<p>What’s the essay prompt?</p>
<p>I’m with MommaJ. There are a lot of grammar and usage mistakes. In addition, it tells us far to much about what happened to other people, and not nearly enough about you. Something like “…every friend that I have lost will always stay with me and affect every way that I choose to look at things from every possible angle.” says nothing–just empty words. You’ve gone through some very tough times, but what the application needs to focus on is your reactions and reflections on these events, not the events themselves. Specifically how has it affected your outlook on life.</p>