<p>Hello.
So theres this guy in my class who always follows me and my friend around. He's a really quiet kid and doesn't have many friends because he doesn't talk to anyone. I took test prep with him last summer and he was the only person I knew so we talked a lot and I guess became friends. My friend and I get to school early everyday so we usually just wait in the cafeteria, and he's always there because he eats breakfast. So we talked a lot, and I guess since we were the only people nice to him, he thought we really liked being his friend. Then we started monitoring for teachers in the morning and at lunch. Usually the boys in my class go outside for lunch, but he just follows my friend and I upstairs. He doesn't do much, he just follows us upstairs and walks around and doesn't say anything. Then, he started following me and my friend home after school, even though he lives in the opposite direction. He followed us each about two times, so we told him nicely to stop following us, and he did. But it's still kind of annoying how he follows us everywhere. He doesn't sit down at a table unless we sit down first, and then he sits right across from us. We had a free day yesterday so i played cards with my friends. He would just drag a chair over and watch, and whenever we switched tables, he follows us to wherever we move. If we move a couple more times and he gets the message, he sits there and cries. I tried talking to him nicely, then ignoring him, then being kind of mean and letting him know that I don't want him around, but nothing worked. He'd stop for about a week, then forget about it and start again. My friend somewhat thinks he has a crush on us, but we don't like him in that way. He's also a really sensitive person. Even when I told him nicely to stop following us, he cried for the rest of the day. Ive tried talking to him, i tried ignoring him, i tried to be mean, but he still follows us. He stopped following us home, but my friend has extended day and she says he waits for her outside the exit. That is just plain creepy to me! She gets dismissed about 20 minutes after him and he just waits there. I don't think he's dangerous or anything, but its getting really annoying. Help? Does anyone have any ideas please?</p>
<p>If you don’t think he’s dangerous – would it really be the end of the world to try to include him in things? I know I’m playing the devil’s advocate but he doesn’t seem to be very disruptive - he just likes the company or rather, not being alone 24/7. There was a boy like that in my World History class - he had no friends so he’d constantly sit with me and a few of my friends at lunch. He’d never really talk or anything - just sit there and eat, and if we changed tables (just arbitrarily, not to avoid him or anything) - he’d move with us. We kind of just accepted his presence. </p>
<p>Being lonely sucks, man.</p>
<p>We try to include him in some things, I don’t want to completely pretend he doesn’t exist, but he follows us every chance he gets. And its not that other people are mean to him, they’re nice when he talks to them, and I think they would be his friend if he just talked to them more. I wouldn’t mind including him in some things, but sometimes I just want to talk to only one or two friends and maybe its something private, and I don’t want him around for everything.</p>
<p>Just say that you need space every once and a while.</p>
<p>One question: why the heck is he crying??</p>
<p>Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk</p>
<p>You’re all high school students? Have you talked to your parents and guidance office about what’s been going on? They’ll be able to advise you how to handle it. If the boy gets so upset that he cries for half a day, an adult should really be alerted, for your sakes as well as his. The teachers and guidance staff can help students who are struggling, but only if someone lets them know about it. They can’t tell you if he has issues, but they should be able to advise you how best to deal with him. As long as they feel he’s not dangerous, it would be a kindness to include him. </p>
<p>I can understand his confusion. You spent a good deal of time talking last year and he assumed you were friends. Now sometimes you talk to him, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you’re mean, sometimes you’re not. If a group of you are playing cards in front of him, could you make an effort to include him? If there are open chairs at your table, can you ask him to join you? The more people he has an opportunity to interact with, the more friends he’ll have an opportunity to make, which will be good for all of you. There’s nothing wrong with excusing yourselves if two of you want to have a private conversation, but if you’re just eating or studying and there’s room, it’s going to look mean to send him away. </p>
<p>However, do make sure your guidance office and parents know he sometimes follows you home. Maybe he is just lonely or confused by the mixed signals you sometimes give him, but you need adults who are familiar with all of you to monitor the situation and advise you.</p>
<p>Give him a chance, he might have something going on that you don’t know about. It sounds to me like he might have social anxiety, which I can say from experience is really hard to get over.</p>
<p>There was a kid who did the and thing to me and my friends. We’d talk to him, but we’d also push him away. Over time, we came to accept his presence, but he started drifting away into a different “social group”. The same will happen to the guy you’re talking about. Take my word for it.</p>