I am seeking advice regarding college applications for my daughter who is applying to colleges next year. Last year, our family suffered a severe tragedy of a most personal nature. It destabilized our home life in a drastic way, and affected my daughter directly. It brought her grades and test scores down in her critical Junior year. I feel schools should know that she went through something terrible, was incredibly brave and strong, and has come out on the other side with an amazingly positive perspective. This is not a matter that people discuss in polite company, and I would rather not divulge the details of the situation, as we are working very hard to put it all behind us.
How best to communicate this to the schools she is applying to? I don’t think she should talk about it in any of her essays directly. I have heard some school counselors can write a letter and include it in an application, but we don’t necessarily have the best relationship with ours. Is there another way to communicate this discretely and directly without causing too much of a fuss while still allowing schools to understand her extenuating circumstances?
Thank you to all who reply, I appreciate your time and advice.
My first thought would be your college counselor but it sounds like that may not be your best option. I wonder if your family physician, or the school principal could write something on behalf of your daughter. You could include this in supplemental materials or as an added reference. Another option would be to email the admissions offices of the schools your daughter plans to apply and ask them where they recommend you include such information. If all else, perhaps a parent statement could be attached, especially if it includes supporting documentation. I think you’ll need to present this information in a way that differentiates your daughter’s very valid reason for a drop in grades from those who make up an excuse for their drop in grades which seems all too common. I wish you the best of luck!
The guidance counselor would be my first choice, but the school report does not necessarily have to be from the Guidance Counselor. It could come from another administrator who knows her better, as one option - but remember the GC is still likely to have a hand in the process, and could cause problems if offended by such a choice. It could also be addressed by a teacher who had her during junior year. It could be addressed in one of her personal essays, if done very carefully - not so much addressing what happened, but what she learned about herself because of what happened. We will be facing a similar situation next year, to explain a difficult sophomore year. We’re seeing significant turnover with staff at the school, so not sure the best person to address it will even be there when she’s applying. Will be following, to see what everyone else suggests.
Hopefully your daughter’s first marking period grades will show a significant level of “recovery.”
Can she retake the SAT/ACT? I understand how a drop in grades for classes can’t really be changed, but it there was a problem that has now passed, she should be able to retest and show what she’s capable of achieving. Often schools look for a rise in the scores or gpa if there was an unexpected drop.
It can be briefly mentioned in the application as a reason for an unusual downturn in her grades. No need to detail beyond noting that a family tragedy occurred during this month that adversely affected her grades.
Too much detail may scare readers & raise concern of ongoing issues that may affect her college life.
This is not a topic for the essay. This definitely should be addressed by her guidance counselor, or a teacher who knows her well. If it was a medical/legal matter for which you have letters, documents, etc…, put this in the additional info section.
The essay is all about giving them a reason to say yes, showing an insight into the person behind the application, being a likable person, and writing something that hopefully keeps the reader interested. If your daughter wants to write about the incident, she can, but bear in mind that if she does, it should be an attempt to elicit sympathy.
No. Please minimize this matter. Do not try to elicit sympathy. You want an acceptance, not sympathy. The school may worry that the problem is so huge that your daughter has not overcome the matter and that it will affect her mental health & well being while a student.
Do not send medical or legal letters or get others involved unless absolutely necessary.
And it should not be an essay topic as it seems clear that it is still an ongoing trauma for your family.
I should clarify: I meant to say the essay should NOT be an attempt to elicit sympathy. And if the incident did indeed cause grades and test scores to be sub par, especially grades, and was as severe as you say, then yes, it should be addressed in the application, but NOT in the essay.
I agree with the above - do not have your daughter center her essay around this, have an administrator at the school address the situation in the letter of recommendation, have your daughter retake either the SAT/ACT, and rock senior year.
Good luck to all of you. Sounds like you all went through hell and back.
Thank you to everyone for the advice. I will check with the counselor first and see if she is willing to do this discreetly for my daughter. If it doesn’t seem to be the right fit, I will ping her English instructor, who has already written two letters of rec for her.
I have had her re-take the SAT and ACT. However, the trauma happened the night before her first test sitting, and I’m afraid she gets terrible anxiety the night before each test. So, her scores don’t really match up to her GPA. Her GPA did recover to some degree in the spring. So, we have a mis-match. 4.2 GPA; 1250 SAT; 27 ACT.
And, I appreciate the perspective of making it short and sweet, and then letting them know she is over it and has grown as a person through it. Which is all true.
So her GPA hasn’t really been affected, but the incident occured the night before a test. Your daughter’s test scores are pretty much the same. Was one test taken befroe the incident? Is the GPA unweighted? The test scores aren’t bad. Given that she actually has very good stats, despit the incident, I am not sure how much a guidance counselor needs to say, to be honest. It’s notable that she managed to rebound on her grades. If she can handle it, she can consider retaking the tests.
If need-based financial aid is a requirement, the sub-list of schools that meet full need and are test-optional is:
Bowdoin College (ME)
Smith College (MA)
Wesleyan University (CT)
Bates College (ME)
Bryn Mawr ¶
College of the Holy Cross (MA)
Pitzer College (CA)
Mount Holyoke College (MA)
Skidmore College (NY)
Trinity College (CT)
Union College (NY)
Dickinson College ¶
Whitman College (WA)
Franklin and Marshall College ¶
Connecticut College (CT)
Wake Forest University (NC)
Her test scores aren’t abysmal, but as you say, they’re not at the level of her GPA/transcript. So test-optional could be a great way to go. If need-based aid isn’t a constraint, there are more excellent options on the full list.
The other question is whether your d is eager to hit the ground running in college, or whether another “regrouping” year would benefit her. A gap year wouldn’t preclude a change of scene - she could do a super-senior year abroad as an AFS exchange student, or do a program like City Year, etc. in a whole different part of the country. It sounds like she has been through a lot, and life is not a race. In addition to the possible emotional benefits of an extra year doing something worthwhile before college, taking a gap year would allow her to count her senior grades in her GPA when she applies (which I assume are likely to be even higher than her baseline GPA) and to take her time preparing (both content-wise and emotionally) for a retake of the standardized tests and perhaps even get accommodations (extra time, private testing area, longer breaks, etc.) based on her anxiety/PTSD related to testing. Of course, the gap year idea might not appeal at all, but just running it up the flagpole.
Good luck to all of you; sounds like you’ve really been through the wringer.
Hello again all, thank you again for your input and support!
Her GPA took somewhat of a hit. We are in California, and we both really want to see her at a UC school. If you are familiar with the situation and politics of what is going on here in CA, you will know that a 4.2 doesn’t guarantee you anything here. So, thus, the concern. The UC system is what I can afford as a single parent as well. We are looking at some privates that will give her some merit aid, but they don’t seem to fit her personality. We are looking at a few test optional schools like GWU, and will be applying. But, then we are dependent on also landing aid, so again, no guarantees.
If it all goes south on us, she will TAG (transfer admission guarantee) into one of the UC’s. She is graduating with so much college credit already that she will only need to take one year of community college to qualify.
She will also only be 17 years old when she graduates high school. So, I am in full support of a gap or TAG year for her. However, her strongly voiced wishes are for her to go back to life as normal. She wants to go off to school like her friends, she doesn’t like being an exception.
So, I want to support her drive to be normal, but also support her needs to take some time. That is why I am still trying to figure out the best way to help her apply at this point in her life. But, there are many years and many roads ahead of us, who knows where they will lead.
In regards to the test. I’ve given her a 6 month break now from trying to retest. So, we are hoping much has passed, and she will have a new perspective on it this time around.
Have you calculated her UC weighted-capped GPA? This doesn’t include freshman grades, so unfortunately it amplifies the effect of a dip in sophomore or junior year, and it also limits the ability of weighting to compensate by counting only 8 semesters of “grade-bump,” no matter how many AP/Honors classes were actually taken. This is the number you’ll need to use in looking at UC admissions stats. (Taking a gap year would mean that senior grades would count as well, which could be helpful, but it would not increase the number of semesters of weighting permitted.) https://rogerhub.com/gpa-calculator-uc/
Have you looked into OOS schools on the WUE program? http://wue.wiche.edu/search1.jsp This brings down the price of some OOS publics to be even more affordable than UC. You haven’t mentioned what your daughter wants to study, so it’s hard to point to specific schools that would be a fit, but U of Utah is a particular bargain and is a high quality flagship academically - plus, it offers an Honors College experience that has no parallel in the UC system https://honors.utah.edu/ A lot of Californians shy away from Utah, thinking it will be too conservative, etc. but UofU is really nothing like those stereotypes, and the mix of being in a major city and yet half an hour from skiing and other stunning outdoor recreation is pretty amazing. Other top programs through WUE include Colorado State and Washington State, as well as both the Nevada flagships.
The impulse to do the “normal” thing is completely understandable. But 17 is young (speaking as someone who started college at 17), and the TAG plan as you describe it would have her starting her junior year at a UC at 18! What language has she studied in high school? Maybe the idea of a super-senior year in a [ ]-speaking country could be perceived as an exciting opportunity (and true foreign language fluency would be a huge lifetime asset) rather than something abnormal or remedial. It might at least be worth doing some legwork to keep this option open. If she’s not happy with her list of acceptances in the spring, and it comes down to a TAG year vs. a year abroad and reapplying, the year abroad might start to look appealing. Everyone I have known who has done it has called it one of the best experiences of their lives - and a full year of language/cultural immersion is an opportunity students don’t have the same freedom to pursue once college starts. https://www.afsusa.org/study-abroad/programs
Anyway, it sounds like you’re thinking through all the options and supporting her in every way possible… and it sounds like she has the drive to get where she wants to go. Good luck with the process!
^^ Yes, that’s an example of “text flexible.” In addition to Hamilton, other test-flexible schools include URochester, NYU, Middlebury, Drexel, Colorado College, and Colby.
