Allowance/Spending Money

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

<p>So ... DD's BS paperwork allows us to give her a spending account (min $500, but totally voluntary) and allows us to say if we want her to have a weekly allowance or if we want her to have a weekly "as needed" draw which would not to exceed a certain maximum amount.</p>

<p>I'm struggling with whether to give her ANY money that isn't what she is earning over the summer. And if we do give her some, what's a reasonable weekly maximum? She doesn't receive an allowance now, so even giving her $20/week would be a lot compared to what she gets now. But then, I have no clue about how much money she is actually going to NEED at school.</p>

<p>She is going to be in Vermont, so not in a major metro area. She'll be able to go to the movies, get a deli sandwich, they'll have occasional trips to the mall ... I just don't want her to squander money just because she suddenly has access to it.</p>

<p>Any tips? PS, I'm sorry if this has been covered elsewhere. I simply couldn't find it, search though I might. Thank you!</p>

2

<p>Some money is needed for items which cannot be purchased with the student id account. We gave our S about $100 per month on average. Sometimes more is needed. This extra cash enabled him to buy a late night pizza or go out to a local restaurant with friends on the weekend. Sometimes kids in the dorm or sports team will make special t-shirts where they will only take cash.</p>

3

<p>Personally, my parents give me 75 dollars on my student account and 100 dollars in cash (and I usually don’t use all of that) and it ends up being enough for me to go to dinner/movies with my friends or do other little things that might come up in a month. Hope that helps :)</p>

4

<p>Thank you both. Hastalavista, did your son have his own money to spend as well? Deerfield, do you? Our D will have earned about $1600 this summer (though undoubtedly some of that will have been spent), so she will have money of her own for “extras” though we will fund the necessities. I’m curious, though, about whether parents routinely have kids use their own work money or whether parents very routinely give the $100/month (or more) for all the extras + necessities. Thanks!</p>

5

<p>I think your instinct is right on…our kid has plenty of money to spend with his summer earnings (about the same as yours) and budgets it well because it’s his money. We do slip him some cash now and again, for the airport or when we’re visiting, but it’s a gift, not a given, which makes a difference I think. Once she’s there, too, you may find that she has a favorite coffee shop or something–and a gift card to that spot makes a much appreciated Christmas or birthday gift.</p>

<p>Spending money has been discussed before, but I’ve always gotten the sense that a lot of bs kids don’t work–or don’t work much. You’re now making me curious about whether that assumption is correct or not! At any rate, I’ve never seen your particular question addressed.</p>

6

<p>ChoatieKid uses his own earnings and knows that if/when he uses them up, oh well. He budgets about $30/week but says he rarely spends that much. Both freshman and sophomore years, he ended up a tiny bit in the black. So far, we have not had (or heard of) any money “emergencies”. We keep enough in his campus account to cover books, airport transportation, and other school necessities, but kiddo has to cover any and all discretionary spending. The few times a year that we are on campus, we do the treating, though.</p>

<p>Besides non-dining hall food, there really isn’t that much to spend money on. A walk into town on weekends for ice cream or a burger with friends is about the extent of his need for money.</p>

7

<p>We subscribed to ChoatieMom’s “Oh well” approach too.</p>

8

<p>I like that approach. You ran out? Oh well. (Better to let them “fail small” early on than have to “fail big” when the rent check is coming due, you know?)</p>

9

<p>FWIW, I didn’t work a summer job until I was in college (and then I did it frosh, soph, and junior summers), and I don’t hold it against anyone (my children included) if they don’t. I think it’s great if kids do and obviously it teaches them the value of a dollar. $1600 seems like a lot of money to last the year for discretionary spending.</p>

<p>We found that $50 per month, slipped to her on breaks and by various members of the extended family (those grandparents like to feel they are helping out, you know!) worked for us. I would say that our daughter in BS is on the parsimonious side of things.</p>

<p>I think the “right” number depends on many factors: the school, your child’s circle of friends, and their own tendencies/values. What seem generous to some will seem stingy to others. Do what you can afford and start smaller rather than bigger.</p>

10

<p>We gave our DS $30 per week, he also held a job on campus but didn’t earn too much through that because there weren’t too many hours available to work. We didn’t run into any problems until spring senior year when he ran out of money due to bank fees and was not able to go with his friends to dinners/nights out because they were going out a lot more and I assume had more resources to do so. He was pretty disappointed to be left back at the dorm alone one night but he does realize some people just have a lot more money and he doesn’t expect to be able to keep up with them.</p>

<p>We made it work by taking the money out of our weekly grocery budget since we could buy less without another person at home.</p>

11

<p>30 dollars a week is about right, (but how that is divided up depends on whether they have a student account card (covers book store purchases and sometimes snacks). Total about 30 dollars a week for “discretionary” can pay for a movie, take out food occasionally, ice cream, shampoo, little personal items. in Vermont maybe skiing?</p>

<p>I would not leave them without any funds, but using their own earnings is a good plan.</p>

12

<p>Emma distinguishes spending categories, and parents can set limits: so much for restricted spending at the bookstore (snacks, non-essentials, toiletries); so much for cash withdrawals; and unrestricted spending (up to the balance in the smartcard acct.) for books and school supplies, transportation, etc. </p>

<p>Depending on family budgets and what students are expected to buy (if they run out of shampoo, laundry detergent, etc. is that a parent-stock-up item when home, or do they live far enough away that such expenses need to come out of discretionary spending, e.g.), the numbers above seem reasonable. We also do $30, divided as $10 for school store (used in general for snacks or bevs after school), and $20 pocket money, for off-campus spending. GG usually has carry-overs and will save for a couple of weeks in order to “splurge” on some event. Babysitting money, gifts, etc. supplement.</p>

13

<p>We have an account at the student center, a debit account for snacks like ice cream and muffins and drinks. Thats where everyone hangs out before study hall. I spend probably about $30 a month, maybe higher finals week, then allowance is separate in a bank account</p>

14

<p>A firm “it depends” from me. It depends on the school, the school’s culture, what your child will be doing next year, how easy it is to get off campus, whether your child is likely to want to go out with friends to a pizza place or to buy coffee…</p>

<p>If I were you, I’d set her up with the on-campus spending account, with an “as needed” draw, and then see how it goes. The quality of food, and its availability, vary widely by school, or even by dorm. Some schools allow students to order take out, and some don’t. If your child returns to campus after an away game, can she get dinner? Or will the kichen be closed, and she’ll have to eat dodgy snack food or go hungry if she can’t order out? </p>

<p>Your child needs some pocket money. You want your kid to be able to participate in an activity such as walking to a nearby ice cream shop with dorm mates (with permission, of course.) Some dorms take turns ordering pizza for the whole bunch, for example, Jane buys the first week, Dara buys the second week, and the third week, it’s your kid’s turn. It’s sensible to not have money lying around the dorm room, although the schools do expel students for theft. </p>

<p>High school freshmen have not stopped growing. Some students, especially boys, will need new shoes or new pants Right Now. It’s easier for them to be able to purchase such items on a school-sponsored trip to the mall than to ship your best guess at sizing across the country at short notice.</p>

<p>Some banks offer teen debit cards. The parent can add money from home, and monitor teen spending. It’s a great way to give your child the ability to buy a plane ticket home at short notice, rather than sending her off to school with lots of money. You can also cut off the card if it goes missing, and have serious conversations about not buying junk food. (Because you can access the report on where the card was used, and for what.)</p>

<p>The school store will have necessities, such as notebooks and pens. We used Amazon Prime–if a child needs anything, I can have it shipped free to the kid in two days, which is useful if it’s something the school or local stores don’t stock, or if the kid has particular tastes (due to allergies or homesickness.)</p>

<p>If your child is doing her own laundry, she will need to access money to use the machines. Some schools use charge cards, some require quarters. </p>

<p>It depends on the child, as well. An outgoing child who goes to the movies and pizza places with friends, who needs to buy clothes to participate in an optional activity (such as sledding, skiing, or a performance), and who takes advantage of optional cultural events, might run up a larger tab than a child who is happy in the dining hall, doesn’t go out for optional events, and doesn’t share with friends. Both children will profit from the boarding experience, one will spend more money, but there isn’t really a standard answer to your question. (Does this help?)</p>

15

<p>I guess what’s hard is trying to determine what the spending pattern will be when it’s your first go at this. We will definitely set her up with an account so she can access her own money, and we’ll probably contribute to it, though not with the idea of fully funding everything. We want her to use the money she is earning this summer for all the “extras,” while we will pay for the necessities. We are required to have $1000 on account for school-related charges that they would otherwise bill us for. Or something like that! We’ll figure that part out eventually.</p>

<p>We are relatively closeby (2.5 hours) and subscribe to Amazon Prime, so we can either stock her up on necessaries while she’s home (or when we go visit) or ship things to her using A.P. </p>

<p>I really appreciate folks chiming in on this! I especially appreciate the advice to start small and build from there as necessary (instead of the other way around), and the advice that my child’s sociability is apt to influence the spending. For sure she will want to go to as many movies as other people are going to! And they can walk to the movies so I expect that will be every weekend, depending on what’s playing. That’s gonna be a chunk of change right there!</p>

16

<p>Well. Everything depends on the school. Does her dorm have DVD players attached to the common room TV? Some dorms do. DVDs brought from home, or checked out from the library, can be a free weekend “movie night.” </p>

<p>Prep school students can often check out movies from the school or town library. Again, it depends. It also depends on her new friends’ habits, which you don’t know yet.</p>

17

<p>I don’t agree that a kid needs to fall into the habits of other kids who may have much more expendable money. I can’t imagine a kid with $1000 plus to spend on non-essentials is going to be cut out of the social life of the dorm, though there will almost certainly be kids spending more–kids who also have nicer clothes, fancier phones, etc. To my mind, there’s an important lesson here to be learned about living within one’s means. </p>

<p>Because my son uses his own hard-earned money for his expenses, he tends to naturally budget–sometimes going out to eat with buddies, sometimes choosing d-hall if he’s been spending too much. He waits and buys clothes with me, on breaks. Amazon Prime is great for those things like evening study snacks that I consider more of an essential–and therefore parental–expense.</p>

18

<p>If your child can earn $1600 over the summer, I’d say definitely have them fund their own allowance. You or someone else is ponying up $50,000 on their behalf already!</p>

<p>There was a thread about spending money earlier this year with estimates for discretionary cash running lower than the current thread:
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1477003-how-much-monthly-spending-reasonable.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1477003-how-much-monthly-spending-reasonable.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

19

<p>I have been thinking back to my boarding school days and find it interesting that I (think) I was given $100 a month for spending money. Funny how little changes. I know that was a lot more money back then (late 70’s) but I lived about 2000 miles away. And - there were no such things as debit cards etc. I also was responsible for buying shoes, sporting equipment etc. Amazon was not an option! LOL</p>

<p>Anyway, as a result of this thread I had a chat with my daughter and told her that we would probably give her about $25 a week for spending money. She said, “That sounds great. I can go to the movies or starbucks. AND, if I want something more I can just save up several weeks worth.” Imagine my surprise. I was very pleased. She has been working some this summer but intermittently, but should any be left, I am sure she will put it into her account for splurges.</p>

<p>I am grateful for all the ideas on this thread… even if every family does what is best for themselves, it is very helpful to see the range of what we can expect. </p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

20

<p>London, I had the exact same thought! I think I got $100 a month too. I never remember it being an issue, except one time flying home for the holidays, I remember being at Newark airport, being hungry, and literally not having enough change in my pockets to buy a sandwich. I survived. I haven’t discussed this yet with my son, but I suspect that he wouldn’t even think to ask for spending money (he doesn’t get an allowance now, so I just don’t think it would occur to him). I plan to tell him that we’ll pay for everything that we think is a necessity (which, like ClassicalMama, I think includes snacks for evening studying, because being a 14 year old boy, our son eats incessantly). He has his own money from his bar mitzvah, and I suspect that his grandparents plan to give him some cash for spending money, so I’m just going to let him use all that for the time being and see how it goes.</p>