OK, so my D is a junior this fall, obviously we have lots of time to make lists of schools and get info. etc. BUT I am having panic attacks over when it comes time to do all there is to apply senior year! AARGH! I dont know how we will be able to manage all the applications and if there are pre-screens and sending in all the SAT scores and recommendation letters to 10 schools! Cause everyone keeps saying you have to apply to at least 10…so I am having anxiety! Plus then setting up auditions and scheduling them around school obligations and travel, and also making sure each school has what it needs paperwork wise and plus filling out the FASFA form…ok so just wanted to vent and share my panic attack…lol
Think about it like eating an elephant…one bite at a time. You will not have to do it all at one time. Breathe, breathe breathe and then drink lot of wine. Oh and make sure your daughter loves her safety…it makes all the stress disappear…
I know it is hard to imagine…but those of us who have gone through it, worried how it would all get done on top of what is already a busy life for our kids. But it someone does get done and we have all lived to tell the tale. Pacing things out really helps. You are starting early in fact!
You are ahead of the game b/c you are already thinking and planning. I strongly advise starting to visit schools when possible- you learn a lot about what you like/dislike etc (even in general terms) that way. I also recommend (if you can afford) a college summer program between junior/senior year- if only b/c it is a good warm up to many of the elements of the process. (Many include Applications, essays, letters of rec, prescreen-type videos) Really helped me feel like we had some experience with what would be needed. And D’s success being accepted to summer programs helped build her confidence for auditions as a whole.
Anticipation was a killer for me. I remember how grateful I was that son hadn’t chosen to pursue MT/Acting BFA until mid-way through junior year because I would have been even further around the bend. I’m a “planner” by nature, and it appears you are too 
You will get through the process, and as toowonderful noted, you are ahead of the game. Take this time to encourage your child to explore BFA and BA programs, and to begin to hone a balanced list of schools using criteria that is essential to D and her parents. The period between August and December was intense, paperwork and scheduling wise, so much so, that it was a relief when it was finally time for son to audition, and I felt like I was passing the baton. Son took the entire process in stride, while I came to CC to vent and find support (which I did). I was able to project a semblance of sanity to my son, allowing him to remain relatively stress free so he could enjoy the auditions and the experience as a whole.
Go ahead and make a simple monthly calendar for things you need to do from now through the end of the auditions. Sometimes just writing a checklist down with dates can help calm the nerves and help you feel productive. When you can start crossing things off your list, you will have a great sense of satisfaction and progress! So for example:
July, 2015:
Visit college campuses of all types
Have D study MT programs of interest on-line. Request brochures and create a file for each school.
Read lots of plays. Find characters/monologues you like that suit you. Create a notebook of all possibilities.
Listen to lots of music. Find characters/songs you like that fit your voice type and personality. Start creating a book with copies of each in it.
August, 2015:
Plan when you will take SAT/ACT
If doing a test-prep course, decide which one and get signed up.
Sign up for dance, voice and/or acting classes for the upcoming school year if needed
September, 2015:
Work hard on academics. Grades will matter.
Talk to school counselor about taking music theory if offered at your school before you graduate if possible.
Audition for school shows
Try to take on a leadership role in a group or club if you don’t have one already.
You get the idea… of course as you get closer to auditions, your list will get longer and more specific. But I find having a list is always helpful - especially for those of us who worry
Remember you have a huge support group here on CC in addition to your friends and instructors at home who will help remind you, cajole you, inform you, etc… so do not ever feel you are alone in this process. You will get through it!
Best wishes to you and your D. Those 2 years were some of the best times my D and I spent together as we crisscrossed the country in search of the right program for her. So although there is much to do, try to take a deep breath and enjoy your D and the process. It goes by fast!
If possible, have your D finish taking all her SAT/ACTs by end of JUNIOR year. This would mean taking practice tests in December/January - often a student’s very best scores - then do a second if desired/necessary in April - June of junior year. This will save you having to deal with scheduling ONE MORE THING in senior year - and junior year scores are often better anyway. If she MUST take a test as a senior have her do it no later than October of senior year.
Breathe.
Thanks for all of your kind words! I am just pretty much a planner by nature and a worrier also. Is it bad that I am secretly hoping this year my D changes her mind and ends up wanting another major that is easier and that you only apply to like 3 schools ? lol. I know she would be miserable if she wasn’t in a performing major in college though or at least it appears that way up to this point. Guess anything could change. I do think though that she has been chanting MT for so long now that if she even wanted to change she would feel she is “letting everyone down”. I hope she isn’t thinking that and it sounds cliche but I do think she was meant to be on stage. I know we all think that but you know how it is…all the people who approach you who say “Your daughter is SO meant to perform”…or “your D has such stage presence I am drawn to watch her when she is in the show”…people have been telling me that since she was about 10…I am not sure how one handles that when you are 16 and just beginning to think of college. I cant imagine her doing anything else as her parent but I also don’t want to pressure into a field that is so difficult…Adults will even say now to her "Oh like for when you go to college for theatre…"like they are just assuming its a done deal. I even broached the subject of other majors to her just to let her know that we don’t EXPECT MT as her major if she has other interests (which she does but they are always secondary…like the fashion industry, etc) and she then proceeds to get mad at us and really defensive…so frustrating. Maybe it is just too much for her to consume right now. She even said the other day that the college thing scares her and she cant believe it is only 2 years away. We were going to walk a college next month just to see one and she acted disinterested. Maybe I am pushing things too early…but I feel like with if she really does want MT we HAVE to start early, no choice…anyway…so sorry to go on and on. Thanks for listening!!
@theaterwork, at her age, they have no clue. When people say all those things, these kids really can’t comprehend the competition out there. They want the gift that keeps on giving. They want to keep feeling what they are feeling. They don’t want to research it this soon, and they don’t really understand the need to. Yes, YOU get it from reading CC, but… she is a teenager. I’m not putting her down; she is normal. She is living her experience. My guess is she will go on, you will do most of the research, and she will get in somewhere. THAT’S when it gets hard. She will be in a school with lots of other people at least as talented. And then she’ll graduate, and the bar is raised even higher. The time to say, “You know, it is totally ok if you decide not to do this” is THEN.
The information you and D glean from college visits and college fairs over the next 6 - 8 months can be useful for ANY college major - things like size and location; traditional ivy-covered halls or modern urban; North, South, East, or West, big or small; the campus “feel”. She may not see the need to look at these things now, but she will be grateful when it gets closer to actually making decisions - whether MT or Mathematics. If it’s at all possible to go to a Visual and Performing Arts college fair this fall, I would highly recommend it.
Agreed! We visited most every college within a 2 hour drive- and learned a LOT about what D liked and didn’t liked in a campus
I find that the “unknown” can put the fear of God in you!
For me, I like to know as much as possible ahead of time. To be honest, when my child was a junior, I checked out the applications for some of the colleges that she was interested in (and yup, sometimes I had to make a phony account just to access the actual app, to see what it entailed).
I also checked out the common app essay questions because I had heard that they hadn’t changed and had her start on them during the summer. Those essays can drag them down sometimes.
For my daughter, the process actually wasn’t bad, and she did participate in her spring musical as well as held down a job. But I am an obsessive planner (and I like it)!
I think by its very nature, CC predisposes its posters, lurkers, skulkers to being at least a bit obsessive about planning. Otherwise we’d all be hanging by the pool or shopping for shoes that don’t have taps on the bottom or super-starched boxes in the toes. What’s that story about the grasshopper and the ant?. . .
I totally agree with mom4bwayboy - and obsessive research/planning helped me feel like I had “some” control…which helped me maintain “some” sanity during the process. But as a counterpoint… D knows someone from her school a couple years ago who had decided not to do theater in college. But lots of people were going to Chicago unifieds, so she went along. And then she decided to do a few walk ins- completely unprepared with songs/monologues etc. As I have heard the story (2nd hand from my D and staff from school) the girl had no headshot/resumes, schools took a snapshot, and resume was on legal paper. Admitted to two BFA programs. And then she went with her original plan and didn’t do theater in college, but it just goes to show you!
Sometimes grasshopper wins. . .
Yes @toowonderful I have a similar situation where one of D’s friends who NEVER plans anything, has no parental help to speak of and sorta just wings everything and sure enough they end up doing fine w/ various things having to do with theatre. It drives me nuts. Perhaps I should take a step back and “calm down” as my D says…seems like this approach has previously bitten me in the _ss. before however…
I agree about the “wing it types” they boggle the mind- I think it would make my head explode! It has been a challenge for me to step back now that D is at school- Even just in the sense of not knowing her day to day life (the way I did when she was at home). Freely admit that I spent a ton of time in the fall stressing about control issues and letting go- but she handled things like a champ. Most frequent calls for advice were laundry related. (So I guess I see where my real value lies ) Nice thing is that D was able to get theater work/gigs at home this summer- so she is back and I have gotten to catch up on lots of the nitty gritty. She’s been talking a lot about MFAs this summer- so another round might in the future after all!
@theaterwork Our D’s sound very similar (same age and interests) as do you and I. I found CC about a month and a half ago and had the EXACT same panic attack. Thankfully there are some very fantastic people here on CC and they have reached out and provided a plethora of knowledge. Thank you to all of you out there!!! (esp @MTmom2017) I literally spent almost an entire work week researching the “how to’s” before I could finally calm down. Many will say that CC will stress you out, but I find it to be the complete opposite. Once I got past the info overload I find a huge amount of solace coming here when a question pops into my head. SOOOO I will hold your hand if you hold mine and we can walk this crazy journey together :)!
Yes @brightstaral we can be the blind leading the blind lol. Who knows if my D will stay on the MT path. It sure seems like she will. Guess this year will tell. Right now she is annoyed because in the show she is in this summer she did not get the lead…lol even though her part is good. She normally doesnt get mad over this but feels she was the right choice, so grouchy! Otherwise she is doing some dance and coasting toward jr year. CC does sometimes make me panic but then I try to remember some posts don’t really apply to us. My D will not be applying to a lot of the schools mentioned on here like CMU and NYU , so the pressure for those is at least off in terms of financially & so forth.
@brightstaral are you in the south or east? Wondering if you are going to the SETC in March with your D? I think we are going. It has been recommended by so many. Her school doesn’t go but it is not that far for us to go since it is in NC this year.