<p>I wanted to make a comment - and I hope it’s heard in the spirit I intended - which is just cautionary and concerned… When I attended boarding schools there was one suicide and several attempted suicides. In every case it was a student who was at the school by parent’s choice, not their own. My D also sees cries for help - although not as drastic - at her own school.</p>
<p>Yes - a lot of adolescents suffer from depression because they are, in many cases, going through emotional and hormonal upheaval. Which is why it is critical to consider two things when looking at boarding schools:</p>
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<li><p>Where does your child want to go (not where does the parent want them to go, which has better stats, which has …fill in the blanks…that might look good.) These three to four years are going to be lived by the child, not the adult.</p></li>
<li><p>If the school is not the first choice - embrace it - celebrate it. For those who are disappointed students - don’t go if you aren’t prepared to love the experience. For those parents - stop pining for the option your child didn’t get and celebrate the one they did. It’s important to go into the situation with a positive attitude so when the going gets tough, there’s a foundation.</p></li>
<li><p>Stop looking at prestige and start examining which schools pay attention to students and have support systems in place. I remember someone “pooh-poohing” the choice our family made because I called it “nurturing.” They don’t coddle, the academics are tough, but every faculty knows what each kid is doing and they meet regularly to discuss. They know who is eating, who is dating, who is getting along - or not - with a roommate. Stop looking at just stats and look at the environment your child is going into. What is the school’s philosophy towards its students?</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I saw the same thing at MIT when I entered. Suicide of an upperclassman because he was used to be the “best” and was now at a school of “bests” and felt he couldn’t measure up. This at a school that doesn’t care about class rank and set the first year (back then) at pass-fail. It was internal pressure, not external. But i suspect he was also feeling pressure from parents.</p>
<p>So be the support system at home. Be the cheerleaders. Stop pushing for extra AP’s, yelling about an 89 won’t get them into an IVY, and stressing out about five hours of SAT practice a day starting Freshman year. Instead push for quality of life and balance.</p>
<p>And students - that goes for you too.</p>
<p>Be smart, or keep that kid home. (and when they call home to vent - let them - don’t judge, don’t try to fix it. Help them find resources on their own so they can spread their wings and fly on their own.) </p>
<p>Been there, seen too much of that.</p>