I’ve been invited to a December wedding at a resort in Mexico and need some help with wedding attire. I understand the ceremony is planned for an outdoor chapel—invitation says “Black Tie / Grassy Terrain”. Until I saw the invitation, I’d planned to look for a fun maxi dress suitable for a beach wedding and wear flat/low-heeled sandals but now that plan won’t work. ‘Beachy’ and ‘black tie’ don’t really go together–Plus, I can’t wrap my brain around wearing flats with a black tie-appropriate dress. (–Although my pathetic, arthritic feet rather like that plan!) Any ideas about what a ‘woman of a certain age’ might wear? Open to all suggestions as long as it’s not too matronly and, perhaps, not sleeveless… Thanks in advance to the fantastic fashionistas and super shoppers for your help!
I don’t have any real suggestions except to say that if you wear a long dress no one will see your feet. The last time I wore heels was to my cousin’s wedding where they sank into the grassy terrain. It was miserable. Be grateful to have been warned!
Black tie = bling is OK.
Grassy terrain = warning, heels might be a problem.
My guess is that they said black tie to keep the guys out of jeans and shorts
I used these heel protectors for son’s wedding in the grass. Didn’t have any problems with heels sinking in.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002CWYCQW/ref=dp_iou_view_product?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I also like block heeled sandals for grass. Maybe something like these:
If you prefer a shorter dress, I think these work well with black tie.
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/pisarro-nights-beaded-mesh-column-gown-regular-petite/4908976?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FWedding%20Guest&color=021
https://www.lillypulitzer.com/pauline-maxi-dress/007562.html?dwvar_007562_color=4222BX
https://www.dillards.com/p/kay-unger-v-neck-34-sleeve-stretch-crepe-gown/512961787
https://www.dillards.com/p/betsy--adam-asymmetrical-neck-scuba-crepe-gown/512105740
https://www.dillards.com/p/lauren-ralph-lauren-xandra-ruffle-jersey-gown/512884296
https://www.dillards.com/p/betsy--adam-illusion-neck-floral-embroidered-chiffon-gown/512105730
https://www.dillards.com/p/lauren-ralph-lauren-valencia-cape-back-chiffon-gown/512790218
https://www.dillards.com/p/tahari-asl-bow-neck-sleeveless-sateen-ball-gown/511561794
https://www.dillards.com/p/komarov-accordion-pleated-sleeveless-charmeuse-gown-with-shawl/512078910
https://www.dillards.com/p/adrianna-papell-floral-halter-chiffon-gown/512255785
https://www.dillards.com/p/xscape-short-rouched-puff-shoulder-boat-neck-gown/512367753
https://www.dillards.com/p/adrianna-papell-flutter-sleeve-boat-neck-floral-chiffon-gown/512961917
https://www.dillards.com/p/adrianna-papell-halter-floral-print-chiffon-blouson-gown/512169252
One thing that seems to be important to keep in mind is that covid has thrown a wrench in many plans, especially for gatherings and travel. If you’re not positive you would attend if there are travel restrictions or wedding is greatly scaled down, you may want to be sure about return policy on things you may buy for weddings.
Two weddings we were supposed to attend 4/20 & 12/20 were canceled. Not rescheduled yet. My niece & sister were supposed to attend 4 weddings—those were changed to mini events for immediate family only.
Anyhow, one more thing to consider.
For shoes I’d go with either a dressier looking flat or wedge – they are out there. And I think your idea of a maxi-dress would be fine as long as it is not too casual. I wouldn’t overthink it – you will be one of many guests and as long as you don’t stand out in any kind of inappropriate way you are just fine.
I think this kind of wedge could work, especially with longer dress. I like AK wedges, but many are too casual, and this nice one seems sold out - https://www.amazon.in/Anne-Klein-Womens-Loveme-Sandal/dp/B07JG4VLG4
I love that second one.
Love the Adriana Pappel Floral Embroidered V-neck elbow sleeved gown.
@Nrdsb4 By “second one,” do you mean the Rebecca Taylor honeysuckle dress at Bloomies? I love that too and feel it is unique looking and also would be good for this particular occasion. Plus it is marked down to $400 from $800 (frankly don’t think it is worth $800 anyway).
No, I was referring to @GRITS80 second dress, embroidered sheath dress.
But you posted several really pretty ones that could work for OP.
Thanks very much for your help and all the suggestions! When it comes to ‘all things weddings’, I often feel like a dinosaur! I remember the days when it was gauche, even inappropriate, to mention preferred dress on the invitations. One knew what to wear based on the time of day.
As the mother of boys, I’ve prepared myself to “Shut up and wear beige”–another relic of the past, apparently! I recently saw an MOG wear a bright yellow, strapless, flowy gown at a 3 pm wedding and she looked great! Guess I’m living in the past and need to toss some of my old ways.
I’m thinking I may choose a long dress and wear cute flats–just need to re-program myself and decide that black tie attire with heels isn’t necessarily the only option. I’ve seen some sparkly ballet-type flats online that might work nicely. Would prefer something affordable-- spending a lot of money on a gown that probably won’t be worn again, in addition to travel, hotel, etc. adds up so quickly! Glad I have some time to shop.
Again, thanks for your help!
I’m not a very fashionable person, but wanted to note that I wore these to a wedding recently and they were extremely comfortable:
https://www.amazon.com/LifeStride-Womens-Wedge-Sandals-Black/dp/B07DVBC9MG/
In general I love Lifestrides for my slightly wide feet with narrow heels. They also don’t break the bank and hold up really well over time. Usually I’ve worn through the sole entirely (not an easy feat) before the uppers really show any wear.
Almost as much as wedding dresses/apparel for the bridal party, I think wedding attire is over thought and overspent so much of the time!
If you are not someone who is likely to re-wear a dress or shoes for an event like this please consider buying second hand or renting so that you can save room in your closet and reduce footprint on the planet!
My soapbox for these one-time occasion fashion decisions!
I actually feel the same way (except if MOB or MOG). But I do love looking at the links in these threads 
Personally it’s not a frequent decision because (even before Covid) going to a wedding has been a rare treat. But our son has been engaged since just before Covid, so once he sets a wedding date/venue I’ll be shopping to splurge on a MOG dress.
I shared on another wedding attire thread that I wore dressy Crocs under my MOG dress!
Dress was long, black and sparkly, and the shoes were not visible. I wanted to be comfortable! I don’t typically wear heels.
The exact shoe style is no longer available, but were sort of similar to this Croc style: