Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<p>Well, as of April 10th, I am officially losing my mind. Here's the deal:</p>

<p>For a long time, I wanted to go to Skidmore. I was accepted into their honors forum, but they gave me very little money. Because of this, I sort of had to rule out Skidmore.</p>

<p>I was also accepted at Oberlin, which was starting to sound pretty cool. However (I know I'll get alot of arguments about this one), my friend who i was supposed to be going with is now probably going to another school, thereby leaving me alone in Ohio. I've been getting the impression that Oberlin preaches diversity, but in reality shuns you if you aren't an overly-eccentric person fighting for minority rights. While I used to consider myself a definate liberal, lately i've just been disgusted at the idea of having such strict labels. Im a nice guy, but I'm also finished organizing anti-war marches. I also get the impression that Oberlin is the haven for the "freaks and geeks" (taken from another website) from high school. I'm a nice, popular guy, and I'd definately feel uncomfortable if Oberlin is what I think it is.</p>

<p>I was also accepted at SUNY Binghamton. I'm from Long Island, so obviously I wouldn't have a hard time finding people I could relate to. However, there are lots of drawbacks. I'm not a very jappy person, though I hang out with them. I'm not a big partier. I'm looking for a great education, which is debatable at Binghamton. Also, Im considering doing something with Pych or English, and I've heard the Pych department is awful.</p>

<p>What would the College Confidentialists advise me to do? And is there anyway to get more money from SKidmore if I show them that Oberlin (a much higher ranked school) gave more almost three times as much money?</p>

<p>Don, buddy, how lame is needing a friend to go to college with you? This is one I never heard before. And why did you apply to Oberlin in the first place if you think it's not a fit for you? </p>

<p>My suggetion is to let go of the need for a friend from home and go visit Oberlin. It would be a shame to give up such a good school when you're simply misinformed about it.</p>

<p>A lesson learned, don't apply to a school because a friend is applying there. That friendship can change, the friend cn change their minds, and if you pick a school based on something as flighty as high school students choices, you will often be dispoointed.</p>

<p>
[quote]
if Oberlin is what I think it is.

[/quote]
Your point is important. Sounds like you are making a lot of assumptions without enough data to support them.</p>

<p>Donpon-
If I remember correctly, you were struggling with these decisions, with a few other schools thrown into the mix, last fall. Have you visited these schools?? That should help you address some of these worries... Please don't take this wrong, but I wonder if you are overanalyzing this, and worring about a lots of things that probably won't happen. Sounds like you might stress a bit too much about things-- this is just the issue on the table today... I am not saying that college decisions are not challenging, but you've sounded pretty conflicted at many steps along the way. Relax. Oberlin is a great school, and it is not just full of weirdos. Again, GO VISIT. Don't just take the word of others. You need to decide for yourself. If you can't afford it, ask them if they can help you with the cost of visiting. Many schools will do that. Also, the Yale daily new's Insiders guide to colleges gives pretty adequate descriptions of schools. I'd take a look at that as well, but don't make your decision solely on what you hear others say. You'll obsess about that 'til the cows come home. You need to make your own decision.</p>

<p>As for your question about Skidmore, of course it makes sense to call the financial aid office (or have your parents talk to them) - advise them that you'd really REALLY like to come there, but their Fin aid package doesn't match Oberlin's, and can they revisit your package to see if they can work with you on this. Don't expect them to match Oberlins, but maybe they can sweeten their deal a bit, and make it more afforadable for you.</p>

<p>Two other delicate suggestions for the future-- When you title a thread, if you tell a little bit about what the thread is about, you will probaly get more people reading it. Also, a technicality. I am assuming when you say you aren't "jappy", you mean you aren't materialistic. The term refers to females.</p>

<p>jym,
thank you so much for your reply. It's funny, I come across as such a worrier on this board. Honestly I'm not. I'm pretty relaxed, but just when i start thinking about college I start to overanalyze everything. as for the other schools, I was rejected at colgate, and given very little money at connecticut college and rochester. I'll be visiting Oberlin on monday and we'll see how that goes. I'll also speak to skidmore, and hopefully they can do something. Jym, I appreciate your thoughts and i thank you once again. As for the previous two posters, I never said I was basing my decision soley on my friends, it was just a nice addition to have, because for some people it would be hard to move from Long Island to Ohio alone at the age of 18 (not saying that in the end i won't)</p>

<p>citygirlsmom-- I don't know about that. Don't paint such things with a broad brush stroke-- it can definitely be a good thing, too. I'm applying transfer, but so are all of my friends, and we're all the same age as most people are when they graduate high school. I applied to Carnegie Mellon, Stanford, Rice, and University of Chicago because my friends were applying there. Besides Yale, the rest of what I applied to were Liberal Arts Colleges. </p>

<p>Since I've applied, in the past month or so, I've decided that because of where I am in my life and my education, I would rather go to a University than to a liberal arts college. There are a lot of factors in this, but suffice to say, I am so glad that I decided to apply to those four colleges (which at the time was mostly based on my friends' decisions to apply there!). Those ones are now some of my top choices, regardless of whether or not my friends go; and if I hadn't "followed" them, my only chance to attend university would hinge on a Yale acceptance.</p>

<p>Of course, my friends made very well-informed choices. I keep discovering wonderful things about these schools that I hadn't known before. So-- basing it off of friends isn't always bad.</p>

<p>Donpon-
Glad my comments were helpful, and I am glad you are going to Oberlin for a visit. That will be very helpful for you. If I recall, you were considering Vassar, SUNY Geneseo and a few others back this fall (I recall because I am a VC alum, and I think we chatted a bit about Vassar). If there were things that helped you to eliminate these schools from your list, you might see if these same factors are relevant in your current decision. </p>

<p>I also caught an important typo in my previous post-- I meant to say that the Yale Daily New's Insiders Guide to Colleges has ACCURATE (not adequate) descriptions of colleges. Might also help give you a perspective on the schools. </p>

<p>As for knowing people who attend the school, I am sure you will find a lot of people from your general area (Long Island, if I recall, yes??) who will be attending both schools. There is usually some sort of get-together for the incoming freshmen during the summer. So, you'll have an opportunity to meet others from your area who will be attending, and you'll probably be getting more info in the mail. I will assume you've already been chatting with people on the Oberlin and Skidmore sites on CC.</p>

<p>anisky-
I think what you are describing is slightly different than what citygirlsmom referred to. When I read donpon's original post, it sounded to me like donpon might have said that one of the reasons he selected Oberlin was because a friend was going there, and that seemed to carry a lot of weight, since if that friend did decide to go elsewhere, donpon was having second thoughts. I took citygirlsmom's comments to mean that there should be other reasons for considering a school as well. With respect to your comments, I fully agree that sometimes the best recommendations for a college or university to look into can come from a friend who is interested in it. People usually have a lot in common with their friends, and would value a school recommendation from a friend. I see that as different than choosing a school largely because a friend is planning to attend. Also, it is a slightly different situation to be coming to a school as a transfer student. I see that as a bit harder to get to know people who have already established friendships and relationships, and going there as a transfer, knowing a few people can really make the transition easier. I do not know where you are currently attending, but for what its worth, my s. is currently a freshman at Rice, and couldn't be happier. He absolutely loves it. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about it.</p>

<p>Jym,</p>

<p>I think your memory regarding my college considerations surpasses mine haha. I'm impressed. Unfortunately, Vassar never worked out because I didn't finish taking the proper testing (but i did love the school when i visited, the nicest i've seen). As for Geneseo, I don't know why i forgot to mention it. It's still in there, but towards the bottom of my list.</p>

<p>I really do hope Oberlin works out, because I know it's a great school. I was surprised I even got in.</p>

<p>On another note, is it unusual that Skidmore gave me such little grant money, but invited me into their Honors program? I wonder if this would put me in a position to have a better argument when we negotiate for more aid...</p>

<p>Oh yes-- those pesky SAT II's. As for your question donpon, I am sorry but I don't know the answer-- Each school has, to a certain degree, its own way of calculating the EFC. Is the money "grant" ( e.g. merit-based "aid" money) or need based?? Will that amount change each year or is it fixed and guaranteed? More importantly, is it free and clear $$ or is it a loan?? All of these are variables to consider. Be sure you are comparing apples to apples. Most importantly, you want to look at what you'll owe at the end of 4 years. I certainly think that being accepted into an Honors program is a compliment, and should carry some weight when you talk to Skidmore. Good luck.</p>

<p>thanks for your help!</p>

<p>My friend is going to Oberlin this year, and he's not a weirdo (well..no not really!), although he is pretty liberal. He told me when he visited the school the people seemed friendly enough. But you won't know what YOU think about it until you visit. That's the only way to really get to know the atmosphere of any place..</p>