Another UC Personal Statement Critique

<p>Can anyone read my personal statements and give your advice on it? Thanks! I will post it once I get some volunteers.</p>

<p>sure i'll read</p>

<p>yea, send it over</p>

<p>i ll read it</p>

<p>i will read it</p>

<p>ill read it.</p>

<p>i'll read it.</p>

<p>oh my lol. Okay, let me send it to all of you.</p>

<p>Decent. First one had a good premise, but didn't turn out as interesting as I thought it would be.
I liked the second one since I like photography. I am biased. :D</p>

<p>The third part was very revealing. I liked it, but you might be focusing too much on your brother and not on yourself.</p>

<p>beastmaster, what do you suggest? What was the first essay missing? I too felt that my first essay was missing that something to spice it up.</p>

<p>sachit, did you get my private messages pt. 1 & 2?</p>

<p>soloboe, did you get pt. 2?</p>

<p>EDIT: beastmaster, I'll see what I can do.</p>

<p>Hard to explain. I don't think I can pinpoint it, but you sort of lost me after the second or third sentence.</p>

<p>Ahhh, I see what you're saying. Fixing...</p>

<p>ill read too</p>

<p>sure guy..</p>

<p>I'll read as well.</p>

<p>i'll read it</p>

<p>i will read it pm me</p>

<p>i'll read it and give u some good advice.</p>

<p>sure i will.</p>

<p>pm me; i'll read it!</p>