<p>tokenadult–I read the article several months ago–it’s changed my parenting! I stopped praising intelligence and other innate, unchangeable qualities and started focusing on effort (& quoted that article to numerous people).</p>
<p>Then I read a great book & I pretty much stopped ‘praising’ altogether & started making ‘substantive observations’ etc. [Amazon.com:</a> Punished By Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes: Alfie Kohn: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Punished-Rewards-Trouble-Incentive-Praise/dp/0618001816/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211852300&sr=8-2]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Punished-Rewards-Trouble-Incentive-Praise/dp/0618001816/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211852300&sr=8-2)</p>