Always trying to improve my essay... is this one ok?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Hello, can you please score my essay?
+ any advice would be great :-)</p>

<p>Assignment: Is talking the most effective and satisfying way of communication with others?</p>

<p>Living in society requires from people to interact and communicate. While different means of communication are available today, talking remains the most effective and satisfying way.</p>

<p>Eloquence has played a major role in man’s history. Prominent orators of all times adopted the power of the speech to fight for their beliefs. We cannot deny how powerful was Hitler when he talked to his men. We cannot deny that his speeches had enthralled many of his partisans. Also, Martin Luther King Jr. is another great orator of the last century. His poignant “I have a dream” delivered in front of hundreds of thousands of people did change the history of the USA.
Also, talking is important in our daily lives, at work or with friends. Talking can reveal the feelings and intentions that could be easily concealed in writing. Proof of it is the epistolary novel of the French writer Choderlos de Laclos, Les Liaisons Dangereuses, or the dangerous relationships. In the book, two friends send letter, each talking about his dreams and plans. The marquise de Merteuil and the Vicomte de Valmont try to hide their authentic feelings: their passion for each other. The dramatic end of the book reveals that if they had talked, they could not have hidden their love and could have avoided that their relationship be qualified of dangerous.
Another proof of the power of speech is in our observation of children. A simple comparision can be of important significance to our issue: a young kid reading a fairytale and a young kid listening to his mother reading him the same fairytale. The child will be charmed by the voice and attracted much more by the novel when listening to the story rather than reading it.</p>

<p>In conclusion, we can affirm that talking is a powerful tool we should wisely use. In our work, with family and even in issues on a higher level, peaceful speech can be the bridge to success and sincere relationships.</p>

2

<p>This is better. Still quite short. Needs better vocabulary (although epistolary is a great word). Make your topic sentence stronger. Instead of “A young kid” you could say a “small child,” although that’s not important.</p>

<p>8 or 9/12</p>

3

<p>Thank you :slight_smile: still have a few days till the test day… i’ll keep trying</p>

4

<p>Now it’s more powerful. I commend you for keeping at this. There’s clearly plenty of thought and strength in your answer. If you want my full ideas, feel free to PM me. </p>

<p>I think that “talking,” in the context of this question, means conversation. Note the final “communicating with others.” WITH. Not communicating ideas TO others.</p>

<p>So, I believe the Q refers to actual speaking with others versus texting, email, a letter, etc. Someone will probably say I’m wrong. </p>

<p>It’s great to see you’re focused on this. Good Luck</p>

5

<p>Thank you :-)</p>

6

<p>“We cannot deny how powerful was Hitler when he talked to his men. We cannot deny that his speeches had enthralled many of his partisans.”
redundant in “we cannot deny”</p>

<p>Also, i wouldn’t use “we” and the extreme words, such as ‘never’, ‘always’, ‘no one’, ‘everyone’, ‘anyone’, ‘everyone’, etc.</p>

<p>There’s gotta be AT LEAST one person who would disagree with your statement.
It’s just not preferred like passive voice and active voice.</p>