Am I a loser??

Parents Forum
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<p>I'm confused, depressed, and concerned about my future. I am hoping whoever is out there could give an insight on what should I do...</p>

<p>I was academically dismissed from UC this spring because of 2 bad grades. (1F, 1D) I went to college unprepared and parent's divorce really messed me up. Since English isn't my 1st language, it takes me awhile to write up papers and keep up with college reading. I'm getting better though. Parents been pushing me back to UC, because its a UC...It only took me 2 quarters to get kicked out of school, and honestly I can't see myself going back because every time I think about the place it just brings me sadness. I was a biochem major back then, now I'm changing it to chem or math. I know I can do it as I'm getting better on English, it is the language part holding me back. Back then, I spent most of my time keeping up with writing and reading and little time on other classes. This not going to be the case if I really end up transferring. Please tell me whether I have legitimate reasons to transfer, or I'm simply avoiding my problems.</p>

<p>My reasons not applying for readmission</p>

<p>1) The classes are too large, I'm feeling like a number there.
2) No personal attention with limited academic support. (Discussion sections/MSI tutoring, that is. Despite the fact that I went to all of these student services, they are usually packed with too many students.)
3) Even I do go back, I will still be on probation status and subject to dismissal if I don't pass ALL my classes in that quarter. (Though its hard to not pass all my classes as I'm more prepared now, that slim chance can be a great burden during that quarter.)
4) I have not yet pass UC Entrance writing exam, that's said I have to take it again once I'm back on campus. If I don't pass that exam, I will not be allow to attend till I successfully pass it.</p>

<p>To me, UC's are more like self-oriented for independent learning. Undergrad students are treated like crap. I am consider myself lucky as I'm not as deep into the hole as some of my fellows at other UC's. 2 of my friends graduating in the same year went to Davis, and flunked all their classes in 1st quarter.</p>

<p>So now, I've looked into Liberal Arts College in the country. These schools have much smaller classes with lower student-professor ratio. So that I could get more personal attention and academic support. But what I am also concerns are weather, affordability, and whether I will adjust to the environment. Most of the LACs I apply to are out of state, this is the biggest concern as I'm not sure if I can adapt to the weather. I'm not too worry socially as I am an outgoing person. Also, some of these LACs even though they are ranked nationally, they are not as well known as brand name U like UC. I wanted to go on to Grad school, however. The question is, that is pretty far from me and I always assume the worse scenario on things I can't control. That is I will be graduating with a BA and stuck with a job right after.</p>

<p>I don't know what to do anymore, I hated my life and for the good cause I thought about ending it. I am very miserable at CC right now, and the fact that I shouldn't be at CC. I'm keeping my grades, and god knows whens next time I will explode.</p>

<p>Should I go to another school for smaller classes, more caring/nurturing environment? What if they don't offer me any aid and I at the end have to go back to UC? I already set a timeline for this, that I will be applying at the end of 2012. :(</p>

<p>Thanks!!!</p>

<p>Matt</p>

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<p>If finances are a serious issue like you’re saying, going to UC or another public California school is probably the cheapest solution. There are some LACs that meet full need, but it doesn’t sound like you’d be able to transfer into one of those. In the end, the finances will determine where you can or can’t go, and it doesn’t sound like you have an affordable option outside of California. You can always apply to the LACs you want to attend to see if you get in and/or can afford to attend, but if it’s too pricy, don’t dig yourself into a hole of debt. It’s better to suck up your pride and go back to UC than suffer for decades after you graduate because you built up too much college debt.</p>

<p>My advice would be to make sure you’re emotionally ready to start anew when you go back. Forget about what happened before and get a fresh start. It might be worth the time to do a full two years at community college before transferring somewhere else, since you’ll be able to pull your GPA up and get your confidence back. There is NOTHING wrong with attending a community college. If you’re motivated to learn, you can learn at any school.</p>

<p>And for the record, the idea that you can’t graduate from an LAC and go to grad school is just plain wrong. They don’t have the same name recognition for people on the street, but they’re well respected in academia, which is the important part for grad school. Seven of the top 10 colleges that most frequently send students on to advanced degrees are LACs.</p>

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<p>It sounds like several of your reasons could just be due to lack of effort on your part. I go to a 40,000 person big-state school and I have solutions to all of your reasons.</p>

<p>1) The classes are too large, I’m feeling like a number there.</p>

<p>Most universities, including the UCs if I understand correctly, require their professors to hold office hours. Yes these office hours are packed the day before an exam or paper is due, but from my experience, they rarely have anyone there during the down periods. Perhaps go to more of these for help?</p>

<p>2) No personal attention with limited academic support. (Discussion sections/MSI tutoring, that is. Despite the fact that I went to all of these student services, they are usually packed with too many students.)</p>

<p>Same answer as above, before exams everything will be packed, you need to take the initiative to use the resources available on your campus. Most campuses, especially big campuses, have help centers for papers, science, math, etc. In addition to office hours, there should be ample opportunities for help.</p>

<p>3) Even I do go back, I will still be on probation status and subject to dismissal if I don’t pass ALL my classes in that quarter. (Though its hard to not pass all my classes as I’m more prepared now, that slim chance can be a great burden during that quarter.)</p>

<p>Well if it’s not hard to pass your classes, how will it be a great burden? Just focus on academic success and make sure you’re ahead of your work.</p>

<p>4) I have not yet pass UC Entrance writing exam, that’s said I have to take it again once I’m back on campus. If I don’t pass that exam, I will not be allow to attend till I successfully pass it.</p>

<p>Don’t know how to help with this because I have no knowledge of it, but it sounds like step 1 in your journey here. Maybe take some English as a second language classes at community college?</p>

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<p>How about starting at a CCC and finishing there before heading back to a UC in the upper classes which are smaller?</p>

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<p>You might look at the Western Undergraduate Exchange for more options. Not LACs, but other state schools in the West that might be affordable.</p>

<p>I think you are getting some very good advice here. Do a bang up job at the community college where you are taking classes and finish up your associate degree there. Take that time to solidify your English skills (reading & writing) so you are better prepared for the last two years at a 4 year institution.</p>

<p>Also, there are worse things in the world than graduating with “just” a BA and getting a job right after that. (Examples: not graduating from college, not having any job, etc.). Pretty much everybody in the world except a few have to work for a living. You can do very well with just a BA if you are a hard worker with a good attitude. Don’t assume you have to go to grad school (or go right away) to have a happy, successful life.</p>

<p>Second the comment above about LACs and grad school. LACs are just as good as universities for preparing students for grad school.</p>

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<p>Kudryavka’s advice is sound.</p>

<p>From what you are saying, it sounds as if your major academic problem is an inability to read and write English well enough to function at an American college or university. Although you might well find a more nurturing atmosphere at a LAC, it is also true that LACs tend to be highly focused on reading and writing papers. This might exacerbate your problem. Then there is the financial aspect.</p>

<p>If you are in California, the CC-to-university path is well established. One gathers that many CCs in California offer more advanced courses that CCs in my state, for example, do not, and that even top HS students go there for more advanced work in some fields. I think that your best bet is to stay at CC, work hard on developing your English skills over the next year or two–and it DOES take time!–keep up an excellent GPA, and then transfer to a UC for your last two years. By that time, you will have had the opportunity to develop the reading and writing skills you need to succeed there.</p>

<p>I would also STRONGLY suggest that you seek help from the counseling department at your current school. A person who even thinks about “ending it all” needs help NOW.</p>

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<p>Despite the relative lack of prestige, consider UC Merced or some of the smaller CSUs (Channel Islands, Monterey Bay, Sonoma State, Humboldt State). Or, some of the smaller out-of-state schools in the Western University Exchange. If you do well at one of these schools, you may be well-positioned for a job (especially if you do internships or are involved in a program with a more practical bent) or for graduate school. I agree with everyone that adequate English skills will be a prerequisite wherever you go.</p>

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<p>What is your major?</p>

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<p>I don’t think going to a LAC is necessarily a feasible option for you. First of all, can you transfer to one at all? With your grades, I don’t think you have a good chance of being accepted to a nationally-ranked LAC like you described. Then there are other LACs, but you also have to consider the financial aspect of it. Many LACs have low endowments and are not able to provide much aid. I think sticking to CC is the best path if you still want your BA.</p>

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<p>Matt,</p>

<p>I’m a little surprised that you didn’t pass the UC writing entrance exam (granted, I know nothing about the rigor of this test). Although the post you wrote contains errors, it definitely shows that you have at least “adequate English skills”. It’s certainly comparable to the writing of many U.S.-born students. Heck, it’s better than the writing of a lot of people I work with (and I mean the full range of professionals, from Engineering to Marketing to Human Resources). Sad, but true.</p>

<p>Please do not call yourself a loser. There is nothing wrong with going to a CC. You’ve only been in this country a short time, so you need to cut yourself some slack. Since you’re a non-native speaker, it’s perfectly understandable that your college reading and writing assignments took up a lot of your time and affected your grades. As you progress through your classes at the CC, your English will naturally improve (trust me on this as I’m an immigrant myself).</p>

<p>After CC, keep your options open. With improved English skills, you’ll likely pass the UC entrance writing exam next time and will also do better in your classes. And with improved confidence and more success in the classroom, you may find that the UC system can work for you after all. Of course you can also explore the LAC route, but you’ll have to compare costs to see if it’s a viable option.</p>

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<p>Thanks for all the comments. I don’t know how many of you believe everyone has his/her destiny. I’m certainly not trying to be superstition here. It’s already happened, nothing I can do about it. But you might wanna explain the logic here.</p>

<p>Dad has been planning to get divorce with mom once I’m in college, so he thought that will not affect my life by any means. Obviously that was not the case as mom had cried on the phone few times, and that really made me down. I admit I went to UC with a lousy attitude in 1st quarter that I thought I could “wing” Calculus and didn’t pay much attention to the class. Instead, I used all that time to catch up on reading. (I read 6 novels in 10 weeks just for the English class, not including countless journals, and 2 page writing assignments.) Yes, I passed that core English class with a C at the end. But I didn’t put time on Cal and not even turn in all my HW assignments, I end up failing that class. That is how I got to probation in 1st quarter, and that make my overall GPA to 1.0. My adviser says I need to pass all my classes from now on, or I will get kick out in the spring quarter. Then she made me sign a contract stating I will not fail any classes again. (All classes with a C or better)</p>

<p>In my 2nd quarter, I really worked my ass off, I studied 30~40hr/week. And things been good till one day, my dad filed the divorce to the court. Mom have to respond in 30 days or something like that. That’s when the weird things start happening…( I recall what my mom tell me. On that day, dad swear to the God that he will use whatever it takes to make my mom miserable even to the cost of affecting my life. And he is not going to split the wealth regardless if that’s unlawful. Grands personally tell me dad have had broke their hearts before. I think its no lie because dad don’t really have a good temper when he’s talking with his parents on the phone. Nonetheless, he is still my father…What I am trying to say here is, God do listen.</p>

<p>That was the third attempt on the UC entrance writing exam I didn’t pass. 3 of the girls go to the same H.S. with me all passed, fyi, they used to copy my homework for the past 2 years in H.S. I went to health center right after, and eventually they put me under 72hrs watch from suicide. Because I tried so hard on that last attempt, I rewrite my essays from lots of errors to perfectly make sense. And all the essays I turned in for portfolio are all 7 drafts+. I don’t really care at this point. This is 1st strike.</p>

<p>I have high B’s on all my classes before final in 2nd quarter. Then suddenly, BOOM, I scored a 34% on Econ final exam. That make my final grade to a D. How is that possible to drop from a high B to a D? But shouldn’t the material be connected anyway?? I read the goddam chapters 3 times supplement with exercises and practice exams. I might misread, miscomprehended, or misunderstood the concepts like someone suggested earlier. Ok, that might be the cause…This is 2nd strike.</p>

<p>And so it comes to meeting with college provost, she really is a good storyteller and suggested I should spend a year at CC to strengthen my language skills. At that point I can only agree and accept that dismissal. What I know latter was few of my friends at another UC’s were given the chance to make up classes during summer. And not a single person at my UC tell me this option. Their records are much much worse than mine as I only flunked 1 class and 1 D. This is how I sent home, third strike…</p>

<p>Since the day my dad filed that divorce, everything been work against me. Neither I can blame this matter on him, nor I consider this as God’s work. But, there is someone trying to pull me down.</p>

<p>Past has passed. I am only focus on my work now. As for English, I am 1 semester away from 1A (College composition writing/reading). Am not a ESL students. A test I have took in CC English department stating my reading level has reached 1A but not the writing. In fact, I am reading NY Times now. Really thanks for all the concerns. And parents, please don’t assume your kids can take so much more after 18. That’s what my dad thinks…Things like divorce should not be factor in the maturity of one’s mind because we have feelings regardless of our age.</p>

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<p>“Things like divorce should not be factor in the maturity of one’s mind because we have feelings regardless of our age.”</p>

<p>Parental divorce will hit you hard no matter what your age. I have seen this in Happydad’s family. Once you are settled in at your community college, spend some time at the counseling center there, and find out what resources they have for helping you through this time.</p>

<p>Don’t let the options that your friends were offered at other UCs bother you. Each university sets its own policies on these kinds of things, and theirs may just be a bit more flexible than yours. Personally, I think that you are going to like the smaller class size and more personalized attention that you can get at your community college. Those two things will probably make a big difference for you in terms of your academic success.</p>

<p>Wishing you all the best!</p>

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<p>Your friends may have been offered that option because their deans perceived that they were failing classes due to lack of hard work, while your dean perceived that you were working VERY hard and still could not overcome the drag of your lack of English skills. Your dean seems to think that you could excel if you had a chance to really address that problem. </p>

<p>Your thought is that of an intelligent person, but your writing is riddled with errors. It would not pass muster at any good school. The fact that people in the general population write poorly has nothing to do with it. That is not the standard you aspire to.</p>

<p>It seems to me that your dean’s plan of action makes much more sense than simply repeating a class in the summer and continuing to struggle to get by.</p>

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<p>MattKen, you say you are depressed and understandably so. Please see a professional psychologist. Start with the counseling office at your school and get a recommendation from them. You are not the first student whose parents’ divorce (and this sounds like an especially unpleasant one) has been so distracting that they have been unable to focus on their work. The counseling office may be able to recommend someone from your cultural background who can help you through this difficult time. It takes strength to ask for help. If, for some reason, you don’t connect with whatever counselor you talk to initially - find another. Don’t give up until you have found someone who you trust (and suggest to your mother that she do the same, by the way.) Once you have some perspective on your personal situation, you will be able to focus on the academic issues with greater clarity and confidence.</p>