<p>My daughter and I also just came back from Spring open house with an overnight and based on our experiences, I would really like feedback from fellow posters, particularly students.</p>
<p>My daughter's overnight host took her to a Frat party where my daughter got ridiculously drunk and was so hung over the next day, she couldn't attend any of the scheduled sessions.
Needless to say, I am disgusted with my daughter's immature, irresponsible and disrespectful behavior. She generally isn't a drinker (that I know of) and took this opportunity to go hog wild. I took time off from work and spent a great deal of money to take her to this event and this is how she behaved. She is very interested in U of R but really needed this opportunity to gather as much information as possible about the school because she really is undecided and only has a few days left to make such a huge decision. Because she didn't participate in any sessions, she doesn't really know any more now about the school than she did before we left. So where did it get her??
I am also dismayed at her host who, as a representative of the school, took a high school student to a Frat party. While this person is clearly not responsible for my daughter's behavior, I feel it was very poor judgement on her part to go to the party in the first place. There are many other campus activities that she could have taken her to. I wonder what administration would say or if they would care at all.</p>
<p>Maybe I am just looking to vent but I would like feedback from other overnighters on what they did, how their hosts approached the whole overnight experience etc. and how, as high school students, they felt about the overnight experience.</p>
<p>I guess as a current U of R student, I guess I'd be jealous of your daughters experience as a pre-frosh in the amount of exposure that she received on the school's social life. my experience over-night was fun, but i dont think i was exposed to a true night at the U of R. I sincerely believe that the host did a good job showing your daughter part of the social life at the University, because honestly, Frat parties are a major part of the social scene on weekends. Unfortunately, the reputation of "fraternities" have accrued a very negative reputation with their activities on most other campuses, but I assure you that in a well-regarded university, such as the U of R, frats are totally different than the stereotypes convey. People arent going crazy and running around drunk, the social scene is safe, and it's more of a mingling experience. although it was irresponsible of your daughter to actually drink, I think its a lesson well learned...and the earlier the better. This lesson i believe is to balance social life with academics, and I think your daughter failed at this in that she should have been awake bright and early to see the other, more academic, side of the university.</p>
<p>when i stayed overnight, all i got to do was discuss politics with a bunch of seniors and some other overnighters over some wine in some weird remote part of campus, and i feel that i did not get to see what an actual 'night' at rochester is like. Not to say a night at rochester is not complete without alcohol, but i'd say that large social gatherings, as a whole, are pretty common occurances and are one of the few things that make this place fun when not doing work.</p>
<p>if you have any specific questions about the academics, other aspects of social life, housing etc, feel free to post and i'll try to answer to the best of my ability</p>
<p>Imderd:
Im sorry to hear about your daughter's bad experience during her overnight visit - but KhamTim has got a point. There are frat parties at every university, on any level of prestige. In fact, my friend just got back from a visit to Harvard - 3 of the pre-frsh who were with her went and got drunk at a frat party too, and another one of my friends who went to Bucknell went to a frat party as well - there was alcohol but she didnt drink...but her friend did... (why is this happening to so many people ? lol)</p>
<p>Thing is, Im sure her host just wanted to show her the true potential of nightlife at the UofR. I myself went through the same thing KhanTim experienced during my overnight stay - I ate dinner with a bunch of freshmen and we discussed politics, religion, classes at the UofR, good teachers-bad teachers, the academics, and life in general i guess - all through the night - in a dorm. Definitely did not see much of the social scene...but then again I guess its good too because I dont plan on partying much when I get there. I got to really see the academic side of the UofR - which is my primary concern.</p>
<p>I understand your need to vent, though im sure the administration would have nothing much to say except that her host was not supposed to take her to a frat party (everyone who did take pre-frsh to frat parties probably had to sneak them in)...I guess the best thing now is just to try to learn about the academics without the visit, there's plenty of that on the website. As for your daughter, yeaa...I guess she learned her lesson. Again, sorry to hear your story - I hope that she'll make the right decisions when they really count, in college.</p>
<p>My overnight experience was great, I met some really nice, intelligent people and I am definitely going to attend. But thats just me, any one else with bad experiences?</p>
<p>i kinda laugh when everyones like, "i plan on not partying much when i go to college." because i mean if your going to college, you're going to a big party...and unless you're socially just out there, you will be partying whether or not you drink</p>
<p>I am a current student at UR and I think what the host did with your daughter was extremely irresponsible (I think you should contact admissions ASAP and discuss them with it as they would not like it at all). Sure that kind of stuff happens at every college but doing that with a pre-frosh is not acceptable. When your daughter goes wherever she goes to college she will have to make her choices and those choices will affect her a great deal, however that exposure is not when it should happen. The host by bringing her to the party placed a tremendous amount of pressure on her which most likely caused her to drink excessively. It is more than possible that when you daughter goes wherever she will go that her group of friends might be the non-drinkers and thus the chances of her being exposed like she was and then drinking would be very minimal.
A host is someone who is supposed to represent the school and that should be stopped immediately if there is a host that is acting in such a way. For the sake of the school I recommend you call admissions.</p>
<p>i don't think you should call the admissions office at all. why get that student in trouble? i don't think they did anything wrong by bringing her to a party, and she will definitely be experiencing it when she's there. the host only showed her what the true social life is. i know of so many hosts who bring their prefrosh to parties. it is not unheard of at all-it happens.</p>
<p>I agree. I don't think the host should be punished, error in judgement aside. It's naive to think that drinking does not exist on college campuses, and the ability to handle oneself in such situations is really important. In the future, the OP's daughter will not have a host around to prevent her from making bad decisions around alcohol, so perhaps this fiasco will prove to be a valuable learning experience. Furthermore, given the fact that the host is obligated to "represent the school," perhaps it's positive that she took steps to ensure that the school was presented accurately - I can't help but think that it would be a rather harsh awakening if one assumed alcohol/drinking was not part of the socialization at UR, and then found out differently after he or she matriculated. It's something to consider, anyway. Finally, drinking is a matter of choice - it isn't as though the host coerced her prospective student into excessive drinking. The prospective student ultimately had to make a decision whether or not to drink, and I don't think the host ought to be blamed for something that isn't entirely her fault. That said, it sounds like the OP's daughter made an honest mistake, considering she doesn't drink "in real life." Everyone messes up sometimes, and it's good that nothing more detrimental than a bad hangover resulted.</p>
<p>Party or no party, even if its just hanging out in the halls, any pre-frosh, at -any- college will be exposed to alcohol.</p>
<p>on a second thought, after reading the above post by hopkinslax, i must admit tho that it was irresponsible on account of the host bringing a minor into the frat party scene just due to the possibility of danger occuring in general...although there is strong justification.</p>
<p>My daughter will be an incoming freshman to UR. Her overnight visit was much like Awakien. Her host student knew that my daughter is also a musician and took her to a fee concert at Eastman. This was one of the deciding factors for my daugher, she'll be able to continue her music study as a non music major taking lessons from Eastman profs. I am sorry your daughter CHOSE to behave so irresponsibility and waste your time, money and energy.This is NOT about the host student (or the frat party) who I am sure was just trying to show your daughter the social life, introduce her to students in a relaxed atmosphere. It was up to your daughter to make the most of her visit. She COULD HAVE SAID NO thank you. This is just the beginning.......</p>
<p>I'm an incoming freshman also and I have to say that my overnight visit was nothing like that. The only alcohol I had was wine at palm sunday mass! I agree that college is what you make of it, and its up to the individual to decide whether he or she wants to take part in excessive drinking. However, I also don't think the host should have brought a prefrosh to a frat party...</p>