I keep and store my empty pots on the stove on two burners (empty pots) my roommate slams it and moves it every time when she’s cooking she has left me 2 notes telling me not to leave empty pots on the stove to put them in the cupboard or in room
Am I in the wrong?
I agree with your roommate. The stove isn’t a storage area.
Yes
I agree with your roommate… store clean pots in cupboards/closet, not on the top of the stove.
When people have to use the stove, they have to put away your pots. That should be your job. Why is their time less valuable than yours?
Yes, you are in the wrong. You should put the pots away so that your roommate can use the stove.
I understand where you are coming from. In my house we leave several pots on the stove instead of putting them away. The difference is that we all do it and like it this way, so it is not an issue.
Yes - but I think you got the message.
Why have you not responded to her two notes? Why did she have to leave you a second one at all? Where does your housemate keep their pots and pans?
Yes, in common spaces you don’t leave your stuff out all over the place unless you are sharing and the other person wants to share. You wouldn’t, I hope, leave your stuff all over the table or sofa or other shared spaces.
For example, if you have a TV and want to leave that in the living room for others to also use and they agree to that then that would be cool. But if your housemates had their own TVs they liked better and didn’t want your TV in the living room you shouldn’t leave it there. This is part of learning to live with other people.
If you are sharing your pots and pans you can work it out with your housemates where to store them so everyone can access them. If you’re not sharing them you shouldn’t take up the stove space with them. When I am cooking a meal I sometimes use all the burners and if I was in your housemate’s position I would be pissed about your stuff taking up half the stove.
The same thing happens in a romantic partnership, too. Your partner might like having a TV with their game system in the living room, but you might prefer it to be more out of the way and not taking up space in the living room. You have to work it out. If you both don’t agree on it being in a shared space it needs to go in a personal space.
Many people prefer a clean kitchen with nothing on the stove or counters. This is a pretty common expectation. I do keep some cast iron frying pans on my kitchen stove, but most people don’t do this.
Talk to your roommate/housemate and go over details related to sharing living spaces. It’s a process and you’ll need to do it several rounds. It’s not about who’s way is right or more right but rather how to compromise. Even if 100 other people tell you it’s ok to leave pots on the stove, as long as your roommate doesn’t like it, it needs to be discussed between the two of you. These discussions are opportunities to know more about each other, not ways to argue who is right or wrong.
Yes, you are wrong. But maybe you can use this as an opportunity to review or create house rules, especially if you feel like this may have created some ill will.
Say you’re sorry and didn’t mean to create conflict. Ask if there is anything else that might be causing friction. Is it clear how fridge and cabinet space are divided? Is anything being shared that shouldn’t be? Are you having any issues you want to raise?
If you’re getting notes, it sounds like you may not all be on the best of terms (although it could just be convenient), and by being mature, non-confrontational, and not defensive, you can set the tone for more open dialogue, even if you aren’t all best of friends.
In your family, you may have grown up with pans on the stove. However, that is not what everyone else may have done.
Is it hurting anyone? Probably not. The problem, however, is that someone else had to remove your pots/pans, at least twice, in order to use the top of the stove.
You ignored the first note, and they had to remove them AGAIN and write another note because you blew the first note off.
It is a “SHARED HOUSE” but that doesn’t mean they all share your living habits.
When you live with people who are NOT related to you, you have to keep the home clean, organized, and safe. Your stovetop area has a width of 29 ¾". (I’m currently shopping for a stove.) It’s a small area to cook in already, without monopolizing multiple burners to store your pans. When I cook a full meal for myself, I typically use three burners. My teakettle is on the 4th burner. But it is my house. My adult children typically use 4 burners. They would not be happy if they had to remove my pans each time.
Please be CONSIDERATE of others who share the space with you. Put your pans away after you’ve washed them, and please apologize to the note writer.
I bought a replacement wok that is apparently bigger than my last, it’s sitting on my stove and it’s DRIVING ME CRAZY. It won’t bother anyone else, I’ve used it once, I don’t even like it. I’m aggravated with myself, should’ve measured. It’s so important for roommates to be considerate (I have 2 daughters away at school, 1 living on her own, 2 sons living at home, 1 will be gone again next month), they’re driving me crazy but I’m trying to pick my battles with my young adult children.
Yes, you’re in the wrong. There’s a simple solution to this:
You can be happy or you can be right. When you’re living in your own place, you can keep your pots wherever the heck you want. But for now, store them in a kitchen cabinet in order to keep peace in the household with your roommates. It’ll make your everyday life a lot less stressful.
Yes. Clean and put everything away right after you use it. Leave every space clean and neat and ready for the next person. Do MORE than your fair share, for the purpose of getting along. If you find this too hard to do, do it anyway, but make plans to live in your own unit next, with no shared space. You’ll be happier, and so will your roommates.