I probably shouldn’t say this, but I’ve had more issues with women than men. There are jerks in both groups, of course.
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There are plenty of jerks around.
I think the issue is the advice that women interested in engineering get. Years ago it was “Engineering? All that math and science? You won’t be able to handle it.” Today it’s “Engineering? So male-dominated? You won’t be able to handle it.”
I believe the word for this is “progress”.
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D20 is a MechE student in a large southern flagship; she’s never experienced that type of reaction. She found most of the MechE guys to be very accepting, maybe because they rely on her to correct their math 
I think it may have been more difficult if she didn’t understand the Marvel multiverse or D&D than because she was female.
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If that’s the case, she should revisit whether UCLA, UCSD, UW, and CU are fits too. They all have big classes.
Oh, I agree young women don’t hear this from actual engineers. They hear it from well-meaning guidance counselors, both professional and people just trying to help.
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My daughter goes to Rice and I also think it sounds like a great fit. Yes, it’s in the middle of a conservative state, but Houston is more liberal and very diverse and the campus itself is very much so. Honestly, my daughter had all but ruled it out because it was in Texas but besides THAT it sounded exactly like what she was looking for so she applied. Once accepted we visited and she felt Houston did not feel southern and the campus itself definitely not. Her friends are a very diverse group and several are very involved in Pride groups and such on campus. She’s an engineering major and while it probably varies a bit by concentration, I think her classes are about 50/50 male to female.
As for the weather - it’s hot and humid the first month or so of class but the rest of the year is kind of amazing. We live in the upper midwest and are pretty jealous of her most of the winter.
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Yea, having lived there for 4 years, gotta disagree. The average humidity year 'round in Houston is just below 80%. Not “amazing.” It’s not classified as a “humid, subtropical climate” without reason. 
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There are a lot of great suggestions in this thread and as a parent who has gone through this process once with an engineering daughter and is going through it now with an engineering son, there are so many factors in first putting together a good application list and then making a decision about where to attend. My advice would be to make sure that the list focuses on (1) schools strong in the engineering she’s interested in, but also with enough breadth should she change her mind within engineering; (2) the type of environment she thinks she will thrive in, but not so limited as to only apply to schools that are very similar to one another; and (3) size/location and those other factors that may not be as important but may (or may not) matter to your kid. At the end of the day, it is very unlikely that there is a perfect school (one that checks every box) and even less likely your student is actually admitted to that school (especially if it is a highly-selective or selective school). So it is really important for aspiring engineering students to put together a thoughtful and solid list for applications. Once your daughter finds some schools she really likes then try to find others that have those same qualities - including ones that aren’t brand names or are smaller/bigger than her ideal. A solid list will set her up well when it comes time to make a decision. Good luck!
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Yeah, I guess living in the upper midwest where we are below zero and have a couple feet of snow on the ground for several months of the year, it’s all perspective. When it’s December and already dark here and too cold to spend much time outside and our daughter is sitting outside where it’s still light out in a sweatshirt, we are pretty jealous. She prefers the weather there to here and is pretty happy there after August until the end of the school year. But, I am not such a fan of humidity so I would probably feel differently about it.
Well, maybe the “sub” part of “subtropical”. 
The humidity is something awful. They don’t call it the William Rice Marsh for nothing.
That said, if you can get past the climate, I agree Rice is an excellent choice.
I would agree wholeheartedly!
My husband got a good job offer in Houston when we were fresh out of engineering grad school. I told him I would live just about anywhere in the world except Houston! Yes, the heat and humidity are that bad. Plus the traffic and lack of zoning laws.
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When my wife and I graduated from Optometry School, we determined that the only way we’d stay in Houston is if they’d pay us twice as much as we could make anywhere else in the US.
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Wow OP here, thanks all ha. Re Rice - intriguing but like a poster above I can’t really imagine my D going to the Taliban state of Texas whatever the weather…
The whole engineering or not decision is indeed a hard one. Many years ago I was one of very few women in my major (physics) and although had lots of great times at college, unlike posters above I did face a lot of exclusion and rampant sexual harassment that back in the day we accepted as a fact of life but that I would never want my daughters to face. Also a phenomenon I see with the nice engineering guys (with exceptions for sure) is that they are indeed very accepting if a person shares the world view, attitudes, interests, etc of white cis het males even if that person isn’t actually a cis het white male. But they are not, in my experience, particularly open to actually different perspectives and people who hold them - one reason engineering schools and the profession has had such a hard time with becoming at all diverse.
In any case, WPI was a great suggestion and so is not dismissing UMichigan out of hand due to size. I do want my d to seriously consider engineering but only at a school where she can find her tribe and be in a diverse and inclusive environment.
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I like WPI, quite a bit, but the original question was:
Your proximity in the NE area is what really sealed the deal. There are LOTS of good schools out there, but if you want to go kick tires of one that’s reasonably close to home, you could do worse.
Good luck!
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Places become diverse by more people who aren’t X (white, male, straight, WASP) go there, when they are willing to break into the system and change it. CU engineering looks a whole lot different in 2021 than it did in the 1980s when my friends were 10% of the COE.
No matter which school and which major she chooses, she’s going to have to deal with someone who doesn’t want her there, be it because they don’t like women or LBGQ+ people, or just because they are jealous of her grades. That can happen in engineering or nursing or art or Spanish majors.
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If you are in New England, could part of this (at least race /ethnicity) be regional? New England is not a particularly diverse region compared to some others. The engineering students at a flagship university in CA, HI, or NM may be demographically different from those at a flagship university in ME, NH, or VT, at least in race / ethnicity.
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This is true of many people, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation or career path. This is America, and right now, is becoming true in much of the world. It’s sad and unfortunate to watch.
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Yes, I certainly wouldn’t NOT major in engineering if I was not like the majority of students (and I wasn’t). Like I said, I think a lot of young engineering students are open to other people and friendly. That’s one thing I’ve enjoyed about my engineering career - it’s a nice group to work with (and I’ve been in this field for 35 years now). 
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True, but she told me some intro classes were in the 700s at UCB. Which is different than 400-500. And the rest of my statement about guaranteed freshmen housing still stands, UCB does not guarantee it will house freshmen, and it would be too much of a headache if that situation happened to us. I’ve read some sad stories about the housing problem at UCSD this year too. At least we have family nearby-ish for UCLA.
On our school visits this summer, we were able to see some classrooms and it was good for D to see that a room that holds 200 wasn’t as terrible as she imagined. We were unable to see any really huge lecture halls though.
Finding an engineering tech school that’s on the small to medium side is not difficult. Finding one that has engineering and liberals arts that size is more challenging. Add in LGBTQ friendliness and living in a state that doesn’t target you further narrows the choices. Summer internships and possibly staying in the area after graduation calls for looking beyond just the 4-5 years of college IMO.
The other thing we’ve run across is that, for the most part, the engineering facilities are bigger and better equipped in the larger schools.
We’re not going to find the “perfect” school, just finding ones that check off the most boxes is the best we can do. As I posted previously, her safety school is looking better and better as time goes on. It’s just a “let-down” since she’s worked diligently, and has the grades and test scores to go to a higher tier school than the one that everyone else in high school will be going to.
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