Another Waitlist dilemma

College Majors Theater/Drama Majors
21

<p>Emmy, last year my S’s choice came down to Fordham BA in Theatre and NYU BFA in the MT studio. As you know he chose Fordham’s BA. </p>

<p>He came into the program a strong and well trained singer/actor but has had very little formal dance training. The BFA in MT surely would have filled in that gap for him. He knew going in that putting together his own MT training program at Fordham was a possibility, but the likelihood of him being able to actually continue to pursue voice lessons or to attend classes at the wonderful Ailey school was, in reality, slim to none given how busy he would be trying to double major in Theatre. He was correct in his assessment.</p>

<p>So what made the decision SO much easier then? Not what he may NEED for training but what he WANTS to do, in college, NOW. He didn’t want to spend his days focusing primarily on Theatre, he wanted more variety in academics and the realistic albeit difficult possibility of double majoring. He feels that there will ALWAYS be a need for further training…that is how actors continue to grow. But college will fly on by. And he’s right!</p>

<p>I think that sometimes it’s easy to overthink a situation and the lists of the pros and the cons end up getting in the way of listening to your inner voice and trusting your gut. Your D has two excellent but different choices and you both know that she will do great wherever she ends up. </p>

<p>I think the only question she really needs to focus on right now is how does she want to spend her days over the next four years? And once she answers that question truthfully and for herself alone, she will have made her decision. AND she will be very happy with it. </p>

<p>Best of luck! :)</p>

22

<p>EmmyBet re: Post #20:</p>

<p>I understand it is very difficult because she had moved on in her mind to Adelphi by May 1 and then this offer came along. </p>

<p>Do you have any idea had she gotten the offer from Brandeis in the RD round by April 1, how your D would have decided then? I think you said both schools were tied for #3 on her list, right? </p>

<p>As I wrote earlier, it would be clearer to me to pick Adelphi if your D really wanted a BFA and much preferred to go to college for a BFA. But from seeing her college list (or whatever you shared here), it came across that your D applied to a bunch of BFAs and a bunch of BAs and it wasn’t like a BA was a “backup” option only as it might be for a kid who only wants a BFA but added one or two BA sure bets just in case no BFAs come through. Your D had a bunch of BAs, and not just the safety variety…Bard, Northwestern, Vassar, Brandeis to name some. It came across to me that she was equally considering a BA path. (in contrast to my D who only wanted a BFA and only applied to BFAs). However, I sorta infer from several posts since the wait list at Brandeis came through that your D seems to prefer the idea of a BFA. Before Brandeis ever came through with the offer, did she seem to be leaning toward earning a BFA? If that is her preference, it might make sense to pick Adelphi. Then again, she opted to stay on Brandeis’ wait list which indicates to me she was still willing to consider BA options. Like I said, I know kids admitted to BFAs who chose to enroll at a BA. Based on your D’s original college list and based on her desire to stay on Brandeis’ wait list AND based on the fact that Brandeis and Adelphi were TIED for 3rd place on her list of preferred colleges, comes across that she has considered and been interested in both BFAs and BAs. But some of the most recent posts have an underlying theme I’m maybe reading into them…that she likes the idea of a BFA. </p>

<p>It sounds like you can afford either school and are willing to send her to either school and support that, but by the same token, a free tuition can’t be taken lightly, particularly in a case where she doesn’t STRONGLY prefer the more expensive option and was happy originally to attend the free ride school (which she already picked over other acceptances such as to Bard). </p>

<p>It might be easier to stick with her original choice as she was happy with it and this is causing some angst. However, the fact that she wanted to stay on Brandeis’ wait list and it was originally tied in terms of her preferred colleges, also implies she may like Brandeis just as much. </p>

<p>Hopefully she is writing down a pros/cons chart and comparing them with each other in every way and seeing which one pops out as aligning the closest with her ideal in a college. Once she decides, no need to look back. Both schools were ones she supposedly liked equally and so can’t go wrong. </p>

<p>Ask your D what made her want to stay on Brandeis’ wait list…the answer to that might be telling. </p>

<p>I’ve read others who suggest flipping a coin and seeing her reaction to the coin toss!</p>

23

<p>Thanks again for the great input. I really appreciate it.</p>

<p>We’ve continued to look at pros and cons. A really terrific website for this kind of thinking is collegepick(dot)us. It lets you plug in whatever criteria you want and then rank the criteria, does all of the calculations and gives you really valuable comparisons.</p>

<p>Way back, Adelphi actually trumped Brandeis (and we deliberately did NOT put in cost). But she has more information and more complicated factors now, and she’s going to try it again.</p>

<p>Yesterday she told me “I lean … and then I think. I lean … and then I think.” I know she’s working hard at this choice, sees the win-win and naturally vacillates. We gave her a deadline of Weds to inform the school (which means Tuesday is the last day to talk about it). Weds night is our HS awards night, and we feel strongly she should go there with her choice made, feeling confident and settled. Hopefully this deadline will quicken her thinking (I think Brandeis wants to know by Friday, anyway). </p>

<p>I know everyone hates to put a price tag on education - for lots of reasons, including the fact that it’s pretty hard to decide if very many things in this life are actually “worth” $200K. We are also in the situation where we did pay full freight for her sister, and were happy to, and we don’t want her to think we’d ask her now to sacrifice when D1 didn’t. So we’ve downplayed the finances for many reasons, and I deliberately didn’t mention them at the beginning here because I really wanted to know people’s gut feelings on value and quality.</p>

<p>The comments on training, academics and peer relationships are all really, really helpful. Thank you to everyone for the wonderful PMs as well.</p>

24

<p>EmmyBet, sounds like your D is doing all the appropriate things in weighing this decision. I really think it will turn out well for her with either school. Both are good for her for different reasons. Also, like you, we did not have our kids figure the cost/scholarships into the decision of where to attend and in fact, in the case of grad schools for my oldest D, she has turned down much larger scholarships in order to attend what she saw as the best fit (and in this case, these were not considered “better” schools in reputation necessarily as the larger scholarships came from top schools as well). So, if you are able to take cost out of the decision (not saying everyone can or is willing to do that of course), you’ll know your D really picked the best fit. Once the decision is made, she’ll move on and it will all be good!</p>

25

<p>OK, the win-win situation has resulted in a victory!</p>

<p>D thought long and hard and decided to stick with her original plan to attend Adelphi. So many things were keeping the two schools even in her mind that it was a very hard decision. But in the long run she asked herself how she wants to spend her time every day, and she chose the BFA. She also realized how important it is to her to feel personally connected with her teachers, and she definitely had had that feeling at Adelphi. In addition, she is very aware of the opportunities her scholarship will give her, both during her college years and beyond.</p>

<p>Because it is true that she has always had a place in her heart for a really fine liberal arts education, she did have an evenly-balanced list between BAs and BFAs. She also is less experienced than many students who are auditioning, and she knew that in the end she might come up with no options there, so her non-auditioned list was long. She absolutely planned to go to college and did not want to spend a gap year re-auditioning.</p>

<p>She was honored to be offered a spot at a very high quality BA program. But in the end she is very happy to have this opportunity to get a great BFA, including both excellent theatre training and an deep grounding in liberal arts through the Honors College.</p>

<p>Thank you to everyone who helped us in this extra chapter of our decision-making process. It was quite a learning experience!</p>

26

<p>Congrats to your D on her decision! :)</p>

27

<p>Whew…that’s over! Yay for the decision! I think your D made a good decision and carefully weighed it. I had inferred from the most recent posts that she really felt the desire for the BFA and for Adelphi and predicted (to myself) that she would pick it. And she also had in her mind she was going there and sometimes once you have moved on, it is hard to step back. So, she was happy with her original decision to go to Adelphi and is just keeping with that plan even though another nice offer came along. Your D wins. Now to look forward to the adventures that await her!</p>

28

<p>Congratulations! I suspected Adelphi as well! The best of luck to her and I"m sure she’ll love it!</p>

29

<p>Congratulations and welcome to Long Island! :)</p>

30

<p>Congrats, Emmybet, to your D, what a decision to make!
Congrats to you, too!</p>

31

<p>Congratulations! My instincts were that this is the decision your daughter would feel most right about… and by undergoing this last-minute “test of fire,” her decision is now even more secure.</p>

32

<p>Great decision, congratulations!</p>

33

<p>Congratulations! And I know we can trust you to tell us all about how things go for your daughter at Adelphi, Emmybet. :)</p>

34

<p>Emmybet - Congrats to your D on making her final, final decision! Best of luck to her at Adelphi in the fall.</p>

35

<p>Thanks, everyone. I definitely will give updates.</p>

<p>Best wishes to the Class of '12! May your journeys be smooth and your destinations happy ones!</p>