My father is an alcoholic. He drinks heavily on the weekends all the time, but works without consuming alcohol on weekdays. My mother is not an alcoholic, but she doesn’t have work. Both of my parents were immigrants. Anyway, throughout their 25 yr marriage, she dealt with emotional and financial abuse. (in the early years, he was arrested for physical abuse, and bailed out quickly) It is annoying and frustrating when a loved one can easily change when under the influence.
I’m currently helping my mom deal with my father’s financial abuse.
In 2018 we moved into a new home, and my mom used some 29k from my grandma’s fortune to help pay for the house. My father has been paying off 29k slowly through out the years, and he recently claimed that he finished paying her off, but its not true, bc he has 5k left to pay her. Using my mom’s credit app, I tracked all of the transactions from my father’s account to her account to create a financial history chart dating back to 2020 to do this. My mom went to the bank and also confirmed its 5k left. Still, my father insists he will not pay her anything, and instead he urges her to conceal her credit account to him.
I could go on and on about near divorces and stories. I was considering on writing about lessons and values I’ve learned, but I’ve never done anything about my father’s alcoholism.
Is this too risky or not worth writing about?
Much too risky. Your essays are to be about you.
Focus on some other facet of your life. It is not your job to ‘do something’ about your father’s illness, and the admissions officers are not counselors or there to feel sorry for you. They want to know how you will add to the university class they are assembling and to judge your writing ability and style. Kids have been admitted after writing about shopping at Costco, how much they like chocolate milk, how much fun they had at summer camp. Many do write about challenges or illness, but IMO those are harder.
Sorry you’re going through this, sorry you’ve been drawn into their issues. Don’t write about this. It won’t help you. You cannot do anything about your parents’ problems. You cannot save your mother, you cannot fix your father. You might want to look into an organization called Al-Anon that helps people who are dealing with an alcoholic family member. They even have support groups for teens dealing with alcoholic family members.
Think about what you love doing. Think about your own hopes and dreams, what you want in life, what you want to become in life. Focus your essay on these ideas, not on the troubled home you’ve come from.
This is an excellent suggestion.
I agree…this isn’t a good subject for your college applications. If your school guidance counselor knows of these issues and how you overcame them, perhaps they can address this in their letter.
But what you write on a college application really needs to highlight you…not the shortcomings of others.
I think its okay to mention that you grew up in a situation where alcoholism changed the trajectory of your life. But don’t focus entirely on your father. Instead use the essay to explain how it shaped you as a person, and what you will do in the future.
I’m sorry you’re growing up with that. It’s much more common than people understand and it’s hard to live with.
So many students view their college essays as tell-alls. That is not their purpose. They are a sales pitch to a college to see if the college wants to “buy” you. What about you will make you succeed at their college? That’s what you show them. An alcoholic parent isn’t a selling point.
You are not your alcoholic father. This might sound harsh, but understand that colleges do not admit people because they feel sorry for them. As awful as your living situation might be, college admissions officers have seen students in much worse situations. They might admit some of those students, but it won’t be because of the challenges they faced. It will be because despite those challenges, the student was able to excel.
I agree with @sgopal2 . If you choose to write this, the situation in the family should just be part of the framework. The picture in the frame must be of you.