<p>I'm a senior, taking mostly AP's and Honors; plan to go OOS in Va. I don't have a job. (Marching Band prohibits) the question is will I be ready to leave? One part of m,e says YES! YOU BET! and yet another says hmmmmmm maube not. I like the independence part. But if I got sick (REALLY sick) I'd hate to go it alone. not like im over thinging this or anything...just thinking about it.</p>
<p>Wabash,
It is funny that you mention this as today my daughter said for the first time that she too is having doubts about being far away. In fact, she said that if she doesn't get into her first choice school, she will just go to a school here in California. This is after a year of talking about and visiting schools across the country. She used the same example you did --- what if I get really sick? I assured her that (1) there are health services on campus (2) there are doctors in town and (3) Mom will fly out in a true emergency. </p>
<p>But, of course, it's not the health thing that's really behind the question: it's doubt about whether she's really ready to spread her wings and go off on her own. I think this is a very normal thing at this point in senior year --- for the first time you are considering who you will be and where you will be as you begin adulthood and no one really likes leaping into the unknown.</p>
<p>The truth is, adulthood is going to come no matter where you end up and I believe you --- and my daughter --- will both become fine adults and survive whatever bumps there are along the way, no matter where you go to college. And, there WILL be bumps, whether you go close to home or far away. There's nothing wrong with either choice --- but neither will be 100% perfect, just different.</p>
<p>So, take a deep breath, and follow your plan of applying to some out of state schools and some instate ones. In a few months, you may have a different take on things, and that's perfectly OK. You will know the right path for you when it appears in front of you.</p>
<p>thanks for your imput. Like I said before, my parents are pushing ISS! whicxh on the one hand makes me mad becuse they aRE squishing my independence.</p>
<p>Wabash,
I completely agree with carolyn. My son is a cautious person and after applying and being admitted to schools all over, decided to go close to home. Conversely, some are risk-takers and some just want to get as far from home as possible. Another factor in play is that when you have it pretty good, you are reluctant to change it too drastically. People know in their hearts what is best for them, and I think you should go with that.</p>
<p>I think my parents show dettachment anxity more than I do.</p>
<p>Carolyn gets it. There is nothing healthy about a college aged kid wanting to stay close to home. It's pure insecurity, fear of the unknown and having to depend on yourself. A healthy adulthood will require going it on your own. </p>
<p>Sorry, having it good has nothing to do with it. Having it good means having the strength to go out on your own and still enjoying and appreciating the role parents you love will always play in your life. I so appreciate that my parents want me to fly the coop. They are always there in such a healthy, non controlling way.</p>
<p>My son went 3000 miles away and was both ill and injured the first year. He had no trouble at all--plenty of support from roommate, school and other friends, plus us over the phone. Not a problem.</p>
<p>S was living in the dorm for a six-week college summer program. This had a modest effect on his opinion of how able he was to live away from home, and a huge effect on my opinion.</p>
<p>I think everything is manageable. Take the chance and go where you really want to go.</p>
<p>Suze--"There's nothing healthy about a college kid wanting to stay close to home". A little harsh and judegmental don't you think. Who is to say that going away from home to college is the best road to take. Yes it is the most common but many choose not to go that way for a variety of reasons, healthy and not so healthy. I am as concerned about the kid who is driven to find a college 3000 miles away from home as the one who feels like they can't leave the nest.</p>
<p>The Op's reason is unhealthy: fear. He will be best served to make efforts to grow past his fears. Of course some people have different needs that may keep them close to home, but when the reason is fear, it's unhealthy and needs to be dealt with. I think that's fact rather than judgement.</p>
<p>So then NEW question: How do I quell my parents fears?</p>
<p>What are they afraid of? Do you have some sort of illness where they expect you to become ill?</p>
<p>Just as a suggestion, have you thought of looking closer to home, but still OOS?</p>
<p>I was independent at a <em>very</em> early age (like, the womb early), and during HS clashed a LOT with my parents. When I first started looking at schools, part of me really wanted to go across the country just to get away from my hometown. My parents were pretty supportive, but I know they wanted me closer, and we ended up looking at schools which weren't too far to visit, but not a convenient stroll down the block. (Lucky for me, my dream school happened to be about a 2 hour train ride away.)</p>
<p>Make sure your parents know you're not going to lose all contact with them if you go away. The distance actually brought my mom and I a lot closer together.</p>
<p>I think Wabash's case is somewhat unique in that the school that is far away from home is a very unique school. In fact, there is only one other school like it in the country, which would also be far from home for Wabash. (Wabash is interested in a 4 year all-male college). There are undoubtably other good co-ed schools closer to home, but if he truly wants to go to such an unusual school, he has to go far from home.</p>
<p>yes--and I think my parents are STILL unnereved about it.</p>
<p>I think that may be the crux of the issue Wabash - they haven't yet bought on to the concept of you wanting to go to an all male school. I know your Dad liked HSC when he visited --- have you and he visited any of your local publics and closer private schools? Maybe he needs something to compare.</p>
<p>Why are they unnerved about it, because it is all male? Do they have worries that you're gay?</p>
<p>Carolyn--we will be be visiting the local public and private colleges in my state this year..sometime.</p>
<p>suze--or turn that way.</p>
<p>and I guess becuse it is soo far away. My dad also works 2-3 jobs so I could go to an ISS 75% free.</p>
<p>Wabash, I have a friend headed to Smith, she is gay, and her parents didn't know until she began applying to women's colleges. I guess this is the way many break it to parents not open to their homosexuality. So you probably need to level with your parents if you are gay and get it out of the way, or just tell them you're not gay if that will assuage their fears (and it's true)!</p>