<p>I've spent most of today with former UVA roommates discussing our alma mater and all the wrong reasons it has made the press over the last several years- Yeardley Love abused and then killed by her UVA boyfriend and lacrosse payer, Hannah Graham's abduction and murder this fall, decades of pushing rape (not "sexual misconduct") under their dirty little rugs and re-victimizing their female students, Sullivan's firing/re-hiring, and responding to the latest rounds of allegations by appointing a former Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity (the Fraternity identified in the recent Rolling Stones article for horrendous acts of violence against women) member to address these issues. All of my former roommates have been vocal supporters of UVA and active in annual giving campaigns. We also have children, male and female, who have been considering UVA for college. No more. Wahoo Sisters pledge to never give another penny to UVA until they seriously address their decades of misogyny, and those children who have applied this year will withdraw their applications. Younger children will not apply until and unless this culture has been successfully addressed. These are not new issues but the media has thankfully shed enough light on them to make them visible by all. Each parent and student needs to make their own decisions about what they want from a college. Hatred and violence against women is clearly not what we are looking for in a college. </p>
<p>This just seems very misguided. To make a leap from current events to an accusation that the university promotes hatred against women is irresponsible. (What the firing/rehiring of Theresa Sullivan has to do with any of this is also unknown) And the Hannah Graham tragedy was not in the least a reflection on the university - it was a horrible crime committed off grounds by a non-university serial criminal - and was a tragedy “for” the university and Charlottesville community as a whole. I would hope that alumni of the university would be able to make that distinction as well.</p>
<p>I am an alumnus too, with children beginning the college search. These serious problems of rape, sexual misconduct, and alcohol abuse have not gotten the amount and kind of attention they long deserved, quite obviously. Now, there will be interested persons tackling this in so many different ways, on so many fronts. I don’t begrudge the OP and the Wahoo Sisters their take and initiatives. But hard decisions about the fraternity system are at hand. Greek life did not define my experience, nor that of the majority, even back in the day. I think we need to recognize there will be anger from those resisting changes to an entrenched subculture at UVA. Secondly, there is a culture of alcohol abuse in which bystanders leave the hopelessly inebriated to the designs of serial predators. I hope that at U.Va., teachers and students will work together to find the strong common voice needed to take actions that can make change permanent. That progress may come incrementally, or swiftly, or both. But it needs to be real for me to feel better about sending my children there. So much has enriched our lives as alumni. Like Jefferson’s own life, we can’t let the worst define the whole. Unlike the founder, the University will live on through time, so each generation may reach further toward attaining our common ideals. </p>
<p>The aspects that are under the control of the University include how they respond to allegations. I believe the U. said that they were not told everything by the accuser that the Rolling Stone writer was told. There certainly is a need for improvement, but please do not blame the University for those aspects that were outside their control. </p>
<p>I don’t know what the U. could have done to prevent the murder of Ms. Graham and Ms. Love. The U. has had a program with a local taxi company that Ms. Graham could have called them and the company would have given her a ride home from anywhere in Cville even if she did not have cash with her. </p>
<p>Many other fraternities have been disciplined in the recent years for incidents that were not malicious in intent.</p>
<p>@Charliesch, if you don’t mind me asking, how is your son doing? There is a great deal of anger directed at Phi Psi - what about other fraternities? </p>
<p>HoosMom,
In a previous post from February 2014 (in which you were asking a question about your son and W&M), you wrote, </p>
<p>“His sister goes to UVA so we’re more familiar with their admissions office and policies.” </p>
<p>So I’m assuming that you have a daughter at UVa right now. How does she feel about the horrible things that have happened at UVa recently? Is she thinking about transferring, especially in light of your very strong negative feelings about the University right now?</p>
<p>Yes, the University should be held accountable for their response. Including that last week The University appointed a former member of Phi Psi (fraternity highlighted in the Rolling Stones article) to head the Panel that would be looking into these issues. <a href=“http://■■■■■■/1xI6Jjy”>http://■■■■■■/1xI6Jjy</a>
They have since withdrawn that nomination because it was made public in the press. It certainly doesn’t look like they were serious about addressing these issues, but rather focused on protecting their own image. Misstep after misstep from a University that prides itself on its elite reputation is cause for great concern. These missteps are either intentional misogyny or shameful neglect. It’s very hard to believe that UVA is the continual victim of circumstance, but rather that they are supporting a culture that breeds these situations. Saying that similar things happen at other schools is a shameful avoidance of being a catalyst for change.</p>
<p>Since CC wouldn’t post the full link I’ll refer people to the article in today’s (11/23/2014) Richmond Times Dispatch <a href=“http://www.timesdispatch.com/news/state-regional/uva-independent-counsel-on-sexual-assaults-dropped-because-he-was/article_6bb2423d-8d62-59cb-8606-82c82b73125c.html”>http://www.timesdispatch.com/news/state-regional/uva-independent-counsel-on-sexual-assaults-dropped-because-he-was/article_6bb2423d-8d62-59cb-8606-82c82b73125c.html</a></p>
<p>Sabar: I can’t speak for my son, but I think everyone is stressed out. My son knew the guy who committed suicide, who everyone described as a really gentle person (and who had nothing to do with the Phi Psi incidents). </p>
<p>My son is in a laid back fraternity that has been really good for him. It reminds me a great deal of my own laid back fraternity when I was at UVa. (most of my fraternity brothers are now doctors, and some are med school professors). </p>
<p>I’d ask everyone to be open minded and not lump all fraternities together. There are also African-American fraternities and an Asian fraternity, among many others. </p>
<p>Also, please keep in mind that the U. does not own the fraternity houses and the fraternities are not on University property. In fact, it is the Charlottesville Police who have jurisdiction over the fraternities, not the UVa Police. </p>
<p>@charliesch My thoughts are with your son, and everyone else that knew the student who just passed away. </p>
<p>It’s been a very difficult semester for all the students at UVA. As my son reminded me last night, his class (2017) lost three students in just one semeter. I know my son (who did start the rush process but decided to not pledge) is very anxious to do whatever he can to support the school. He loves UVA and would never want to be anywhere else. He is looking forward to his classes next semester, is anxious to work on his McIntire application over semester break, and he looks forward to two more successful years at the school that he loves. That said, he wants to do his part to help make the changes needed to make sure every student feels safe and supported while there. Most of the students that I’ve talked with want to do whatever is in their power to work with the Administration, faculty and alumni to accomplish real progress. However, some are feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed by the social media attack that is everywhere - especially by the alumni who they feel should want to support the current students at UVA. They want the alumni to work alongside them to right the wrongs (that most of these kids had nothing to do with), not just to bash the school online, threaten to withhold money and withdraw applications.</p>
<p>As I mentioned in a previous post, we went through something very similar to this with my older son at Penn State. I was so proud of how the students worked together for productive change that will really make a difference for many years to come. But they couldn’t do it alone - it took faculty, Administration, the alumni and parents all coming together for the cause. I know the same can happen at UVA, I just hope that the alumni will join in the movement, as opposed to running away. You too can be a part of the change.</p>
<p>Ljrfrm: Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, as a PA. resident, I see many parallels with the Penn State situation. Very bad mistakes were made by a few people (mainly administrators). Those administrators still have not been punished, other than getting fired. However, some people tried to punish a much wider group of people who had done nothing wrong and to attack the good name of the University as a whole. </p>
<p>Our daughter is in her 3rd year there and we have been talking with her about this situation too. She has thankfully avoided situations like those described in Rolling Stone. She has felt very vulnerable in a couple of off campus situations, but nothing that could be described as UVA’s fault. Some of her stories about things that have happened to her friends at fraternities make us cringe. We are frustrated as parents and alumni who feel like so much is coming out in the news and are definitely rethinking our decision to encourage our children to consider UVA. My husband and I both went there and cherish our time there. We want our university to step up and make sure our sons and daughters are protected in college. As the RS article pointed out, something like 150 students with honor violations were expelled from UVA. Not one student was expelled because he raped someone. We just want and expect more.</p>
<p>Our thoughts are with the D’Agostino family, whose son was well loved at St. Andrew’s School, where the students and teachers, too, have dealt with a tremendous amount of grief. </p>
<p>Good to see the teachers in Charlottesville finding their voices in this ongoing dialogue:
<a href=“http://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2014/11/faculty-host-take-back-the-party-protest-on-beta-bridge[/url]”>http://www.cavalierdaily.com/article/2014/11/faculty-host-take-back-the-party-protest-on-beta-bridge</a></p>
<p>The class of 2017 has faced a lot of adversity, no question. I am very sorry for the losses - I know how painful that can be. </p>
<p>I think these are important points: </p>
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</p>
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</p>
<p>I hope your kids have time to recharge over the break. A tough time, but I’ve no doubt UVA will rise to the challenge. </p>
<p>I also am so sorry for what the current students are dealing with -so much loss and confusion this semester. Also sorry to hear that many women are not feeling safe and glad those issues are being addressed. </p>
<p>I don’t know what to make of the OP (no relation to HoosDaddy!). In her first CC thread dated Feb. 2012, she says, “Our oldest is a freshman in HS.” Then in her second thread dated Feb. 2014, she discusses her son and says, “His sister goes to UVA…” If the oldest child was a freshman in HS in Feb. 2012, how could there be a sister at UVa two years later? </p>
<p>In June she started a thread on the UVa forum titled, “Worst tour we’ve been on”. She ended that post saying of UVa, “…their staff and guides have come off as so pretentious that it’s left this alum feeling like it is not the right choice for our kids.” Really, based on a bad tour?</p>
<p>I also find her post on the Rolling Stone thread (#106) informing applicants of the procedure for withdrawing their applications strange. </p>
<p>As the parent of a 1st year at UVa (daughter) who, despite everything that has happened this semester, is very happy with her decision to attend the University, I am not ready to give up on this institution.</p>
<p>Obviously, the Rolling Stone article is very disturbing. While I think most of us wish that the administration had been more proactive over the years in addressing this small, yet repugnant sub-culture at UVa, I am hopeful that the article will provide president Sullivan and the Board of Visitors with the impetus needed to finally address this serious issue.</p>
<p>I recommend that HS seniors who were planning to apply to UVa before the RS article was published apply. If you are accepted, you have until May 1 to make a decision to attend. Over the next six months, you can join the current students, alumni, and parents in monitoring the actions of the administration, and then you can make an informed decision.</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/bov/meetings/14sep/140812_Sexual%20Misconduct%20Overview_September%20BOV%20Meeting_vFinal.pdf”>http://www.virginia.edu/bov/meetings/14sep/140812_Sexual%20Misconduct%20Overview_September%20BOV%20Meeting_vFinal.pdf</a></p>
<p>The link is to a presentation that President Sullivan made in September to the full Board of Visitors on the issues of sexual assault at UVa. It was a 2 hour long discussion by the Board, which is rare on any issue.</p>
<p>Re: Hannah Graham, I’m having trouble seeing how you can blame UVA. She was kidnapped and killed by a serial killer (not a UVA student) who had apparently done this previously to young women from various colleges around the state. She we not let our daughters consider any school that he found a victim at?</p>
<p>“However, some are feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed by the social media attack that is everywhere - especially by the alumni who they feel should want to support the current students at UVA. They want the alumni to work alongside them to right the wrongs (that most of these kids had nothing to do with), not just to bash the school online, threaten to withhold money and withdraw applications.”</p>
<p>As an alumni, it’s sad to see the number of old buddies on Facebook posting about removing the fraternity, removing other fraternities, ceasing donations, etc etc etc. Once you’re a Hoo, you’re always a Hoo, and you can’t up and stop supporting your fellow Hoos a) without due justice b) simply because of a few bad apples out of the thousands of very successful students and graduates. It’s horribly painful to see what’s going on both down there and around the nation and my heart breaks for the students attending right now. Yes, the crimes committed are terrible and should be brought to justice, and yes UVa has a culture that needs to be checked. But, part of that so-called “culture” is what makes us all Wahoos: we will always <em>try</em> to stand up for ourselves, each other, and for what is right. Sometimes we fail and we obviously have here. But I think we all need to reach down deep inside, rally together, and support the University on moving forward. At the same, the University MUST have a plan on how to move forward in a way that we can work to prevent this, and quite frankly other student-on-student problems that exist.</p>
<p>As someone who graduated with Yeardley, it was an immense, deep pain to walk to class every day and see the TV crews trying to harass students about UVa’s “elite culture” and how the whole view is terrible because of what happened. UVa’s culture didn’t cause George to beat her to death, their lack of corrective measures did. This situation is the same. I wish, hope, and pray that UVa students and alumni rally together, in true Hoo “culture”, and fix this for once and for all</p>
<p>I donated, as a true alumni, for the first time the other day when I read this story. My money went to SEAS because I’m a Hoo and will forever love any fellow Hoo, young or old, Greek or not, athlete or not, but simply because they’re a Wahoo</p>
<p>"<a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/bov/meetings/14sep/140812_Sexual”>http://www.virginia.edu/bov/meetings/14sep/140812_Sexual</a> Misconduct Overview<em>September BOV Meeting</em>vFinal.pdf</p>
<p>The link is to a presentation that President Sullivan made in September to the full Board of Visitors on the issues of sexual assault at UVa. It was a 2 hour long discussion by the Board, which is rare on any issue."</p>
<p>Well, in my opinion, it is good that they have made a start by talking about the issue and joining a group of other major colleges to identify best practices. I do give them credit for that. </p>
<p>However, to me, they are just doing what bureaucrats are good at, forming committees, call some meetings, making powerpoint presentations and talking to parents, students and alumni, maybe updating a policy, but in the end is is just ink on paper. Endless vapid words. As long as potential rapists know that they can rape with impunity because no substantive action is ever really taken against them, then there is no real reason for them to change their behavior. </p>
<p>What does it take to get Universities to actively encourage women to report crime and to act swiftly and forcefully in response? If a rape is reported at 3am, there should be trained support people/counselor/psychologists available, medical staff and rape kits available on location, and police and forensics people dispatched IMMEDIATELY, regardless of the time of day or night, to search the scene of the crime for evidence, and to interrogate suspects and witnesses. To protect the victim, it should be made clear that if there is a potential crime, the victim can not decide to stop the sequence of events. What happens next is not her/his fault. She may not even have been the one that reported it. </p>
<p>Instead, the CYA behavior was clear in what the President did not say. </p>
<p>She did not say that reporting a crime of this nature immediately is expected of all student witnesses and that any failure to do so will be considered a violation of the honor code. </p>
<p>She did not say that any student who reports a rape or acts as a witness in good faith will be actively defended/protected by the resources of the University. </p>
<p>She did not say that it is not reporting a rape that damages the Universities reputation, it is failing to report rape that damages the Universities reputation. </p>
<p>She did not say that the University will provide 24/7 medical and counseling resources to actively support victims on campus.</p>
<p>She did not say that real police and CSI personnel will be available 24/7 and will be immediately involved in all reports of rape on campus. </p>
<p>She did not tell victims that they are not alone any more, that they will not be treated as outcasts any more, and that they will have the full and active support of the University and the University Community. </p>
<p>She did not ask all rape victims and witnesses of any present or past rape at UVA to please come forward and tell their stories so that the University can act to rid itself of this scourge and be a model for all others.</p>
<p>She did say that any student found responsible for sexual misconduct on UVA’s campus will be expelled.</p>
<p>To be clear, this seems to be the behavior of administrators at many colleges and Universities. This time UVA happens to be the focus. I doubt the many other University Presidents would do much better. All colleges need to do a better job of prosecuting this crime. These should be the ground rules at all universities. Students need to know that they are adults, that rape is an adult crime, and if the commit adult crimes they will be caught and they will pay an adult price. </p>
<p>When can we move on from endless empty words and cowardly hand wringing, and begin taking real action to put an end to the epidemic of rapes on college campuses across the country?</p>