is one of the more strict dorms. I think its called Hecht, I’m not sure.</p>
<p>I also know that UM allows delegate access to myUM, meaning you can check his grades frequently.</p>
<p>With all that said, JJ227 has the much better idea. Telling him “Don’t party, remain focused, I’m paying for this, etc.” probably wouldn’t work. I’d tell him to keep in moderation, and to treat him like an adult</p>
<p>As a UM parent, I couldn’t have nearly said anything as good as what JJ227 and primetimekin have said. </p>
<p>As I wrote to my son when he graduated HS: “I learn more from you then you will ever learn from me”</p>
<p>Still holds true…</p>
<p>OKay DO NOT PUT HIM IN SUBSTANCE FREE FLOORS. it means absolutely nothing at Miami.</p>
<p>I know kids on those floors who drink. and everyone not on those floors still gets caught.</p>
<p>Just tell him…if he gets caught with alcohol it’ll be 75$ fine each time (it is) and he’ll have to pay it
Also…if you lose a 3.5 gpa you lose your scholarship…</p>
<p>but I agree. just talk to him!</p>
<p>Stanford is the dorm known for being more studious. </p>
<p>And yes, the RAs are strict. I think some people are shocked by that because Miami has this “party” rep. Let me repeat “the parties happen off campus”!!!</p>
<p>Thank you everybody for the input, very good suggestions!</p>
<p>As a parent of a UM 2nd year engineering major, I would say that the U is no different than any other college that has younger bright adults looking to learn and expand their life experience. There will be serious students and those that like to partake of the fruits of Miami. </p>
<p>My kid tells me that the dorms all have their range of behavior. He says it matters more about your roommates and suitemates. His suitemates are two seniors that are very ambitious and focused. One taking MCATs and the other doing grad schools applications. The roommate is very focused as he is also pre-med and the four of them are always on the move with little time to spare outside of their course work, etc. </p>
<p>Consider letting your young adult explore and develop on their own. If you were a good parent then it will be reflected in the decisions that your young adult makes. Our kid made his own decisions and the fact that we stayed out of the process provided for tremendous growth and development. Good luck.</p>
<p>BaghDAD, I am not sure I understand that exactly (learn more from you…), but it sounds sort of cool.</p>
<p>sounds like your son is a good kid. he got into the U damn nice acommplishment. just keep in touch with him. i agree talk to him. let him know what his time at the U can do for him and the rest of his life. congrats.</p>