Ah! Essay!

<p>So I have started to try to write my college app essay and things are going pretty badly so far. I wrote an essay, but as my dad so nicely put it, "it's crap." </p>

<p>If anyone has a few minutes can you please read my essay and maybe it will give you a slight idea of who I am. I need to know if any of the ideas in it are worth salvaging or if anyone has any new ideas for me to run with. If you can, be specific on what you do or more likely don't like. </p>

<p>My parents already ripped it apart so feel free to be brutal. I'll be upset, but don't worry I'll get over it. (I'm not really worried about grammar now, just the ideas.)</p>

<p>Thank you in advance to anyone who helps and if you are willing to read my essay tell me and i'll send it to you in a private message.</p>

<p>Sure you can pm it to me. I'll reply within this weekend. I won't be brutal....:) (Try not to be with my son either).</p>

<p>oh and I hate to say this, but I would rather not have prospective students evaluate it for me because I wouldn't want their essays to influence me nor my essay to influence them.</p>

<p>What about parents of prospective students? I've a D who is a rising senior.</p>

<p>sure :)</p>

<p>Ummm, Dads tend to be pretty supportive. Can you share WHY he thought it was crap. (E.g., was it grammer, structure, topic, too little focus, lack of personality, etc.?) Or was it, gulp, viewed as being unworthy of an Ivy League application?</p>

<p>I am a parent and an attorney. You can pm it to me, if you want.</p>