<p>I'm having this day of kicking myself in the rear, would love perspective from other parents. My S was denied by three elites, waitlisted at two, and yesterday was just an all-together rotten day. It feels like he worked his tail off on these applications and got nothing out of it, as he'll probably go to a school (still great school, but not elite) that admitted him last December (yes, this all could have been over in December!). Now I'm wondering if we just should have declared victory last fall and kicked back for the rest of the year. </p>
<p>Why? Because this kid could have a full ride at multiple colleges, has received offers of admission with huge scholarships from schools he didn't even apply to, recruited/admitted to several schools that people spend their whole lives hoping to attend...but instead celebrating, it all feels pretty blah. </p>
<p>Is it just the "day after" sting? Was it worth going for the elites? If you're in the same situation, what did you tell your kids?</p>
<p>it does sting a bit, but don't kick yourself---I think encouraging our kids to reach for their dreams, while planning for reality is always good parenting--my s was waitlisted at upenn, rejected at brown, but knew those were reaches for him and just about all kids...he was accepted to brandeis, tufts, wesleyan, wash and lee, tulane--with merit scholarships--he has choices and is okay with ivy rejection--he even created lyrics--to the amy winehouse rehab song--"tried to get into the ivies but they said no, no, no!"--sounds like your son has choices too--focus on those and be proud--remind your son how this is the MOST competitive year probably ever...</p>
<p>I've had people who got into great schools who now wonder if they shouldn't have applied to more elite schools. If they could turn back the clock, they would have applied to some super selective reaches. </p>
<p>The downside, of course, is that you just might get a handful of rejections. But you won't live with "I shoulda, coulda...".</p>
<p>We told our D that she really needed to find a safety that she would really, really be happy attending. Once you've got that school (or schools) identified, then go ahead and take flying leaps after super selective schools, realizing that there's a less than 10% chance of success. We tried to make her see it as a win-win situation. </p>
<p>You're lucky in that your positive news came early. Her negative news came in December and it was a LONG miserable time until the spring.</p>
<p>I told my son that he should feel very proud of where he did get in. He was waitlisted at MIT and Harvard, rejected by Yale and admitted by Brown Dartmouth, Tufts and BC. It was worth a try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Being a cancer survivor I realize that this is not worth getting worked up over.</p>
<p>You would have never known if you hadn't at least tried. There is no shame in sending out applications, even if the schools are far far reaches. The good thing is, he has lots of other options with scholarships included. Not too bad a position to be in.</p>
<p>Thanks - it is a great position to be in and I am sooo proud of him. Just hate to see the kid hurt. My biggest worry is that he'll take away that he failed when, in fact, he has done spectacularly well. </p>
<p>Cracking up on the Rehab lyrics. How about a little ChumbaWumba (sp?) ("I get knocked down, but I get up again...."), toss in some U2 (Acrobat - "Don't let the b**** get you down), with quick spin of Hakuna Matata? Might have to prepare a little iPod torture for the boy to shake him out of his rotten mood (and um, me too). Nothing like driving around with Disney tracks blaring to get a teenager out of a funk.</p>
<p>I think it's worth it. You and your son would be asking "what if" if you hadn't; and it sounds like he certainly had a shot at all of them. And the timing bad! My son started off so well and ended with two rejections. But like ellemenope said, it's better than the other way. He's thrilled with his match school, and is waitlisted for a reach that he's going to hope for. I think waitlisting could be interesting this year. I'm happy with how he's handled the rejection (let's face it, successful high school students don't have a lot of experience with rejection, so maybe it's a good lesson).</p>
<p>In a nutshell, no. D decided to send an application to Brown so she can have at least one sure-bet rejection letter since her friends were all worried about being rejected everywhere. When she got it yesterday, she smiled and said "For that money, shoudda got a nice pair of shoes instead!" But without it, she would have never known her ceiling. OTH, her Wellesley application delivered most bang for the buck - there was no fee for applying online. :)</p>
<p>There is very little "objective" evidence that, once past a certain level whereby there is a reasonably intelligent and diverse student body, the education offered at any of these institutions gain anything from their "superselectivity". These are all fine institutions, with great resources and fine faculties, but there are dozens of others with great resources and find faculties where, in some cases, and depending upon the individual and unique needs of a particular student, the opportunities may be even greater.</p>
<p>AND - if you were going to pay $180k at one of these and ended up at one of these other fine institutions with a free ride, there is no question in my mind that if you chose to spend some part of that saved $180k on other educational opportunities in addition to the college tuition, in about 90% of cases, the education gained at the superprestige institution would be inferior, and in many cases decidedly so (and I can say that having attended one, and taught at one.)</p>
<p>I have to pretty much agree with the previous posters. Our son applied to Ivys as well and experienced rejection. However, I think he would have gone thru life wondering had he not done so. The big difference with him is that he did not pin his hopes on any one particular school. With careful guidance and planning, he applied to reaches (Ivys), matches, and safeties. Yes, the rejection stings, but he knew he would be comfortable wherever he was accepted. And yes, he did not even apply to one of the Ivys where he is a legacy and refused to apply at our local Flagship Uni that offered him full tuition, room and board, a stipend and laptop! He planned very carefully and was already accepted at a well-known school that was his safety that had rolling admissions before he even began the true app process. And to the OP, he ended up attending the school that he was accepted EA in the fall. We still think he did the right thing by applying to the elites. I can also tell you that he remarks now that he is glad that he was rejected/opted not to attend some of those elites. He is very content with his college experience so far as he finishes his soph year. I guess the only downside I see to applying to the elites knowing the numbers, etc. is the costs involved for app fees--it is a risk applying and I can look back now and see several hundred dollars just thrown away. Oh well--</p>
<p>I sat in my son's guidance counselor's office in September in tears thinking he would not get in anywhere that he wanted to attend or would be happy and challenged. She said he should be ranked number 1 or 2 in the school to have a shot at where he wanted to go. (He is #3) His math teacher that same day basically implied he would not get into Georgetown telling us a story of a young man with great stats who did not get in there. </p>
<p>He applied to them all anyway. Was accepted to Georgetown early action, was accepted to UVA with a likely letter, was rejected by Harvard, waitlisted at Brown and accepted by Princeton. (He withdrew applications at Vanderbilt and Hopkins when he heard from Georgetown.)</p>
<p>We were ready to go to Georgetown and Virginia this weekend for a deciding visit and basically assumed the Ivies would be a no go. The first decision he got was the waitlist at Brown. But the next was Princeton where he will attend.</p>
<p>Harvard was disappointing, outright rejected. I think though its a lesson that he cannot get in everywhere - his teacher said it will help him keep his feet on the ground. </p>
<p>It was hard to see him go through the waiting and was hard for us as parents also. But what if he had not applied? There is always a chance. You never know what they are looking for in an applicant.</p>
<p>I am sorry for the kids who are sad. I know we have been lucky and blessed in our outcome.</p>
<p>There are two questions here - one is whether the elites are worth it at all. I think that's a cautious - "it depends, but mostly yes". (Biased here having attended myself.) But whether it's worth it to reach for the stars I think the answer is "almost certainly yes". Otherwise you'll be second guessing yourself forever. The fact is that elite admission really is a crapshoot. The Harvard board was full of kids who had been rejected by schools like Cornell, Brown, Dartmouth, but accepted at Harvard. Kids who got rejected at Harvard were in at Princeton, or Yale or MIT. Looking at the stats there was almost no way to predict which way those decisions would go. </p>
<p>Last year my son got rejected by MIT, Stanford, and Caltech. He got accepted by Harvard, Carnegie Mellon and his two safeties and was waitlisted at Harvey Mudd. As it happens when he looked at the schools more closely, he ended up choosing CMU over Harvard. He's a kid who thrives on being challenged, he needed a school that would challenge and push him. In the end I think at least in his major he's at the more challenging school.</p>
<p>Life has always been easy for him - the rejections were probably good for him and he seems to have found an awfully good fit where he's landed.</p>
<p>I wanted my daughter to apply to the Ivies, and she refused. Mostly because she thought she would not make the cut.
She got admitted to some elites or close-to-elites (Duke,WashU, Emory, Vandy).
And I am thinking.....darn! I wished she would have applied to the ivies.
But on the other hand she is happy as a clam...and I have to remind myself...this is about her and not me......right?</p>
<p>I would want to apply to elites that I love just because I know I would regret it if I didn't....I'd always be questioning, "what if?"</p>
<p>haha good song, Oh My God by the Kaiser Chiefs, "Knock me down and I'll get right back up again/ Come back stronger than a powered up Pac-Man"
=)</p>
<p>Absolutely. If you don't reach for the stars and go after your dreams you will never achieve anything. The best things in life often come from failure. I got cut my first year trying out for soccer. I ended up being captain of my high school team and starting the last two years. Another boy ( who was more talented than I ) who also got cut, quit soccer completely. What a shame. Sure my rejection from Princeton stung. But, I have a great choice between Duke and Dartmouth. Why wallow in pity? Make the most of what you've been given and be thankful that you were given the opportunity. College admissions are like life--a crapshoot! MOve on</p>