Aftermath of College Study Abroad Experiences

<p>I wanted to kind of create an offshoot of another thread where I sort of shifted the thread with my senior daughter's experience, but I think this topic is very important for families where a student is either already abroad now, or will be going abroad for the spring semester. </p>

<p>To recap - D1 spent spring semester abroad in London, in a fantastic program through Syracuse. Syracuse has one of the largest abroad programs, with many of their students cross registering through their own universities that don't offer such comprehensive programs. She mentioned lots of other schools where students came from.</p>

<p>D2 visited her in late March, and I visited her in mid-April prior to her coming home the first week of May. We had somewhat regular contact, but not nearly as much as we do when she's in the states. She had the time of her life - it was her first experience living in an apartment (flat), but handled it superbly. Her flat living was one of the reasons I kept my mouth shut when she said she wanted to return to her sorority house for her senior year, because otherwise I would have encouraged her to have an apartment living experience prior to leaving college (I think it's important, if feasible). </p>

<p>I knew her transition home would be challenging, aside from the fact that while in Europe, she was of legal drinking age, and when she came home most of her friends had turned 21 and she hadn't (by the way, today is her 21st!). I remember her calling us from La Guardia and telling me that she cried when her plane hit the runway because she missed London so much.</p>

<p>Within a few days of being home she also told me that she had been told by a number of girls who sought out counseling after they returned to the states after studying abroad, because the adjustment of being back home (especially if you return home, and not to your campus) is so, well, depressing, and they experience such grief at the life they lived, including the independence (and believe me, she has all the independence she wants at home, but she's living in a house with two parents and a little sister). </p>

<p>She did manage to find a comfort zone at home this summer, although it took some time, but looked forward to returning to school last month. But I think what happened was 'life went on without her' at her campus in Syracuse, and it took her a couple of weeks to realize the dynamics had changed, new friendships had been made, exclusive of the students abroad, and she had a setback. I truly think this is what her call to me earlier in the week was about - a call with a sound of deep sadness and homesickness. In hindsight, and with some suggestions from CC parents, I was able to put this all together, and now can offer a listening ear with new insight. </p>

<p>My point here is to give parents a heads up to any future discomfort that your student my experience upon their return. It's a reality that took some time to bear out in my daughter's life, but was an issue that one of her sorority sisters did kind of imply when she mentioned how many kids seek counseling upon return. I applaud the kids that do reach out for a professional to help them get through the transition - and I trust my own daughter that if she thinks that would be helpful, she will seek it out.</p>

<p>Despite all this, I highly, highly recommend study abroad programs! Do not read this and think, "I don't want my child to have to go through a painful transition upon return." It's such an incredible experience, and even the struggles they face upon return are an impetus for more growing up, just a different kind of lesson.</p>

<p>It is an argument for taking a gap year abroad before starting college instead of interrupting your university experiences. :)</p>

<p>Very interesting topic
my d also had to adjust to being back on campus- but I think part of it was from being a "happy Go Lucky" 5th semester Junior last time she was on campus and returning to campus as a COLLEGE SENIOR!!</p>

<p>I think alot of us have no clue how are kids feel as they get closer to college graduation.
As both my kids go to school upstate NY, we've incorporated a mini-vacation once we get the kids off to school- and we return to campus on our way back home. This year, we were back on campus about a week after classes began. </p>

<p>The college fairs/recruiters were already on campus. My kid who is still adjusting to being back on campus from a carefree semester in Italy, was really taken aback as she is seeing her buddies getting suited up and going on Interviews. I don't think she was ready to see the sharp change from being a college student and seeing her classmates getting ready for the REAL WORLD.</p>

<p>Somehow, I don't think this agitation was caused by her return from her study abroad program but due to the realization that she was now a college senior and she will be leaving the cocoon of college life and will have to plan the next phase of her life.</p>

<p>I think d has settled back to her routine (but she needed a few weeks)-- and she did go to her first Job Fair yesterday. She only brought one suit up to school- so she is now willing and able to go shopping so it looks like she is adjusting to the situation.</p>

<p>Speaking with friends who have had similar situations with their college senior kids, (and kids NOT in study abroad programs) I think Senior Year can be a tough time for alot of kids. They are realizing that they are not kids anymore and they will soon be joining us in our adult world.</p>

<p>No wonder they're stressed out!! IMO this anxiety may not be solely due to the Study Abroad Experience but to the realization that they will soon be graduating college.</p>

<p>My d also absolutely adored her time in Florence. She would not change anything about her semester abroad.</p>

<p>I didn't do a semester abroad, because I loved my school, was only getting eight semesters there, and didn't want to miss out on one. But I wanted the experience of going abroad.</p>

<p>So I did a summer internship abroad, at a lab in Switzerland. I thought it was the best of both worlds. I got the experience of being abroad (and was in a less sheltered environment than a college dorm would have been, living in a downtown boarding house whose owner spoke almost no English), but as my social circle and activities were being interrupted anyway by the usual summer movement of people going off to their summer jobs or adventures, I didn't miss out on that so much. It was great fun. :) </p>

<p>The downside to what I did, compared to a study abroad program, was that as I wasn't part of a student population, and people came and went at the boarding house, I didn't really make friends in Switzerland, other than my friendly post-doc supervisor with whom I still keep in contact. Of course, others are less shy than I am and might do better in that regard.</p>

<p>


</p>

<p>This is exactly what I experienced after having spent my junior year abroad almost 30 years ago. I was quite depressed for a good part of my senior year, and I don't think I had much insight into why I was feeling that way. In retrospect, I have wondered whether only going abroad for one semester might have been a better choice for me, although from the OP's D's situation, even over a semester, much can change. I think I also would have benefited from a friendly "heads up" from an older student (I probably wouldn't have listened to an adult back then!) who had experienced the same feeling upon returning to college. This thread may turn out to be very helpful to current students. (I will say that things were probably different way back when, before email, facebook, etc., and I had relatively minimal contact with friends back at school while I was away.)</p>

<p>This is exactly why I didn't want to study abroad in college. I had a fabulous junior year and I'm so glad I didn't go abroad. I think the experience abroad would not have been right for me. It takes me a while to feel socially at home and junior year was about the time it all gelled for me.</p>

<p>I'm glad you opened this thread, because I was thinking of opening a thread asking how many CC participants have grown up in one country, gone to live in another country, and then GONE BACK to the country of birth. All reports I have heard, and all my experience from having done the above twice, suggest that reverse culture shock is even more upsetting than the culture shock of first being outside the land of one's childhood.</p>

<p>I've heard colleges allude to the "re-entry" adjustment. </p>

<p>I don't know about you, but I am always totally depressed to come back home after time in Europe. LOL. (On the other hand we come back and nothing has changed - darn!) I'm always happy to be in America at the airport - I like the multicultural look we have, and of course, it feels like home, but in no time flat I'm depressed at our car-oriented lifestyle and our social isolation and our ugly architecture, and, and, and...</p>

<p>Anyway, it's a growing experience. Life goes on outside (and even inside) the college bubble. We figure out that things don't really revolve around us - have you ever quit a job and assumed the place would fold without you and, surprise, it doesn't?! We all know the feeling.</p>

<p>Anyway, I'm rambling, but Happy Birthday to your daughter and welcome home.</p>

<p>
[quote]
I don't know about you, but I am always totally depressed to come back home after time in Europe. LOL. (On the other hand we come back and nothing has changed - darn!) I'm always happy to be in America at the airport - I like the multicultural look we have, and of course, it feels like home, but in no time flat I'm depressed at our car-oriented lifestyle and our social isolation and our ugly architecture, and, and, and...

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I am very similar..... My biggest disapointment each time is a visit to a grocery store. I usually come back emptyhanded and close to tears, complaining to family that there is absolutely nothing to buy here in terms of "normal" food :-)</p>

<p>These people are not children. They are young adults. My wife and I were married by the time these "children" have these "growing experiences."</p>

<p>This was not my D's experience at all after doing a study abroad and a leave term junior year, only returning for the spring term and being back for the summer. She loved her study abroad experience, many of her friends were also abroad at the same time so they visted each other in paris, spain, copenhagen in addition to taking short trips with the people from her study abroad group. In addition, blitz (e-mail is how they live in Hanover, so she wasn't out of the loop. She only missed not being able to participate in rush as a big sisiter to the new crop of 10's). </p>

<p>When she came home at the end of the fall term, our house was a stop off point for all of the friends who were flying back through JFK so we had house guest until right before christmas. Winter term, she worked an internship and studied for the LSAT (still had a lot of friends from school who were also interning in the city so they got the opportunity to meet up after work). When they all returned to campus in the spring, she was happy to see students that she had not seem since they left at the end of sophomore summer.
This summer there was again, there were a number of friends who interned in NYC over the summer so it was like Dartmouth comes to NYC. A bunch of them took a mini-vacation to miami and senior year starts on the 26th.</p>

<p>D did purchase a couple of new suits even though she already has a couple of really nice suits (loves shopping so there was no arm twisting) and is finally appreciative of all of the shoes that I bought her when Lord & Taylors had their big shoe sale. She sometimes does have mixed feelings about returning; she is happy and looking forward to senior year, and a little sad as she says it is all happening way to fast.</p>

<p>Really interesting post and topic.
The time on campus really is precious and short, though I guess all kids don't see that. A chance to go to Europe while still a student is also an amazing thing. Senior year would probably be tough for many, no matter what.
Exciting things, even those we want badly, bring stress and then letdown. I have been telling my h.s. senior lately that whatever college she ends up in won't necessarily be wonderful in all aspects -- that transition is hard, that some things won't go as planned. Trying to anticipate that freshman letdown, I guess -- "now I'm here, and this isn't as great as I had dreamed."</p>

<p>S was a senior in HS when he lived in China for a year. He came home in June and went to his prom, graduation, end-of-year parties, etc. Those had to be 2 of the most painful weeks he's ever experienced. Lots of moaning, ie, "I'm not part of their world," etc and so forth. </p>

<p>I think part of his discomfort was related his age. I'm sure he'll mature and mange that transition when he does his year abroad in college. </p>

<p>(I do worry about the kids who were juniors and have to go back to their senior year of HS now. In the words of that old song, "How're ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Pareee!")</p>

<p>bdmrad - your point being?</p>

<p>Hi Sybbie- if your d thinks everything is happening way too fast --wait until she gets back to campus.<br>
Within 2 weeks from when my kid got back to school, the Info sessions were starting (and yes, the kids got "suited" up for general Information sessions), Job Fairs occurred and some kids will be soon interviewing for jobs for next year.<br>
This atmosphere probably fosters the feeling that their college days are pretty much over and they need to prepare for real life. My d and alot of other kids probably just wanted to enjoy their Senior year, but these "distractions" like Job Fairs are not helping the situation and seem to be rushing things way too quickly.</p>

<p>Also most of the job offerings are in the "Corporate World", so if your kid is not looking to join the ranks of Big Business, that too may add to their anxiety, as they see a whole bunch of their classmates are trying to line up jobs NOW for next year.</p>

<p>I think college seniors feel alot of pressure -- Study Abroad or not. </p>

<p>But I will say, my kid had such a great time in Europe, that she is thinking of finding an International post grad Internship and apply to Law School for the following year. She has a plan- so things seem to be moving along ok.</p>

<p>My DD spent the end of a summer and fall of junior year in Chile (It is a 5 month term). I think it works out much BETTER than taking off the spring term, because if you go abroad fall semester, you quickly have spring term to reintegrate into campus life. If you go spring term, then a LOOOONG summer separates you from campus life, and when you return in the fall, many friends have graduated. JMHO! DD didn't have many reentry problems.</p>

<p>anxiousmom- I think you make a good point. But as my kid wanted one less winter in Upstate NY, she opted for the spring semester abroad. But if weather is not an issue, fall semester of Junior year, might be the way to go!!</p>

<p>Hi Marny,</p>

<p>Resume drop started in August and you are right the first round of recruiting starts about 3 weeks after they get back to campus. So far the only things that are posted are IB/Consulting jobs (some of the friends took and turned down jobs at the end of the summer). She and a number of friends are not necessarily interested in the IB/ consulting route. There were a few things she said she will toss her hat in the ring for. She is looking into other things including an overseas program (also waiting before applying to law school) so that all of her eggs are not in the corp recruiting basket.</p>

<p>Anxiousmom,</p>

<p>With pretty much the entire class being together for sophomore summer, many juniors take off the fall/winter terms returning in the spring and bringing some things to closure (like watching your friends who were ahead of you graduate).</p>

<p>My two girls went to Rome for a semester; granted they both went sophomore year so we didn't have to deal with the senior year issue. They had the best experience possible living in downtown Rome and exploring Europe! But both experienced a real adjustment period coming back to campus life. </p>

<p>When you live in Europe, (or whatever country) and step out the door into centuries of a different culture, art, architecture, history, urban city life, etc. It's bound to be a bit mundane to return to campus life. Daughter #1 called her first week back complaining how "boring" it was on campus. I told her she fell in love with it once, to get out of her dorm room and become involved again! Daughter #2 had the entire summer off, but still had a bit of a down period upon returning this fall. Happily, it didn't last long in either case.</p>

<p>Below is a link to a article by Dennis White, PhD, a psychologist in Stugeon Bay, Wisconsin who has studied the psychological processes involved in exchanges, and works with our Rotary District on some of the issues for returning exchangers. This is in reference to year long Rotary HS or gap year exchangers, but the issues hold true for semester long exchanges as well. </p>

<p><a href="http://www.scrye.org/rotex/so_you_think_you.htm%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.scrye.org/rotex/so_you_think_you.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>