Any Christians Reduce Tithe While Kids in School?

<p>I have to point out- that religions that are not Christian also tithe- although not necessarily 10%.
Hindu, Islam, & Ba’hai, practice tithing.</p>

<p>WHile most of us can’t cut out our regular financial commitments just because we have * another* financial commitment, I think that the church that allows sweat equity to be used instead is very compassionate.
:)</p>

<p>emeraldkity…thanks for the clarification. I did not know that. In fact the moderator and I had a discussion about that very thing…neither of us knew if that was a general faith practice outside of Christianity…we actually discussed how to make this thread inclusive.</p>

<p>One of our pastors encouraged us to tithe. However, he suggested 5% to the church and 5% to other charities. Catholic education could be considered as part of the second 5%. I thought that was an excellent way to present it. We are pretty close to making it equal, but still don’t give quite as much as we could to outside charities. </p>

<p>Debrockman, I feel that any patient that your husband does not collect from should be considered as part of your tithe. The tithe can be more than just money. Time and talent are surely a part of the equation. A visit to a doctor who cures ones illness can be priceless. </p>

<p>When my husband does the taxes, I always have him wait until the end of Turbo Tax to add our charitable contributions in. It is always interesting to see just how much the deduction makes in the tax equation.</p>

<p>Whoa. A- I didn’t imply that you were getting a handout debrokman, you made it clear in your first post that you were not. I was asking a question about whether it is ethical to give with one hand while taking with the other. Obviously most on this thread think it is- question answered. B- I pay full ride, and plenty of taxes, as well (and contribute to charity), so I am not getting a handout and pointing a finger at you.</p>

<p>DeBrockman, I am not a Christian and don’t want to hijack your thread, but if you have an interest in how other religions approach this question, I would suggest you google Maimonides principals of charitable giving. He was one of the greatest Jewish theologians and scholars in history- a towering figure in Jewish religious life whose influence is hard to overstate- and a practicing physician as well. He outlines 8 levels of giving and you may find some guidance there.</p>

<p>What is interesting about Maimonides principals is that he takes into account the attitude and the state of mind of the giver as much as that of the recipient. And so your concern about reducing your giving and what it might mean to you spiritually, is very much part of his ethical code.</p>

<p>Another great Jewish sage was once asked if it’s better to give one beggar a dollar, or to give 10 beggars 10 cents. His response was that it is preferable to give 10 beggars 10 cents, because it is the act of giving, and giving frequently, and doing so with kindness and without resentment, which is the foundation of living an ethical life.</p>

<p>So I am not your religious leader, but I feel confident that just by asking the question and wanting to do the right thing, you are partway to finding an answer that doesn’t shortchange your own financial security while still meeting your societal obligations.</p>

<p>I assumed that Jews were tithers because the tithe is old testament. I will look at the Maimonides principles. Thanks for the reference. My husband’s practice has been a challenge, for sure. But he was a poor rural kid and he feels very comfortable in the population he serves. Rewarding in ways other than money. But tough.</p>

<p>“Tithing” in Judaism is very different from in Christianity: [Question</a> 12.31: How does tithing work in Judaism?](<a href=“http://www.faqs.org/faqs/judaism/FAQ/06-Jewish-Thought/section-32.html]Question”>soc.culture.jewish FAQ: Jewish Thought (6/12)Section - Question 12.31: How does tithing work in Judaism?) If I understand correctly, in Judaism, you give money to your temple through dues. “Tithing,” although I don’t think people use that word, encompasses all charitable giving above what you give to your temple. If you grow crops in Israel (which is what the tithing obligation in the Bible involves), then I think that if you’re Orthodox 10% of the crops are supposed to be given away.</p>

<p>Interesting, Donna. Not sure how that all translates to modern ways of earning income, but certainly interesting.</p>

<p>The Bible says that the tithe is the Lord’s–it belongs to Him. So while we have discretion with how much we give in offerings, the tithe is not ours to keep for any reason. Well-intentioned Christian people define and calculate the tithe in different ways, so I think talking to your own pastor about your church’s view of this is a good idea. Regardless, I do think there’s a danger in getting too “creative” in the accounting. It seems to me that then our mindset will be one of looking for ways to pay less rather than seeking ways give more. You wouldn’t want to become stingy like the Pharisees and start weighing every last herb leaf while neglecting the state of your heart’s motivation. Personally, I view the tithe as a percentage of income, which in our society generally comes in the form of money and stocks. (Even if you get paid in livestock or crops, the church would probably prefer you to sell it first and then give the money!) In my opinion, the giving of other gifts like time and talents would fall into the discretionary category of offering, not tithe. But if your pastor/church looks at it a different way and would agree that your volunteer time constitutes a tithe, then as a physician you are in a superb position to offer your time and knowledge in a way that would be quite valuable to others.</p>

<p>As for the college choice, perhaps you should approach it first from a different angle. For now, temporarily separate the decision of where your son should attend school from the issue of your finances. Your family should spend a lot of time in the next few weeks praying about where God wants your son to study. We did that with both our older children and God answered pretty clearly. In fact, believe it or not, recently two Christian friends of mine called me up to say that when they were praying, they had a strong impression of my D at a particular university! I didn’t tell D, but when D and I visited that school, we both strongly felt it was where she was supposed to be. Unfortunately, it was the most expensive of her choices, which made me pretty uncomfortable and I began to doubt it was the best decision. But in prayer, God confirmed it to me several times. So, once God answers that question for you, then you can more easily trust that He will provide the finances for that particular school. It took a lot of faith to send my son where we did (was also more expensive than his other options) but we also prayed a lot for guidance, and followed the Biblical admonition to seek wise counsel. So he asked the advice of 5 people (all but one were non-Christian) who worked in his planned career field for their opinion. He told them the general details of his options and what the impact would be on finances (ie. if he’d have to take out loans or not to attend), and all but one recommended the same school.</p>

<p>Please report back on what happens!</p>

<p>Very good advice GFG. I have a strong belief that my son is to be at his first choice school. At the same time, I have a strong belief that we should not borrow for his education. Not to sound overly pessimistic, but my husband’s income will not rise, it is much more likely to continue to decline with healthcare reform. And I do not think that we will see job market recovery of significance for a long time. I think that college debt is going to be a big burden for the next generation. I do not think that the real financial of their jobs will not justify the cost of borrowed college money. Over the next year, though, we do start losing some of our expenses…car payments, etc. With some very careful spending, I think it will happen. But it will be tight.</p>

<p>We are one of the biggest contributors to our church-my H knows, because he chairs the finance committee. I have always pushed us toward tithing, and some of my work is always charity.
We decided, after much agony and prayer, that we would have to cut our contribution to the church by 50% to stay solvent for the next 4 years. We actually gave notice with our pledge 6 months ahead, and had to let it go. The church received an increase in pledges greater than our decrease.I was very relieved. I had already picked up an extra weekend a month of work, which is about all I can stand and be a good mother. It’s complicated, but for me I felt I had to be able to meet my earthly obligations. Obviously, we aren’t tithing right now. But we likely will again.</p>

<p>Oldbatesie…I can “hear” in your post how much you have agonized. I am sure tha God understands your heart. Clearly the increase in contributions to your church was God’s way to ease your concern. Isn’t it amazing how he does provide.</p>

<p>I don’t tithe (I’m an atheist) but it sounds like you might want to consult a reputable Christian financial planner. Your income might be high enough and you have medical issues and college funding to worry about so it might be worth it.</p>

<p>We have not changed our giving to our chuch.<br>
We told our kids we could only afford our state schools and were not willing to go into debt or have them go into debt. We have good state schools and didn’t feel attending one would be a detriment to them and graduating debt free a big plus. </p>

<p>debrockman, is your S adamantly against any schools you could comfortably afford?
Would going to the private sch. affect areas of your life other than church giving?<br>
Given your DH’s health and future earning potential, have you talked with your S about the financial impact the private school would have on your family’s life? </p>

<p>It is a hard decision that is likely to be fraught with some feelings of guilt/remorse not matter which path you choose.<br>
Talking with your pastor might help, although it may put him/her in an awkard situation.
I would think it would be difficult for a minister to advocate reducing church giving in order to pay for an unaffordable college option when there are more affordable choices.</p>

<p>I’m certain there are many others in your situation. I hope through prayer and discernment, you will find your answer.</p>

<p>Packmom…there are two wonderful in-state school options…IU and Purdue :slight_smile: Since he is interested in Business, both choices are pretty good…IU better than pretty good. </p>

<p>I think that there are two major things working against those schools in his mind. 1.) Many kids from his high school will be at both IU and Purdue. I really don’t think he should weigh that as heavily as he does. Both those universities are very large and there will be many other kids to get to know as well…obviously.</p>

<p>More significant to me are his other reasons. He thinks that IU is just extremely large and maybe a little too much of a party school. I personally think that IU has done an amazing job with their learning communities and they now have one for the Business School that people think very highly of. I would not want him to live in a typical frosh dorm, however. I was not impressed with the level of insanity in the dorm my daughter lived in…but I have heard that this is much more a function of the RA than the dorms in general. </p>

<p>I feel like if we cannot make his other school choice (Miami of Ohio) affordable, which is REALLY in his hands…if he qualifies for a scholarship there on his merit, I can come close to swinging it. If not, it was his lack of effort, rather than our lack of money that kept him from attending :slight_smile: </p>

<p>I’m sure that there will be some privates interested in him with merit money. He had an 800 math SAT and is in the top 10% of his class…plays varsity Volleyball…does mission work. But an OOS STATE school might not be as interested.</p>

<p>And yes, we are making quite a lot of family budget cuts. We dropped our swim membership, gym membership, vacations. I eat a brown bag lunch every day at work. Our daughter’s health needs are very expensive and she is also in school. I am just running out of places to cut. I’m trying to get my husband to agree to see our house and move “down”, because our home is large and requires a lot of maintenance…but that is easier said than done in this housing market :)</p>

<p>Thanks for all the advice everyone. You have given me lots to think about in the public forum and in private messages.</p>

<p>…with respect to the discomfort of our pastor…our pastor is awesome. It’s kind of a pastor’s job to deal with discomfort, right? :slight_smile: Especially if it relates to questions about theology.</p>

<p>One of our pastors encouraged us to tithe. However, he suggested 5% to the church and 5% to other charities. Catholic education could be considered as part of the second 5%.</p>

<p>That’s what we were told.</p>

<p>And…as for MerryEcho’s comments…If her logic was to stand, then anyone receiving Pell or other taxpayer aid, should never give money to their church (or spend money on any “luxury” item) otherwise it’s like the taxpayer is paying for that person’s church (or luxury item). We just can’t have a system that works that way. Who would be the arbiter of such a system? Would we take away aid to someone who goes to McDonalds? Or has a cell phone? or goes to Disneyland?</p>

<p>mom2collegekids…ditto. You always have something to say that I appreciate hearing.</p>

<p>It’s your religious conviction to tithe, and it’s obviously very important for you and your family values. What about using this opportunity to teach your children about responsibility and sacrifice, and asking your children to take out loans to meet their financial obligations? Simply decide what you and your husband can afford on your current budget (including tithing), and explain to your children that they need to make the sacrifice of taking on loans/work study/summer jobs, etc for the rest?</p>

<p>And don’t forget that part of tithing is trusting God to provide - it always amazes me how things just work out when we are faithful. I’ve had it happen over and over in my life and can look back and see what look like financial miracles.</p>

<p>As atheists, we give substantially to social welfare organizations, and yes, we will cut back when D goes to college. It does make me sad, but it seems like the appropriate choice-- I’d like to think that D will make contributions to the world, and that by supporting her as she gains strength and ability, we will be doing good in a less tangible but essential way. It sounds like you might be making a similar choice and I think it’s a very fair one.</p>