Personally from my own experience, I am not the best looking person. Of course if I had plastic surgery or if anyone here got plastic surgery, it would up the chances of someone feeling attracted to them. But that’s not really how it starts, ESPECIALLY in college.
In high school, everyone had their own groups. There were the nerds, good looking hipsters, etc. In college, NOBODY cares. As a matter of fact, I see a lot of VERY pretty girls having successful relationships with men that honestly aren’t the best looking and she could’ve easily done better.
Moral of the story: If she goes for your looks, I doubt it’ll end in happiness. Sure looks give you this door but so does personality. If I never asked the girl that I am currently with to dinner, she would never know who I am. She fell for ME, not my looks.
Besides… imagine using $5-6K on school, getting a great job and building your social skills. Oh look! A better investment.
I don’t think the OP has done a great job of convincing people that he’s serious, but I think people are over blowing the “looks don’t matter in attracting mates” line.
Of course what’s inside someone is much more important that what they look like. But let’s be honest. Looks matter a lot in initial attraction. I’m not trying to make the OP feel bad. I just think it’s worse when people lie to try to make someone feel better.
I’m sure the OP doesn’t NEED cosmetic surgery, but I think it’s disingenuous for people to act like it would have no chance of changing his life for the better.
I happen to find women with Romanesque noses attractive, but I’ve seen women with really big noses that I have not been attracted to because their nose was too big for me. Does that mean I couldn’t find them attractive after getting to know them? Of course not. But let’s not act like a physical feature can’t have a negative impact on someone’s looks and their ability to attract mates.
I’m sure the OP, if he isn’t living under a bridge, knows the impact that his nose has on his looks. A bunch of people here trying to tell him that it has no effect is not going to change anything.
I’m not saying that he should have the surgery, but I think he has every right to want it, and I don’t think that makes him vain or superficial.
There’s a difference between having REALISTIC expectations about how cosmetic surgery mighy improve ones’ looks and self-confidence, and having UNREALISTIC expectations that it will be the silver bullet to transform one into a rockstar with Victoria’s Secret models beating down one’s door.
@Soheils, I just reread the OP’s sugar daddy/sugar mamma post. I’m not sure if this is a serious thread, but I don’t have a problem with the thought process behind getting the procedure (increase attractiveness and ability to find a wife), but his means are a bit suspect
@GMTplus7, I didn’t see anything in the posts to suggest that the OP thinks it’s a silver bullet, but I agree with you. Anyone who thinks plastic surgery is going to turn them into a rockstar is probably setting themselves up for disappointment.
@WalknOnEggShells Let us assume that he is serious.
I provided proof for the falsity of his thought process. In egalitarian societies, good looks have a very high value for men. Therefore, some males might assume that the same is true for females. According to the article I cited (Which may or may not be 100% accurate), this is not the case.
In other words, it does not seem like he needs to reshape himself to increase his attractiveness. If the main reason somebody is attracted to another is looks, that person’s attraction might waver when he meets a better looking candidate.
But if he thinks that the way he looks is something that hinders him in many ways, a surgery is understandable, but since his family are unwilling to help him pay, I doubt that this a very necessary cosmetic surgery.
Also, This comment of the OP contradicts what he said here, unless he is pursuing “a very special kind of surgery”:
@Soheils, I’m sure it’s true that women value looks less than men do, but that doesn’t mean that women don’t value looks.
I think the situation gets much better as people get older and mature. I don’t know about where you go/went to college, but where I went, the smart nerds with high earnings potential weren’t exactly cleaning up at the bars. If I remember correctly, it was the dumb jocks with much lower earnings potential who got all of the women.
I don’t know how much stock I would put in a survey of college students that asks the subjects how much they value looks. I think a lot of people will feel like it would be superficial to say they value looks over other qualities. I’m not even doubting that it’s true that they value those other things more than looks, but I think it’s very likely that people will under report how much they value looks. And some of that under reporting could probably be attributed to people lying to themselves.
If you want to see how much college girls value looks, go hang out at some college bars, and come back and tell us how all those nerds with high earnings potential are doing. I’m not trying to be obnoxious - just being honest.
Another thing to consider is long term relationships vs. hookups. A college aged woman might very well realize that the smart guy with the high earnings potential is the better choice as a long term mate, but she’s still probably going home with the quarterback of the football team after the bar closes. Fast forward 20 years and things will be very different, but that’s probably not much consolation to the nerdy Engineering student when he’s in college. Most college guys are not very concerned with finding their wife while they’re in college. They just want to find a girl who will hang out with them.
@WalknOnEggShells I agree with you about short term, But OP was talking about finding a long-term mate. Otherwise , I agree that they might be some lying involved in such surveys. However, the underlying evolutionary principle is sound, so I think that while the survey might have magnified the divide, the difference does exist.
I never said that looks are not valued. What I and GMTplus7 say is that a surgery - one that is not understood even by people who know him - won’t make a significant enhancement.
I also see the truth in your statement about college bars, but one might point out that those who are hanging out in a bar are also a self-selected group, whose sentiments may or may not differ from the rest of the student body.
On the other hand, I can not speak about the particular situation in different colleges.
Just to clarify, I think I said before that all I say is theoretical, since I am an international that will start college in the US next fall. That is why I used surveys, since what is true in my culture may not be true in yours. I am sorry if I gave the impression that I am speaking out of experience, or if I should have not commented without the said experience of living in the US. Since I am not a “dumb jock”, I think I should praise my lucky stars that there won’t be any in my school
I agree with the first sentence. The second one sounds an awful lot like the definition of political correctness to me - something I despise. If giving my honest opinion on here makes me “seem” a certain way, I’m perfectly OK with that. I think we’re all big boys and girls here.
I didn’t see where the OP listed what kinds of procedures he wanted, but I could see how it might be important to fix significantly protruding ears or a seriously receding chin. Might be worth staying at home for a year, going to CC, and having parents help pay.
