<p>I've heard people say that Andover and Exeter are "pressure cookers" and very intense places. Do you find this to be true? Does it attract students who are very competitive, either with themselves or with others?</p>
<p>I read a review from a girl who decided to do a gap year after her experience at one of these schools. She loved her school, but her confidence was blown after being in class where "there were always 5 people smarter than me" so she thought she needed some time before going on to the Ivy that accepted her.</p>
<p>I don't find Andover to be a "pressure cooker" as much as it's occasionally very stressful. It's noticeable that people are competitive, but I don't feel it's overwhelming. The stress and pressure is strong during 11th grade spring and senior fall when the focus on college also puts a focus on grades. While I certainly know people who are extremely concerned over their grades, I also know those who don't place much importance on them. Generally, students learn to balance social life and work fairly well. I've never felt like this is a place where people work 24/7.<br>
If a student is very competitive with others, any top boarding school will be hard. Most applicants are used to being the top of their schools. It's a shock that people are just as talented as they are, and it takes some adjustment before they learn to compete with themselves instead of against others. A lot of applicants are also not used to the kind of work load that we get. I remember coming here and not knowing how to study or how to manage my time. I thought homework meant busywork. I feel as if I've earned my grades, but I haven't slaved for them. I think that if people are too concerned with their classmates' grades instead of focusing on improving themselves, it would be a tough environment. It's true you're not going to be the best in every class, but I guess that's another way the school prepares you for college and beyond.</p>
<p>exeter is pretty high intensity, and the participatory method of conducting class puts more pressure on the individual to perform. gap years are not necessarily frequent, but people consider them more thoughtfully than, say, a public school kid dying to get out of his/her home and into college. Also, gap years tend to put the world back into perspective after being in such an isolated environment for four (or however many) years. lots of kids do cool things, though. I know one person who is sailing around the world (paid for by an exeter scholarship) and another who went to a culinary school in france/italy, so it's not just for taking steam off.</p>
<p>academically, exeter is known to be rigorous, more rigorous than their traditional rival, andover, but a lot of kids go to exeter looking for that. Personally, I felt, when i was accepted to both, that exeter presented more of an intellectual challenge than andover did, and it's something that you should definitely expect before going. I wouldn't say "pressure-cooker", because you'll find more cutthroat ranking-induced pressure at public schools and competitive magnet schools, but the quality of a boarding school education, in general, demands quality from the individual. now that I'm at college, I find that the more competitive individuals are the ones from public schools who are used to clawing their way to the top. personally, i'd find public school life much more stressful, as it's all about percentages and ranking and really glitzy extracurriculars (on top of SAT classes and trying to learn all the stuff that public schools dont teach you). people at prep schools are much less crass about competition.</p>
<p>I have to say that Andover students would likey disagree with you sanduhra when you say that Exeter is "known to be more rigorous" than Andover. You perhaps felt Exeter presented more of an academic challenge, but personally I know a student that felt Andover did and was accepted to both. And, in fact was not accepted to Deerfield.<br>
All of the top schools - especially AEDS are academically intense and they all offer very similar academic challenging environments. This is not from being a student, but from our placement couselors who have placed many students there over the years.</p>
<p>Not to hijack this -- and maybe it should go to a new thread if it gets more than 1 or 2 reactions -- but readling that article reminded me of a convention that I never came around to liking as I picked up various school papers during school visits: referring to faculty, staff and administrators as Mr. or Ms. or Dr. followed by their surname.</p>
<p>Instead of referring "Phyllis Psychobabble" as the Director of Student Counseling -- or even Dr. Phyllis Psychobabble" -- the editorial template for almost every school publication calls for the initial reference to an adult to be devoid of first names. So the first time we hear from Phyllis, it will read, "And that's why we reupholstered the couches in the Counseling Center this fall," said Dr. Psychobabble, Director of Student Counseling at Hotchfield Prep.</p>
<p>I'm a big fan of "yes, ma'am" and "no, sir" and showing respect for adults, but I find this anti-first name convention to be demeaning and detracting. I think it would be fine to use the titles for subsequent references to an adult. But as an adult reader I am taken aback by never being introduced to other adults by first name. Practically speaking, as a parent reader, I find it useful to know the adults on campus by first names. But as an outside adult reader of publications, with no practical interest in learning first names, I just felt this convention discredited the writer and reminded us of the writer's subordinate position. This is particularly true for the better written pieces that I've encountered (the one by olivia567 ranks among them) because it is sort of jarring to be hit with a reminder that "Oh, well this is just the perspective of some kid who is pretending to be a journalist."</p>
<p>Am I alone on this? Does anyone find this convention to be appealing?</p>
<p>EDIT: Oh, and on topic, I've pretty much regarded the "pressure cooker" status of any institution (other than the military) to be an internal matter, specific to the individual who encounters the institution, not the institution itself.</p>
<p>I'll have to disagree with you, d'yer. In this age of lax manners, I find the practice refreshing and I think it implies the respect that faculty and staff deserve. I don't find it demeaning or detracting in the least.</p>
<p>I don't know....on the one hand, I'm a conservative who always calls my elders "Mr./Mrs" and I do insist on my children calling their instructors by title as well (even though at my son's bs some instructors ask to be called by first name). However, I do sometimes feel "old" to hear myself referred to as "Mrs."</p>
<p>I work as an instructor at a community college and most of the time by the end of the semester the majority of the students still don't even KNOW my name, first or last! Believe it or not, I was actually called "dude" by one student this semester.....
I do have to add, I absolutely HATE being called "ma'am", it is a pet peeve, it just rubs me the wrong way, don't know why, perhaps a childhood trauma!!
As to the original question: My older son graduated from Exeter last spring, the work load was never a problem for him. He is not a type "A" person, he was happy to do his work and if he got B's and the occasional A he was fine with that. He ended up getting into the college he wanted to, and know that he is there, he is happy to report that he is MORE than prepared for the work there. My second son is a prep at Exeter, and has just finished his first semester, he studies more than his brother, but he seems a bit more driven. However, he seems to get most of his studying done at school during the day (he is a day student), and usually only has about an hour of work to do at home. I am sure that the work load will increase for him after this semester.</p>
<p>In response to NewYorker22, any of us can usually find many who are smarter than we think we are. Know thy self. Any school can become a "pressure cooker" given the right circumstances. Andover and Exeter have great reputations for being a lot of things. It's been said here many times -- fit is everything.</p>
<p>Current Andover student here. The whole cutthroat competition thing only manifests itself if you go into every class trying to out do everyone. There's a very simple way to keep your confidence and that's to simply not constantly compare yourself against your peers. Ironically, it seems that the most successful of us are the least cutthroat. </p>
<p>Yes, Andover is intense. Anyone who says otherwise isn't doing well. A lot of kids drop out--especially in '09 for some reason, there was like a series of 6 kids who left in 3 months. Is it doable? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Just make sure you know what you're getting into.</p>
<p>*It feels great to be done with exams and on winter break. </p>
<p>There are times at Andover, when I feel a little stressed out. This year has had its tough moments, as courses are ramping up in difficulty and college counseling is on the horizon. However, I wouldn't call Andover a "pressure cooker". The majority of students here have a good balance between academic work and activities. Whether its writing an article for the Phillipian or even just attending a hockey game, there are easy ways to let off some stress and forget about classes for a minute. </p>
<p>I don't find the atmosphere overwhelmingly competitive. Sure, people care about their grades, but most students keep their results to themselves. I don't feel like I'm competing with others just to speak in class. </p>
<p>As Sugerkim stated, the biggest issue for many Andover students develops in their first few days on campus, when they realize that they are surrounded with over 1000 equally impressive peers. If you've grown up as the "star" student or athlete, it can be tough to adjust to the idea of knowing you're not the best at everything. Eventually, I think that most students are able to get past this initial shock, but some remain stressed throughout their time at Andover.</p>
<p>It's really helpful to hear from current students/recent graduates of Andover and Exeter. Let me bring Deerfield and St. Paul's into the picture and ask this question: which of the four schools, AESD, give 9th graders the most support/structure/time to adjust? I am guessing that adjustment might easier for incoming 9th graders in the smaller schools but I might be wrong.... what do you all think? (I hope we hear from St. Paul's and Deerfield students, too!)</p>
<p>Afraid I can't comment on the 9th grade experience for Deerfield SPS or Exeter, but I know that freshmen at Andover get a lot of structure to help them adjust to things. Freshmen all live in all-9th grade dorms with 11th grade prefects to help guide them through things, most take classes with all freshmen, freshmen all have separate advisers, there's a week-ish of new student orientation to adjust everyone, and they even extended fall term to help ease transitions. Also, rules are stricter for freshmen (more supervised study hours, parietals don't start until the winter, lights out etc etc) and all freshmen take 6 courses to help them get used to time-management. I think its a good system, personally.</p>
<p>My freshman experience was very similarly structured to xGods_Favoritex's. We lived in freshman/sophomore dorms, with one faculty member and two senior "proctors" living on every hallway of 10 to 14 students. Each student has an adviser they meet with regularly (all four years and, in many cases, beyond) and a "green key", who acts as a go-to upperclassman for the first few weeks until the freshmen have learned to get up on time and find their way around. There's also a loosely enforced lights-out policy for freshmen to encourage better time management, and the internet gets disconnected at a certain time. I hadn't done homework before going to DA, and I didn't find myself too overwhelmed. Talking to other prep school grads at my college it seems like most schools have extremely similar programs for orienting freshmen, and the difficulty adjusting is just about constant.</p>
<p>xGods_Favoritex and thekidhere, thank you! Sounds like there are great systems in place at your schools and others to get the freshmen used to the prep school environment.</p>
<p>xGods, I have one more question for you. The six kids in the '09 class who dropped out in the space of three months... when did they drop out? Soon after they arrived or much later? I'm just wondering if kids realize right away that they don't fit in or if the pressure of high level courses and college application process get to them later on. Thanks!</p>
<p>Well at Andover there are three terms--fall, winter, and spring. Traditionally, fall has always been much longer than the other two...stretching from September all the way to December. This year they extended it a week more to accomodate the transition for new students.</p>
<p>What was weird about the '09 kids is that they all dropped out about a year after they had first matriculated. The incident--or rather series of incidents that prompted a Phillipian article--all occured during 10th grade fall for '09 and most of the kids that dropped out were here for freshman year. Generally, one or two kids drop out immediately from homesickness or whatever, and a couple more just don't come back at the end of the year. The '09 thing was unusual.</p>