So, my daughter had an alumni interview for her dream school (she applied ED) yesterday and she said it did not go well. When I asked her why, she said the alum, who was a male about 35, asked her what she saw herself doing when she was 35.
She talked to him about her career aspirations and he replied “that sounds like what you would do in your 20s. In your 30s you would be settling down, getting married and having children.”
This was apparently the vibe of the whole interview - and this person will be reporting back to the school with his opinions on her. She is very concerned.
She was polite and didn’t argue with him, although she was very upset with his responses.
My 2 questions are - should she be concerned that this man could affect her admission chances with a negative report? And two - should she contact the school and say anything about it? She doesn’t want to be a complainer, but she also doesn’t want to let this person wreck her chance to go to her dream school.
Which school? Some posters here may have an idea of the relative weight of alumni interviews for that school.
In any event, this was an inappropriate response by the interviewer to a fairly common question. This should be reported to the school. Your daughter should have a specific list of questions and interactions that made her uncomfortable. If she felt the interview went badly, I’d consider reporting it right away since there would be little downside. If there is a racist/misogynistic interviewer, the AO’s do want to know about it because it reflects badly on the school. This is not just whining about an interviewer who was disengaged or an interviewee who happened to be “sick” the day of the interview.
I would contact the Admissions office and say something like
"I had an alumni Interview with P.J. McAlumni on November 5th. He was very informative regarding the University and the opportunities that are available, but one thing that concerned me greatly was that he asked me what I thought I would be doing when I was 35. I answered to the best of my ability, but then he said “that sounds like what you would do in your 20s. In your 30s you would be settling down, getting married and having children.”
I know that Ivy U prides itself on its diversity efforts and I am concerned that anyone’s marriage status or reproductive goals would be used in admissions.”
I might let the GC handle this. You don’t want this sort of thing to just get a cursory look and end up a floater in the app file. A GC could discuss this verbally.
If your daughter feels strong enough to handle this on her own, it might be best. Counselors are very busy and you have no way of knowing how much the counselor could push it. This is a real concern. I once had a colleague from a top 10 university tell stories at work about how strange he found it that the woman he interviewed liked cooking. He was very dismissive of her desire to study engineering, as he had done, at this elite school.
I would agree the GC would be a good intermediary, assuming OP’s D goes to a school with a GC staff that has the time, energy and relationship to do this. This is not universally the case, especially for applicants from large public HS’s. If OP is not confident that the GC will be an effective intermediary, I think a call and an email to the AO is appropriate.
In any event, OP’s D should prepare a summary with specifics. It sounds like while the comment on getting married and having children was the most egregious, there were other inappropriate remarks. The summary can then be given to the GC or can be used in the email to the AO. Specifics matter.
One way or another, this alum should be reported to the admissions office. They hopefully won’t want him representing the school - they certainly don’t need him driving good prospects away. I would wonder if he would respond in the same manner to a male student. It sounds like she handled it well - a response indicating she doesn’t plan to marry or have kids could bring on further assumptions and associated personal questions, which should be avoided. They need to find someone else to conduct interviews
Thank you all for your replies. We discussed this last night and D decided to speak with her guidance counselor today and decide which one of them is going to contact the admissions office and explain the situation.
She was very worried it would be held against her, but your feedback made her feel reassured that she is providing constructive feedback and protecting herself from being negatively impacted by a mysogynistic alumni reviewer.
It’s a shame because up until now, every interaction with this school has been amazing and she was certain it was the right place for her. Now she is having doubts - wondering if this is typical of the kind of person who comes out of this university.
Your D has a great plan (talking to GC and decide how to report this in best possible way). Adding to comment#9 - it should not affect the overall judgement of the college. Even at the best of workplaces, there are jerks (who are either outright-mysogynists or borderline with lack of sensitivity to personal space for others) - best way to deal with them is to make it clear that its undesirable behavior.
At my workplace - I oversee the college recruitment and had to deal with one internal interviewer’s comments/behavior like this. When a candidate first reported (which we already had some suspicions but couldn’t act without any info) - management was actually happy with the candidate for speaking up. I know college admissions are very different but something your DD can feel better about when she reports this.
I’m late in responding but generally speaking alumni reports are non evaluative so I wouldn’t worry about it negatively impacting your D’s chances. Usually it’s just a positive to show demonstrated interest.
That said, having chaired a region, I would absolutely want that kind of feedback from students so good plan to have your D speak to her GC and have them let the school know.