Another Grade My Essay Topic

<p>Just wanted to check where I was one last time before the exam. Thanks for the help!</p>

<p>Topic:</p>

<p>The old saying, "be careful what you wish for," may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow one's perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life's difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once "success" is achieved than they were before.</p>

<p>Assignment: Can success be disastrous? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>Success, more often than not, is given a wholly positive connotation. Success means happiness. But a narrow minded conclusion fails to acknowledge the fact that success can be a two sided coin. Success means contentment. Success means settling with what you get. As such, while success leads to personal fulfillment, it can potentially preclude one from advancing further and achieving greater success.</p>

<p>The drawbacks of a superficial initial success are best exemplified by the civil war. Ultimately, it was a war fought to reunify a nation divided over the issue of slavery. The chances of victory for the North were auspicious. They had greater manpower and a stronger economy. Lincoln wanted the war over as quickly as possible. And a quick victory might’ve been accomplished, if it weren’t for the blunders of General McClellan. But if the North had succeeded in attaining a swift victory, there would have been no need for the emancipation proclamation. The emancipation proclamation was a political statement rather than a call to action, but catalyzed the end of southern slavery. Lincoln issued it to preempt Britain from allying with the south by appealing to their slave sympathies and turn the civil war into a battle over slavery. So in the end, failure proved to be a boon for greater success. The issue of slavery was mended fully, rather than patched up haphazardly with a bandage that would eventually peel off again.</p>

<p>Additionally, success in one’s goals can leave them worse off than before. In Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”, humans have succeeded in inventing some of the most advanced technology imaginable. But these technologies, by coddling the human race to an extreme extent and by raising their dependency to unprecedented levels, has left the average human weak and feeble. They lack any sort of autonomy in their lives. Because of humanity’s technological successes, life has lost it’s beauty and edge. Man has entered a realm that it was not meant to.</p>

<p>Paradoxically, success can be its own failure. As trite as it may sound, when one door closes, another opens. A present failure can evolve into a future success.</p>

<p>Thanks again!</p>

<p>Bump. 10char</p>

<p>5/6.</p>

<p>Your second paragraph is underdeveloped, especially when compared to the first.
Also, be careful. You have a well-defined thesis, but I’m not entirely sure it answers the assignment question.</p>