<p>For those of us whose children are finishing their freshman year, and for the benefit of those whose will be starting in the fall, it would be good to hear how this year's freshmen's years went overall. Any comments are welcome -- did your child like his/her school experience, were academics tougher or easier than imagined, was college living experience good, any regrets (child's or yours), and if the school wasn't your first choice for your child when he or she picked it, how do you feel about it now?</p>
<p>S is in the middle of reading week before finals, so the results aren't entirely in yet :), but I think I can say that in just about every way, this year was a resounding success.</p>
<p>S knew he was going to be challenged, attending an extremely demanding college (Columbia) after graduating from a rather uneven high school. He's definitely worked harder than he ever did before, but he's so excited about his classes, so that it's been a real growth experience for him. He did extremely well first semester, so it looks like he'll be able to handle it.</p>
<p>He picked C largely for the Core Curriculum, and that has been his favorite part of his classes so far. His friends seem to all agree that he lucked into really good sections of Lit Hum, University Writing, and Frontiers of Science (Fr. core classes), and has enjoyed them all immensely. (In fact, they want to sign up for whatever sections he signs up for next year, as he seems to have such good luck with Core instructors and classmates.)</p>
<p>Socially, he's happy as a clam. Very good friends from his floor, lovely girlfriend, and NYC--what's to complain about? Played in the marching band last fall, which was fun, though verrrry different from HS marching band.</p>
<p>Regrets: wished he'd stuck with Latin in HS, instead of giving it up after 3 years because of horrid replacement teacher. Wished he'd brushed up on it and stayed with it at C, instead of starting a new language, which he still has another year to go in. KNew this was a problem going in, but didn't realize how much it would impact on his scheduling and time.</p>
<p>Not a clue what to major in yet, and required classes are cutting into his ability to try out different things.</p>
<p>Other than those issues, he's a very happy camper. It was his first choice, and has exceeded expectations, both his and ours.</p>
<p>I don't know why I find these threads first (must be an inbuilt radar). </p>
<p>My son's first choice was Columbia for it's core curriculum. He applied ED and got deferred and then rejected in the RD round.</p>
<p>Swarthmore was his second choice but he got in Early Write in the RD round. That boosted his confidence and when we visited, my son thought it would be a great fit for him. </p>
<p>The first year has been good for him. The academics was tougher than that at colleges elsewhere according to him. The comparision point was with other kids he knows from HS. But my son is a bookish type, he loves learning, and thought he was up to the challenge. He has decided on a major and minor (or possibly double major): Political science and Philosophy. He did well in the 2 semesters there.</p>
<p>His biggest pleasant surprise was the ease with which he could talk to his professors inside and outside the class. That has given him a huge boost in confidence.</p>
<p>Dorm living was good. He luckily got one of the best (and most picturesque) dorms in the campus. The campus itself is beautiful. One of the disappointments was the food - but then he's a finicky eater. He spends a lot of money on food because he can't eat at the main eating place. And he complains about it a lot.</p>
<p>He's made many friends among his own group and also among seniors, and juniors - because the dorms are not segregated by year of admission. It is a close-knit tight community. </p>
<p>He also found a job on campus and wrote for the college newspaper as a staff writer. That was quite gratifying and he's thinking of continuing it. He has other ECs as well that keep him happy and busy. He also visits Philadelphia quite often - at least twice a month. </p>
<p>Overall, he does not have any regret about his choice. It's been unambiguously good. He's also found an advisor in his department who will guide him well, we hope. One regret I have is, we did not look into more LACs when he was applying. But Swarthmore is a good fit for my kid.</p>
<p>A resounding success would be an understatement in my sons case. For those who might remember, he had to decide between playing football (Wesleyan, Wash. U, Pomona) or not (Tulane). He was awarded merit aid at Wash. U and Tulane that covered everything other than room and board. In the end, he chose not to play football and to attend Tulane.</p>
<p>And, he loves it. He supplanted football by becoming a member of the Tulane Emergency Medical Service, a student run EMS service. He found the academics challenging, but has maintained a near-perfect GPA while taking a crazy first year load Bio, Chem and Physics, as well as Spanish and EMT class, and a TIDES class. And, for ext year he was accepted into the Leadership Village for on campus housing.</p>
<p>His social life, which really is focused on his TEMS crew (there are about 30 of them), is full and rich and encompasses everything that New Orleans has to offer good food, good music, and yes some drinking.</p>
<p>Next year he is taking organic chem., and will be applying for an early admission decision to Tulane Med. School. He will get a decision from the med school by next June. </p>
<p>In sum, the first year was everything and more he could have hoped for.</p>
<p>My son will return next Tuesday with his first year under his belt. It has been a wonderful experience for him. He's become politically active, joined a band, and done some parli debating and writing on the side. He can't declare a major until the end of next year, but he is already working towards a poli sci/philo double major and adding a music minor. He has had a lot of guidance from his academic advisor in this endeavor. His roommate left at the semester (medical), but son is doing great academically and socially. He's already applied with a group of kids for housing next year.</p>
<p>He's found that a lot of what people read and hear about Bucknell isn't so. Although oftentimes people find it too remote, son has found plenty to do in Lewisburg, and has also been able to travel to NYC, Washington D.C. etc....Another complaint is that it is "too conservative" but Bucknell just hosted the statewide College Dems convention and won chapter of the year. He's not preppy, we're not rich, and as stated above he's not an engineer. So go figure! </p>
<p>Would he do it again? Yes, absolutely.</p>
<p>I guess I will chime in as another parent of a very happy camper. My daughter is still at Brown, in reading period, then finals coming up. I can't claim Brown was or was not a "first" choice....it was among her three favorites on her list and she was happy with picking it and MORE than happy with how it turned out. </p>
<p>She has liked everything about the school. She likes the kids very much and has made many friends. She has different sets of friends from various things. Her dorm is a very close knit group of freshmen. She also is close with kids in her sport. She has friends from other stuff too. I think she found her "match" at this college with regard to the student body (had predicted this)....basically just very smart kids, motivated, engaged, involved outside the classrom, know how to have fun as well. She loves her roommate (I could tell at the drop off what a good match that was) and in fact, has chosen to room with her again next year and next to a set of two other friends. I'd say she has far more social life at Brown than she ever had in high school....and it seems like she has more time for it than she did in high school. </p>
<p>Location wise...Brown was exactly what she was looking for. She likes being able to walk down the street to some things off campus, as in Thayer Street, right outside her dorm in fact, yet still have a nice college campus. The city of Providence is in walking distance as well though she has not done a real lot there, she has done a few things from time to time in the city. While Boston is an hour away, she only went there once (last weekend) but was off campus often to other locations. Went to the Cape once to a friend's house with other kids. Has invite to the Vineyard this weekend with a bunch to someone's house but is not sure she can fit it in due to a big paper. </p>
<p>Academically, the courses are challenging and she has done very well in them but that does not surprise me cause she just is a motivated learner who puts forth 100% effort and sets high standards for herself. The work is clearly challenging and I am proud she is able to hold her own amongst kids from prep schools and much better high schools than she went to. Has not been an issue for her (I do believe the kid gets into college, not the high school from where she came). She has relationships with professors and with section TAs in the couple courses that had those. She likes picking out what she wants to study and it is hard to narrow it to four courses, but she has well thought out the areas she wants to explore, while also thinking ahead to a possible major and what she wants to do now to explore that area as well. She has continued in a foreign language out of love for it, as there are no requirements like that at Brown. She has had to do some group projects too. She is good at time management and does not sound overwhelmed. In fact, I am happy to see her taking breaks to go out to dinner or to see a show. </p>
<p>There are many things going on at Brown that makes this an exciting adventure coming from where she did. For instance, there are concerts and performances all the time. They have had speakers like Howard Dean, John Nash, Dustin Hoffman, and Bill Clinton.....all of whom she heard. Her life is full and varied there. </p>
<p>As far as ECs, the main one she has done at Brown is the varsity alpine ski team, a huge commitment but she has LOVED it. It involved daily practices all fall semester (dryland training), sometimes very early in the morning. They did a four week camp in NH over winter break and she loved being able to ski full time (nothing like she has gotten to do before) which she felt helped her improve a great deal (many of the other teammates had attended full time ski academies for high school so this was not new for them). She got excellent coaching. The team bonded so close, she loves the kids. While they were training and all, it also was such a fun time staying in condos and cooking each night, etc. Then all winter, she had to be in a van two weekday mornings at 6:30 AM to trek to a small ski area in MA. Then every weekend she traveled to races and stayed in condos or hotels with the team. My husband and I traveled to many of these. She was successful beyond her dreams but the team itself was a top team, winning the Easterns and eventually second in Nationals. Going to Easterns and then to Nationals in Idaho was beyond her PERSONAL expectations and was thrilling. She had a great time. I thought she might have been able to do her other ECs there but first semester she did not get one of the three openings in the tap dance troupe (though did not get overly disappointed) and had to miss the auditions for second semester when at a ski race but hopes to try next fall again. She just was unable to fit in wind ensemble or band there which is the first time in her life to not be playing music though still is interested. She originally was doing club tennis or soccer in the fall but the overlap with daily workout training with ski team at the same time did not work and she was going to do these teams in spring but I don't know how organized it was or just what happened with that. She was away a lot and I guess could have gone to a tennis tourney at Dartmouth but opted not to as she felt she was too out of practice having not played all winter. She seems happy and am sure has not ruled out fitting these other things in eventually if it works in her schedule to do so. </p>
<p>She is still contemplating a possible major in architectural studies, but is not yet commited to it and takes various interests but also some courses related to this to build it up in that area and to explore it. She hopes to be in a RISD course next fall. She got a new advisor she chose related to this field, who she even met at the accepted student event last April and who by coincidence is the aunt of a teammate of hers in HS varsity soccer. She is going to do a summer intensive in architecture (design emphasis) at Harvard Design School and that should help her figure out her direction. </p>
<p>I honestly cannot think of one thing she does not like about her college! I had high hopes for her going into it and surely it has exceeded that. She speaks quite enthusisastically to others who ask about her experience and to those contemplating Brown. Whether she would have felt the same at another college (very possibly so), I just know that somehow this one she chose was a perfect fit for what she wanted. </p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>Son chose Columbia at the last minute because he wanted an urban school and liked the core curriculum. He has, in fact, become an urbanite (and nocturnal as well.) He has taken advantage of the city's museums, plays, clubs, and restaurants, and only complains that not enough of his California friends come visit him so that he can show them NYC. He has loved the main core class, LitHum, its reading list and the teacher. He's looking forward to next year's core class which is mostly philosophy (hope he gets in Garland's son's section, so that good luck can rub off!) He's worked much harder than high school and has done extremely well, in spite of his grumbling about the Russian and Hungarian geniuses in his math classes. We've always told him he's not a genius, and now he finally believes us. :) I feel he's getting a wonderful education in the broadest sense of the word, both in the classroom, through the students from all over the world he's met, and in terms of becoming someone who loves and appreciates the arts. My kid is getting culture.</p>
<p>I think he is starting to feel the pinch of trying to explore his interests while completing the core -- but that is largely because his interests include physics and math. He is reaching that point at which he will have to decide whether he is a science person or a humanities person. He would say, I'm sure, that he is both, which is why Columbia is such a great fit for him. In spite of swearing he would take an easier semester next Fall, he has once again signed up for five hard classes, as is the Columbia tradition, as well as a music ensemble.</p>
<p>As for campus life, he plays in a jazz ensemble and has been elected to lead the klezmer band next year. (He had never played klezmer before this year and now has performed on and off campus.) He has learned how to play Squash and goes to the gymn three nights a week. He makes money bartending, working for the student-run bartending agency, and has had a lot of fun with that, including working an event at New York City Hall. He's got friends involved in the student paper, in campus politics, and sports. Big surprise for us was that he joined a fraternity. They don't have a big presence at Columbia and he was not interested in other colleges where they did. Can't wait to debrief him on what that is all about, but he says his "brothers" are smart, amazing, and kind guys. He won't be living in the house, and will be sharing a room with a friend in a dorm on Broadway.</p>
<p>He's looking forward to just about everything next year except having to choose his major. (And, the winter weather, I'd guess. He did get hit by the winter doldrums which is what gives me faith that he will ultimately move back to California.) Columbia seems like a very intense place, and I'm realizing how much more intense he's always been than his friends. I couldn't live at the pace he's living this year, but he truely is thriving.</p>
<p>It is FABULOUS to hear the updates about last year's crop of seniors, especially as I remember most of them so well. </p>
<p>One question no one has yet asked, but I will: how have you parents found this past year with your child away? Any tips on adjusting or preparing for the empty nest syndrome?</p>
<p>Thanks so much for this thread and the posts.</p>
<p>In particular, Garland and sac! My California girl is headed to Columbia so I read your posts with special attention. She has a lot of confidence in her decision as I. Based on the descriptions of the experiences of your children, I hold a great degree of hope that she will also be as happy as your kids are one year from now. I am so excited for her. I expect Columbia to challenge her, but whats funny is, most of our friends and family bring up the weather! Its certainly understandable considering we (SF Bay Area) have the best weather in the world!! As she gets into the college life, I think she will have much greater concerns. After all, she is 18 and 18 year olds are quite special :)</p>
<p>CongratS, 09Mom! I'm confident your D will have a wonderful time there, and work harder than she ever has.</p>
<p>Weather wasn't a problem for my S (we live about 20 miles from the school), but Sac's from the Bay Area as well, so her S's experiences will probably pertain more to your D.</p>
<p>I have a piece of advice: have her sign up as soon as they're offered to one of the CO-OP trips. My S did the river trip and had the time of his life--that one fills up the fastest, I believe.</p>
<p>Carolyn, the school year is almost over and I feel as if I should be used to things by now, but I'm not--it's hard. I really miss my college freshman, even though it is so busy with those of us still here, with all sorts of work and family and school things going on. We're really happy and thrilled to hear how college is going, but it's as if the rest of us are still here in our same life, only missing a loved one. I think that's why I come to cc sometimes, just to feel a little closer to college! And also because we were so clueless about some things (yet incredibly fortunate) that I wish I could help other people a bit, though there is scant evidence of that as yet. I am, however, an ever-hopeful person. :)</p>
<p>My DS definitely thinks he made the right choice. It was and has been everything he was anticipating. Socially it has worked wonders for him. Academically it has been very challenging. He finds it real difficult to get his A's now and tells me the study habits of high school does not work. Getting straight A's which seemed fairly easy in High school seems to be difficult. I am hoping it takes them time to get adjusted to the college way of studying . It is a big change and he says there is no more hand holding like there was in his small private HS.</p>
<p>"Any tips on adjusting or preparing for the empty nest syndrome?"</p>
<p>Carolyn, the empty nest syndrome was very hard on me. Especially with a total vaccuum to fill on weekends. My weekdays are usually busy (sure, I find time to write on CC, though). It struck me harder this semester, after January. The reason is, my son, for whatever reason was more in touch in the Fall. This semester, he has taken off on his own....hardly calls, or if I call him, he's usually busy and will tell me 'I'll talk to you later'. He's found new friends and interests. </p>
<p>I've found a new interest and am pursuing it. My husband and I have become "closer", if that's possible to do after 25 years of marriage than we ever were. Our time at home is unstructured which is wonderful. There is some structure associated with preparing for the upcoming week, but then, it is a lot more unstructured than before. My work keeps me very busy but I'm hoping that will lighten up a bit. </p>
<p>I even love Mondays, watching a special show at 9 with hubby....well, there is life after kids leave, that's my message.</p>
<p>I know this might not be the most popular sentiment on this board but I have enjoyed certain aspects of my daughter being away. Namely, none of the teenage girl angst/drama/melancholy/moodiness/ups and downs that seemed to pervade the house at times when she was here everyday. I miss her, of course, because she's my child that actually talks WITH me i.e. when I ask her a question, she thoughtfully answers in complete sentences (see: second child is a non-communicative sullen teenage boy) and I miss that part. Plus, she is the sweetest girl I know and I miss having that sweetness around e.g. if I talk about a friend's little twin babies, she'll ooh and aah and giggle and think that's so cute.</p>
<p>I also REALLY don't miss her crap all over the house. She's not the neatest thing and tends to come in the house and drop her stuff everywhere - kitchen counter be damned. Her room is always clean and neat and the bed is always made and I can always see her floor. I really like that!!</p>
<p>As to her first year, well, we're not in the "oh the first year was absolutely fabulous camp." Parts of it were (are) very good and that mainly has to do with academics. Loves her classes, class size, professors and what she's learning. Grades are better than she ever had in high school. Loves the campus and the friendliness of students. Loves her dormmates - has made some good friends but not as tight as her high school ones. Hated the effect mono (1st semester) and emergency surgery (2nd) semester had on making school work more stressful. Hated sorority rush. Has struggled to fit in socially and find her place in the college "society." Knows she doesn't quite fit in and is wondering what to do with that: transfer? stay and try and work around that? This has been a transition year for a relatively naive young woman experiencing some bad things and, in the long run, will be a stronger, wiser more mature person but going through it can be downright painful. She can't wait to finish finals and come home for the summer. I think she needs to regroup and think about some stuff without the stess of papers, tests, finals, readings, etc.</p>
<p>youngmom -- Unlike high school, straight A's in college ARE rare. We actually told our son that so he could relax some. Not that we don't expect him to do his best, but most students who graduate with honors did not get all A's.</p>
<p>09 -- Welcome to the club of West Coast parents sending their kids off to NYC. (Maybe we should actually start that club!) Feel free to e-mail me with any direct questions.</p>
<p>Carolyn -- Obviously I haven't done too well with the empty nest thing, or I wouldn't be on CC as often as I am. Sigh...</p>
<p>Fredo -- Just saw your post and can relate! I felt the same way when my daughter (oldest child) left, but when I said it out loud people looked at me as if I were an unnatural mother. It's been harder with the son because he's the last and because he's gone so much farther away.
Mono and surgery in the first year -- ouch. Your kid must be something to overcome that, and do so well, all the while feeling she may not be at the right school. As one who felt that way my first year, I was always glad that I did transfer. Good luck to her with her decision making over the summer.</p>
<p>{{{{Fredo}}}}...because of parents like you, I hesitated to even post my child's reaction to her freshman year. I just know there are some out there where it has not been all peachy keen. I joined in cause others did but I was thinking all the while, what if someone reads it and has a child who has not had it gone so smoothly? I dunno but I feel for those situations and Fredo, you have had MORE than your share this year. So, this one's for you <3</p>
<p>I also wanted to pick up on your comment about some of the things you DO NOT miss by having your child away from home. I hear ya on that. I will admit that I don't have this with my current freshman daughter because she was just such an easy kid who was atypical for a teen daughter, I think, and so she just never did that stuff that many of them do. However, the reason I know she was atypical is cause my second teen, the one heading to college in the fall, is well, more, uh, like YOUR teen and many other teen girls! And I am gonna miss her terribly just as much as the first kid. However, since I have experienced separation from her many summers to summer programs, I can admit that certain things in daily life are well, easier, or calmer, when she is away. And that part of daily life, I don't miss so much (though I guess when she leaves for good, I will even miss that a little). Life is very different without that........ well, do not know what to call it...."spirited" teen behavior going on....and yes, her stuff all over is a part of it too. So, I know what you are talking about! It does make life interesting but having a break from it is not so bad either!</p>
<p>Susan</p>
<p>My #2 is finishing up his freshman year at Lewis & Clark. It has been a very good experience for him. For a kid who never seemed to find his nitch in high school, he is very much at home at L&C. Has lots of close friends in his dorm. He has very much enjoyed the classes for the most part. (He didn't like the prof he had for a required class first semester, but said 2nd semester with a different prof was much better.) He plans to major in biology and really likes his bio advisor whom he had for a class first semester. He has always been a strong student although somewhat lazy. He finds college harder than high school and has definitely had to take things up a notch, which is a good thing. Never much of a joiner, he has taken up pool and poker and plays occassional Ultimate. He was a percussionist in high school and I thought he would join band in college, but didn't. However, he has started doing African hand drumming and is talking about selling his drumset that is collecting dust in the basement and using the money to by a djembe. </p>
<p>He really likes Portland and stayed out there for spring break to go back packing. There is a free shuttle into town and he has taken advantage of concerts, movies, Powell's Books, and going out to eat occassionally. He is looking forward to home cooking but will miss his friends quite a bit this summer, I think.</p>
<p>As for the empty nest, we have been doing our gradually. We now have 2 in college and one finishing his junior year in hs. Both the college boys will be home this weekend. I am looking forward to seeing them both, but not as happy about the added chaos, clutter and noise level that it will bring. But it will be good to spend time with them and hear all about their years.</p>
<p>Empty nest? It took 5 minutes to adjust. We eat when we want and what we want (and that sometimes includes cereal for dinner), go where we want (without the whining), buy stuff for us for a change, and more. Kids are a bit annoyed, and actually have admitted to being worried, when they call and we're not home. We were always home waiting for them to come home, so they have no concept of us being "out".</p>
<p>D's first year at Carleton has been great. With H, S, and my experience with big state U's, her stories of professors who know her name, have lunch with her, and help her with writing drafts have been impressive. She's experienced the usual pitfalls of maturation here and there. She has become very bold at advocating for herself. She was very lucky with the roommate match and will be rooming again next year with a terrific young woman. Plays her high school varsity sport for fun, and joined the varsity track team without any prior experience. Loves this new activity and the benefits of avoiding the frosh 15. Academically, she works her tail off and is constantly busy. Grades have been pretty good for a former 4.0 val taking mostly science, math, and a new language so far. She's been relieved with B's in a couple of classes. She's looking forward to being a New Student Counselor next fall for the class of 09.</p>
<p>quite a different slant to this:</p>
<p>Son finished two weeks ago, was home for a few days and is back "home" at Univ of Redlands for May term. May term is one class over the month. He worked hours and hours because he is a music perfomance major. He loves his school, made tons of friends kept up the good grades. He surprised me by joining the music fraternity. Next yr he will be treasurer and community service rep for the fraternity. He is our only child, born 11 months after we married. So this is probably the most time we have ever had alone. We started off going places for dinner, joined the winery wine club-means we visit the winery every other month to pick up our 2 bottles of wine and do some tasting. Son is just down the block from husband's work so we are close enought to attend all concerts. I think son would have called more if he lived farther away, he comes home when they lock them out of the dorms. He has called about once a month. I saw him on the web cam the first week and that somehow stopped the empty feeling. The dog really took the loss the worst, he hates to see the kid pack up after vacation visits. </p>
<p>Things went better than I expected, faster than I thought and we are all happy. Waiting to see how summer goes.</p>