Annoying suitemate!

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>College suitemate bully is a creeper!</p>

<p>So I started college this year, and I initially was friends with this suite mate until I found out he was a total freak. I think he has some resentment towards me because I stopped hanging around him and made new friends and he's basically a loner because he has no social (EQ) intelligence whatsoever. He always says the disgusting wrong things to people like: that girl is so hot i want to get to know her and bang her in my room and is a total sex deprived person. He only sees girls as objects which I find degrading. Trust me, I've tried my best to deal with him for the first 2 months - I shared my water, my books, my printer and everything - I've let him into my room - But I seriously couldn't take it anymore after that. </p>

<p>He ALWAYS knocks on my door repeatedly even though I refuse to open it, is excessively loud, doesn't close the door when he uses the toilet and farts really loudly. He also harasses me by tapping my butt and calling me 'cougar boy' and sexy, but bullies me by calling me 'gay' which is really annoying. I'm not gay - but I guess I'm feminine by american standards because I dress nicely and take care of my hair/dye it. </p>

<p>The worst thing is though is that he is a total CREEPER. He would stand outside the hallway and just wait for me to come back, or when he sees me on the streets he gives such a stalkerish glare and starts charging at me. I don't know what to do. I have my resident advisors who are seniors, but they might think I'm being childish. It's not like they can just make me move out or convince this creeper to stop doing this. </p>

<p>What should I do?</p>

<p>Also: everyone in the suite doesn't really like him, but they don't have that same hatred towards him as I do because he targets me specifically. I'm friends with our floor mates and suite mates - he is the ONLY person who I don't get along with. Is he jealous of me because he constantly calls me gay and ugly - when everyone (not trying to be self obsessed or narcissitic) knows that I'm WAY better looking than he is.(I'm above average looking, quite tall, dress nicely, skinny - while he is short, muscular, uglier and very stocky.)</p>

<p>I don't think he's gay - he's quite manly and overtly said he hates gays.</p>

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<p>This does sound like a really annoying problem to have. Sorry to hear about it. I think it is time to go to your Resident Advisor. I have been a Resident Assistant for three years now and have dealt with a similar instance only once. My resident had a suite-mate that was basically stalking and harassing him. The first thing I do in ANY roommate/Suite-Mate conflict is make sure you have talked to him. I know it can be embarrassing sometimes but this is the most crucial step. So, have you talked to him about all of this? As you have come to realize, everyone is different. He may not realize that the things he says and the things he does is inappropriate and not “ok” to your standards. This could solve the problem; if you want to resolve the conflict then go through this scenario:</p>

<p>Make sure you talk to him while you are not hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. These traits will make you more irritable and irate. When you talk to him give him three GENUINE compliments. (You are a really clean person and help out tremendously with keeping the bathroom clean etc,. It is important that you these are genuine, if they are not he will be able to see right through you.) After these three things you should transition into letting him know what is wrong. DO NOT USE THE WORDS “BUT” OR “HOWEVER.” By using those words you will negate everything you just told him. (You can say…“I do have one problem. I don’t really like the way you…”) After you let him know what you don’t like see if he, or you, can come up with a solution. After one has been found then make sure you say,“Do you think you can do that for me?” Make sure you get a verbal confirmation. A verbal confirmation tells the mind it is a contract and you are more willing to remember and do it.</p>

<p>If you are not comfortable going through this then talk to your RA. Let them know that you are exhausted and don’t know what to do anymore. </p>

<p>Hope this helped,
-C</p>